KEEPING OUR SELF CENTERED

I am free to use all [my] capacities to alleviate the suffering of those around me. In living for others, I come to life. – Eknath Easwaran, today’s “Words to Live By”

I heard a speaker yesterday make the point that is so essential to freedom from self. He said, in effect, that it is in living for others that we are opened to God's gift to us...the gift of God Itself. His message was quite moving. For it is true. It is not enough to live to help only our family, our community, our friends...we must be ready, willing and available to help whomever comes to us in need...and especially those with whom we are less than enchanted. Those who are wrong in other words.

It is only by allowing into my life those with whom I disagree that I discover they are truly my angels...for nothing and nobody sends me to God so quickly...so sincerely. That is when I understand the words, "Help me to seek to understand rather than seek to be understood," not to mention,  "Relieve me of the bondage of self" which becomes my mantra.

The balancing act, that which requires us to turn to God, is in keeping our own Self centered, in keeping our own primary purpose in life first in our consciousness. For if we lose our center, forget our primary purpose, we are less than useless. We are back to being self-centered…where none other is allowed entrance into our consciousness, and certainly not a higher power, for sure not God...where we are alone again, naturally.

Thank You.

ON QUOTING ANOTHER

My morning's blinding flash of the obvious: When I'm quoting another's analogy (and it's clever, funny, deep...quotable in a word) as if it were my own, I am not learning the lesson of the analogy. I'm going for the ego-victory.

I must find my own within me, then accept unto realization that that did not originate with me. It was voiced at sometime somewhere else...my ears did not necessarily even hear it. It is then mine, but not original to me so that my ego does not get involved.

If I'm quoting what I heard, I must give credit to whom and/or where I heard it or my ego takes credit and the lesson is lost to me.

Thank You.

ST. FRANCIS'S PRAYER IN MY HEART

I wrote my annual letter to God this morning.

Over the years, it has really become a thank-you note. I remember in my first letter to God I asked for an emerald ring...I remember because 35 years later I inherited an emerald ring. I'd forgotten I ever wanted one until I inherited it, and I had to grin...proof that my timetable and God's are waaay different...and His always wins.

Considering that I haven't asked for anything...any material thing...in a long, long time, it's mind-boggling how much I have had in 2012 to thank God for. I filled two pages with thanks...all of them important, none of them wearable, touchable, driveable (I once asked for a Mercedes, too...oh, great thought...wouldn't it be neat if my hearse were a Mercedes!).

Having spelled out many of my this year's reasons to be thankful, I am filled with such peace, such an inward  feeling of security, of being loved, cared for, needed...ah, but more important, I'm just realizing, is my outward flowing feeling of all those things. It is St. Francis's prayer in my heart...it does feel better to seek to care for than to seek to be cared for.

God is so good to me.

Thank You.

REASON...JUST ONE MORE OF GOD'S TOOLS

We cannot solve the problems of the mind with the mind. -- The Buddha

Whenever I come across that quote, I know it for true...then I spend the next ten minutes pondering how it is true, why it is true....

Our reasoning mind will not retire quickly, nor quietly. It is interestingly pathetic how long we will cling to the belief that reason is our safety net...that "victory can be ours for the thinking." When it is the detachment from reliance on our reasoning mind that sets us on the path to freedom.

Reason is essential on the long and winding road to the realization that reason is just one more tool of God's, not our safety net, not our security. Reason, if used properly, clears the channel for God's thoughts to pour through. Reason is God's Roto-Rooter, if you will.

Our mistake is relying on the Roto-Rooter instead of God.

Thank You.

IT IS OUR CHOICE

It is the material (reasoning) mind that we reflect when we fear, judge, gossip and whine...it is not personal to us. It only becomes ours when we personalize it, clinging to it to let it go. We make it our tar baby.

We have a choice...to live in the material world or the spiritual world. But we must remember the hook: We cannot move freely back and forth.

Once we make the decision...i.e., surrender to living consciously in God consciousness...we no longer have the option to choose the material mind for an hour or two or three so we can feel comfy and "fit in" or get back at or get over on...and then move back to the spiritual mind. No. Our new goal must be to fit in here on earth, living comfy in spiritual consciousness. That is the lesson learned...to be in the world but not of it.

