THE SOURCE AND THE CHANNEL

I wonder if all disagreements, arguments, fights, battles, wars don't start with one singular person feeling disrespected by another.

I know I've come to understand that my self-centered fear is basically a fear of not getting the respect I'm due or losing the respect I've worked so hard to get.

I just did a quick mental review of the various people that right this minute I have a little grudge against...an ever-so-slight feeling of contempt toward, if you will. I looked at each one (there are three...there will be more), and at the root of each one is the feeling (a fact to my ego, of course) that they have disrespected me.

One, when I told her how much my last dental bill was for a simple teeth cleaning, raised an eyebrow and said, "Oh, really?" Well. I'm not a complete fool. I knew she was doubting my word...all but calling me a bald-faced liar and to my face! Disrespect walking.

Then there's the...oh why go into it. All three of the cases are laughable. Or, truthfully, they're laughable if they happen to you...to me? A whole 'nother story.

And that's where  "all my problems can be solved by spiritual principles" earns its keep. Earns its place in my heart and mind. Because that is what I turn to when I catch myself well into shaming and blaming you in my mind. I mentally give a lily of the valley to whomever I'm dissing, then I ask God to bless that one and change me. Then repeat as necessary. It doesn't take that long when I get right on it...it's the willingness to get right on it that counts.

Once again, I am the source of all my woes...and the channel for all my answers.

Thank You.