We have a choice...material mind or spiritual mind? "Choose ye this day whom ye shall serve."

Thank You.

30 YEARS OF GOOD ORDERLY DIRECTION

Recently, I came across a little book that, starting in 1971, I read daily until the mid '80s. It's been fascinating to read my written notes of important things to me with the year noted. Fascinating because some of the things are so unbelievably petty and others so much more important than I knew or could have known when I wrote them.

For instance, of importance, on December 26, I had written in 1982 that I had a new mentor and his name. That is my same mentor today. I am simply whopper-jawed. That is 30 years ago. Today.

I just sent him an e-mail thanking him for agreeing back then to be my mentor, but more important, for not backing out at any time...with ample cause!...over the years.

Again, God is so good to me.

Thank You.

THE CHOICE IS SIMPLE

G. K. Chesterton, when asked what the trouble with the world is, replied, "I am." I doubt he was the first to know that, to say that, he just said it more succinctly than others. So this is no great secret, has not been a secret for a long, long time.

Why, then, am I always taken by surprise when it again proves true to me?

And why does it always feel so good when I can point you toward your bathroom mirror when you're complaining about another, and tell you to look in your own eyes, and say, "I am looking at the problem."

The answer, of course, is in the ego. The ego is ageless and will always legislate for itself. The secret to taming the ego is to get grateful for it, get grateful that it makes it so easy to see that we're going down that wrong road again if we're doing its dictates.

We're powerless over our ego's voice, but in that very powerlessness, we find our choice...God or ego? The choice is simple...get grateful or get screwed.

Thank You.

TRUE KINDNESS IS EGOLESS

Why don't we try kindness first? Why isn't kindness our go-to reaction? Why do we immediately react in kind to perceived slights, snubs, snags and snares? Then feel good about ourselves when we go one better and get over on  the originator of the slights.

Some great person once asked the question, "What wisdom can you find that is greater than kindness?"

Really...ponder that. Just ponder returning kindness for ill-will, kindness for unkindness. Let's face it, most of  the great spiritual leaders of the ages have taught love is the answer, no matter the question...that we give love. Why not try showing kindness first if love is too deep a dig to begin with.

A friend told me of a marvelous response to a questionable observation: Someone said to her, "Looks like you've put on some weight." And she replied, "No, I really haven't, but nice of you to notice." And they both smiled.

I love that. Because the observation could have been an invitation for a cat-fight or for  hurt feelings, both of which invariably end up in resentment with one or the other determined to get payback.

Sometimes kindness has the ring of goody-two-shoes, but if we're being kind just to make nice-nice, we're going down that wrong road again...the one known as Self Will.

True kindness finds a way to turn ill-will back not with a snark but openly, with a smile. That's the hidden pearl in kindness...it brings a smile to the lips of all concerned. That's probably because true kindness has no ego in it...it's of God, not of self.

Thank You.

LIVING LOVINGKINDNESS

[The following is a reprint of a blog of mine of  December 22, 2008.]

I was thinking this morning of lovingkindness, and what a peaceful word that is.

Then I thought simply of kindness, and a little prayer started to form, in effect asking for more kindness. Before the prayer formed, the answer was there…I already have all the kindness there is to have…all I need do is show it, put it out there, use it.

This is not new information, of course. I learned long ago that as long as I keep asking to be kinder, more loving, more generous, less judgmental…all the goodies…the more I deny the kindness I have, the love I am already filled with, and so forth.

The real problem is the fool-myself Catch-22…I feel downright righteous about asking for all these fine-sounding, God-approved things, totally ignoring the fact that all that I seek was bestowed in me before conception.

It is the act of giving over to another, in lovingkindness, that primes the pump for all the goodies to flow. And it is the lovingkindness that requires still more spiritual growth. My human nature, my ego-victory mind, does not give over just because I want to. To give over by keeping my mouth shut (and thinking judgmental thoughts) is just breeding a  resentment.

Living lovingkindness, then, is the goal.

Thank You.

BE STILL AND KNOW...PEACE

"Let There Be Peace On Earth and Let It Begin With Me" -- Author Unknown

Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin within me.

Thank You for my peace on earth that begins within me.

Thank You for my peace on earth that flows forth from within me.

Thank You.

HIDING IN THE EXPLANATION

Too often those of us who believe in, and practice, self-examination find the root cause of our misery...and stay there. We recognize that when mother/father/sister/brother did X, we hid from the pain in fear...lying/cheating/becoming an over- or under-achiever...which protected us, helped us feel in control.

Having found a legitimate, even acceptable, reason for our behavior, we hunker down...admitting freely the cause of our defect of character...thinking the admission means we're free of it or at least that we can't be blamed for it. ("Now, you'll understand me, and let me continue to lie/cheat, etc.")

No, what it means is that we are hiding in the explanation.

If we are ever to be truly free of our own selves, we now begin to understand the true meaning of  letting go, of becoming humble enough to "sit and wait on the Lord." It has been written that in seeing the defect of character, our work is done and God's has begun.

Now, the hardest part: We consciously thank God for doing whatever He knows to be best, leave it with Him, and seek to help another...asap. The reason that is the hardest part is it takes our minds off us, asking only that we focus on the needs of another.

Thank You.

ALL ANGER IS VICTIM BASED

I read once, and I have come to believe, that there are only two emotions: fear and love. All other emotions bloom from those.

It is my contention that fear's first bud is hurt, the briefest feeling of hurt, which immediately springs forth as anger or self-pity, depending on our bent, but both are victim based. That slight feeling of unease which flashes hurt goes one of two ways: 1) anger to cover up the hurt which justifies hurting in retaliation; or 2) magnified hurt to justify hurting in retaliation.

We angry ones lie to ourselves when we believe our anger is proof of our non-victimhood. Unresolved anger is the cloak of the victim.

Same goes for self-pity which we hurt ones wear as if it were a crown of martyrdom...enviable in our own minds. Its only goal is to hold to the hurt so the one who hurt us...hurts. Self-pity is another cloak of the victim.

What we fail to understand is that all temptations to fear are projected from within our own selves. They are the ego made manifest...looking to glorify itself, to protect itself, to defend itself.

We perceive our projected fear as an attack from another that must be put down, rather than realizing it as an invitation from our own ego. Our ego always legislates for itself, attempting to show its power, i.e., the non-existence of a power greater than itself. It only succeeds in keeping God out.

There is nothing to fear but fear itself. There is no self to protect. The Father and I are One.

Thank You.

GOD'S WAY IS BETTER THAN MY WAY

God makes no distinction between good people and bad people. -- "God Calling," December 17

I pray that I may live as though my mind were a reflection of the Divine Mind. --  "God Calling," December 18

Twenty-six people...twenty mere babes...murdered in school in Newtown, CT -- headlines worldwide, December 22, 2012

I read and must be gratified that at least I know from my eyebrows up that God's way is better than my way.

My job today, until eternity most like, is for my still more spiritual growth to be the dissolution of my resistance not toward forgiving the killer, but toward forgiving those who justify the existence and use of assault weapons...anywhere.

Again I read and must be gratified that at least I know from my eyebrows up that God's way is better than my way.

Thank You.

A WORK IN PROGRESS

My morning BFO: The reason it is impossible to live in God consciousness is that there is no ego-victory there.

The promise is, if we live in God consciousness, that we will know peace, we will walk free in our own minds, we will show forth the joy of living. All of which are WOW, and I want...but where are the well-earned accolades for being so selfless?

There's our answer to why ego reduction in depth is a never-ending quest...just go ahead and put it on our daily 2-Do list and get grateful. Which sounds fairly oh-well-hell, but it truly is the good news. 

How to set Bill straight or to ensure that Gertrude doesn't get over on me, or that they get theirs according to me...none has a place on our mental 2-Do list any longer. Now, it's how to recognize that Bill has a reasonable point that I can work with, that Gertrude's getting over on me will not define me in any way (nor will it benefit Gertrude), that they'll get theirs same as I'll get mine...and my job is to ensure that mine is of God, not of me. 

It is the daily ego-reduction-in-depth that keeps our focus on God. For none of these exercises is possible if we are relying on the reasoning mind...it will not, it cannot get us there. This may be as close as we are supposed to get to living in God consciousness on this earth.

We are, indeed, a work in progress...if we will let God work us, we'll progress.

Thank You.

THE SWEETNESS OF THE LORD

The reason it's relatively easy for me to "forgive" the Newtown killer, of course, is he did not personally affect me...my sensibilities, for sure, but not my inner "offended" place.

Gertrude, on the other hand, personally offended me with her careless put-down remark, and my thoughts are ever so buy plotting ways to make her pay.

I am reminded, again, that forgiveness is not just not giving a rap. That's simply getting over oneself.

Forgiveness, I believe, comes from and after a long struggle with our own self. It must come from our conscious surrender to our inability to let go of our attachment to our fear, hate, love of the perceived offender, his/her action, its very being.

It's about consciously turning to God seeking to know his love...his love for the other, for us, for anybody and for everybody...simply seeking the love of God be made manifest to/through us. This end result is not/cannot be a human action. Turning to God is the conscious decision we must make in the midst of our own pain of crashing and burning in personal defeat.

Ah, there, then comes the sweetness of the Lord.

Thank You.

'MINE ENEMIES' ARE WITHIN, NOT WITHOUT

[The following is a reprint of my blog of December 29, 2008.]

“Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies….” The 23rd Psalm

It was a huge surprise to me when I realized this for a comforting promise. Part of the comfort came in learning who “mine enemies” are, and that they are inside me, exactly where my God lives.

He has prepared a table before me in the presence of my enemies, which to me is always fear masquerading as pride, greed, lust, anger, gluttony, envy, sloth and any other negative I’m feeling. When one or more start to battle for my attention (at my table), I get to react not at all…just turn my attention immediately to God and remember, “Not my battle, God…and I thank You.” (I said that I get to; I did not say that I always do…but if I want peace, I always have to come to that, eventually.)

The other part of the comfort is knowing exactly who “mine enemies” are not.

They are not people. There are people who love me and people who don’t, and at any given time those who love me can feel like my enemies, but that’s usually because we’re each certain we are right on some irrelevant matter. We get to merge our opinions until we both feel right and good about our opinion. 

Those who don’t love me are life’s emery board…I get to rub against that board until I’m smooth and non-resistant, meaning I no longer react to my stuff that I see in them…and we each move on.

Thank you.

NEWTOWN, CONNECTICUT

My thoughts are for the family and friends today. Those who must pick up the pieces of their hearts and move forward...haltingly, barely moving to begin with. Knowing that there will always be missing pieces...their hearts will never be whole again.

Their little angels have become in a terrible flash our little angels...they do belong to the universe now.

And for the poor, misguided killer...my uncomprehending thoughts and my deepest prayers are for his soul. Pray God it does rest in peace. I have prayed for Hitler's soul, for Ted Bundy's, I pray for this man's...else what's forgiveness for.

Thank You.

SIMPLY ACKNOWLEDGE THE POWER WITHIN

I learned a valuable lesson once about how dear I hold my fears...I thought it was unforgettable until something happened yesterday that reminded me of it, and I realized that I'd forgotten all about it.

Back story...one time a friend and I were sharing just what our worst fear was. I said mine was fear of losing my mind and being locked up in a straight-jacket in St. E's forever. She immediately said, "Oh, I've been in St. E's...that's no big deal."

Such fury flashed through me that I knew no torture I could think of would be enough for her...the awfullest I could think of was but butterflies on her cheeks to what she deserved. I felt this so intensely that I had to quick excuse myself and go to the restroom. (I've spent a lot of time in restrooms which I don't doubt has saved a lot of friendships...probably could have spent more.)

Later in my journaling I examined my reaction, and I realized how dear I hold that fear...to have it made mock of was just the outside of enough. I could think of nothing, no other feeling of mine, that anyone could put down or dismiss or laugh at that would incite such fury within me.

Just yesterday in conversation the topic of fears came up. I mentioned that, back in the day, my worst fear was, etc., and my friend said that wasn't hers...that she would have welcomed going out of her mind. I didn't flash furious, but I immediately started expanding on my fear, trying to make everybody understand that my fear was justified, legitimate, if you will..."It's not just fear of insanity, it's fear of being in a straight-jacket for eternity," I wailed.

I've pondered that this morning. I considered things I love and their being dissed...what do I love more than anything in the world? I'd say God, but really...the best I can do with God is know that He loves me, and I'm just grateful I finally know that. There have been loves in my life, but if someone made mock of any of them, I would not flash furious...probably would be offended, say so, and move on. There is no good feeling I have toward anything, that I can think of right now, that I would feel murderous about if that feeling were dissed. I'd feel ticked, of course, but not blind fury.

But my worst fear...to diss it, apparently is to diss my very self? That I still consider it my worst fear gives me justifiable cause for pause. Why? Because, going insane on its face does not frighten me. Straight jacket? Oh, I'm feeling tummy turnovers right there. Claustrophobic, maybe.

So, is it loss of control that's the real culprit...the base of my worst fear? Not just loss of control, but the restriction, unable to even move a finger freely. Yeah...I suspect that's it. And none of that is important really...what the various culprits are is insignificant, in fact.

What matters is my reaction to my worst fear...it is important to find the base, understand the cause, but having found it, I must move on. Else I'll stay there, fretting over the whys and wherefores...and finding someone to blame, more like.

My reaction to my worst fear must be to calm myself...to simply remind me, "It is I, be not afraid." Or, to mentally repeat my mantram. There really is no need to stay with it...for what? Trying to tame it? No. Tame your reaction to it by simply acknowledging the Higher Power within. That's it. 

Thank You.

ADDENDUM: In thinking about this in my quiet time this afternoon, I got a mini BFO...it may be that  fear is the tie that binds us to our reasoning mind, to the material world (third dimension). Bolstered by the suspicion that letting go of a justified fear is letting go of one's common sense, we cling to that fear while wanting it gone. We nurture our fear by concentrating all our attention on it, praying to be rid of it. And not just fear for life, limb, sanity (what we call "real" fears), but fear of making a social faux pas, fear of doing dumb in a work situation, and the like. All are of the material world. They do not exist in the spiritual world which is why it does no good to ask God to keep them from happening...or to cause them to happen to someone else. They do not exist in the spiritual world.

If all of that is true, it's no wonder I felt such fury on having my fear dissed...it represented my world, my reasoning mind world.

On the other hand, love is the stairway to the fourth dimension, the spiritual world. All that it requires is acceptance...becoming transparent to the moment, also known as surrender.

Thank You.

WILLING TO BE FREE

To hold no one in bondage to his errors, sins, debts, or obligations, is to find release from these for oneself. -- Joel Goldsmith, "The Heart of Mysticism," at p. 474.

Interestingly, in my quiet time this morning, the name of the wife of a former employer came to mind. I loved him...her, not so much. But we did the nice-nice with no problems. However, the last couple of years, their Christmas cards, always originating from her of course, have had slight slights in them...just enough to note, but not enough to natter about.

So here's me, in meditative reflection time, trying to decide whether to send them a Christmas card this year or just drop them. Comes a brilliant thought: I'll not send a Christmas card to them, I'll send her a little note letting her know that Christmas cards are no decent way to...blah, blah, blah, rattle, rattle, boom, bang.

I thanked God for blessing them and changing me, and I felt an easing in my heart. Then my blinding flash of the obvious: Forgiveness comes through the Father within flowing forth...we just have to be willing to receive the gift that is flowing out from us in order to pass it on.

I pondered that and realized that the block to forgiveness comes from the ego-victory mind which lives for the feeling of having been wronged, dissed, and of payback to win. So I tested that.

I consciously considered the lady, the source of my perceived slights, and her deliberate, with malice aforethought, cuts. My chest tightened, and a new meaner way to beat her at her own game popped into mind. I consciously thanked God for blessing her and changing me...and again I felt an easing in my heart.

It was a great gettin' up morning in my heart, my soul, my body and my brains.

It is true...to hold no one in bondage to her errors, sins, debts, or obligations, is to find release from these for oneself. And it is not up to God. It is up to me to be willing...to be willing to be free from my own self. That is all.

Thank You.

WE HAVE ONE NEED...AND A BUNCH OF WANTS

It's always a surprise to me when I remember that "what goes around, comes around" is not all bad. That putting good out there will also return to me.

I have come to understand that this is one of those where feelings are not facts...as in, I put my bad out there,  and it feels like I'm slapped up side the head with it within a day if not an hour. Yet, I put my good out there, and I've long since forgotten about it before I ever see any good floating my way...it feels.

The reason may be that I'm always convinced, when I'm doing my bad, that it's not bad. It's me standing up for myself, or me telling you for your own good...it's only after the fact when I'm doing my checklist that I realize...uh-oh. But if I'm doing my good, and I am aware of that and am looking for a return on my good, I've just slipped over into...uh-oh.

The punch line, of course, is always the same, never varies, and is impossible to remember without constant vigilance, i.e., self-discipline: God has my back. God has your back. And since we are one...God has our back. I do not need to stand up for myself...God has my back. I do not need to tell you for your own good...God has your back. You do not need to react in kind...God has our back.

We have only one need which is two-pronged: To love God with all our heart, soul, body and brains and to love our friend/enemy as ourselves.

We have wants up the gump-stump...get those wants in line with God's will, and we won't have to worry about getting our own. Our own will come to us...is right now on its way...is already here. Open our eyes that we may see.

Thank You.

WRAP OUR FEAR IN FAITH AND SEND IT OUT

I was talking the other day to a friend who is in the midst of a spitting contest with a group of friends. She allowed as how it really is them, not her, and they should know better.

She then said, "I know you disagree with me, don't you?" And since she asked....

All I found it necessary to remind her of was what she learned back in the day: To go look in the bathroom mirror and say, "I am looking at my problem,"  and then to dig until she found the real root. I took no gloating pride in saying that. It was almost like, on being asked, giving her the time of day.

Here's my miracle...I immediately thought of a situation that was making me a tish uncomfortable. That little interaction gave me pause to think and to realize if I did not take care of my slight discomfort, it would have somebody else's name on it before noon the next day. And I would know it was them and not me and they should know better.

So I did my dig, found my root, wrapped my fear in faith and put it out upon the water. I felt 10 pounds lighter. And, just as a sidebar, almost anything is worth it to feel 10 pounds lighter.

God is so good to me. God is so good. God is.

Thank You.

UNORIGINAL RANDOM THOUGHTS

Random thoughts...all of which have been said before, but they're on my mind today:

There was a time, back in the day, when I worried that I was not humble enough. Then I came to see that I would have to get humble before that could be a problem. After which I realized there is no "humble enough." Every waking moment is a realistic chance of our being humbled...and being humbled by our own design. The best we can hope for is enough sense to see our part in it, to take responsibility for it...that is humility aborning.

And, no, believing that we are nothing but worms in the dust is not humility...it is ego on parade, dressed up as Less Than You Are Thus Worthy of Note.

Fear of financial insecurity, fear of  anything is just another way to stay stuck in the belief that our fear has more pizzazz than God, which after all is a power greater than our reasoning mind.

In the material world, fear is essential for there are only two emotions: Fear and Love. If we're not feeling so good about something/anything, that is fear; is we are feeling good about something/anything, that is love. It is essential that we recognize each so we can upgrade our attitude about whatever we're feeling not so good about else it will grab us by the hair of the head and run away to wherever it chooses to run. Likewise, it is essential to recognize the good feeling for love so we can wallow in it.

Money is not the root of all evil. It is the love of money that is the root of all evil. There is nothing wrong with money or of prestige and power...it is our obsessive search for money, prestige and power that beggars us.

God loves us just exactly as we are right this very minute. On a good day, I love you a tish more than I love me...then humility whispers, "Liar, liar, pants on fire."

Thank You.

THE SOURCE AND THE CHANNEL

I wonder if all disagreements, arguments, fights, battles, wars don't start with one singular person feeling disrespected by another.

I know I've come to understand that my self-centered fear is basically a fear of not getting the respect I'm due or losing the respect I've worked so hard to get.

I just did a quick mental review of the various people that right this minute I have a little grudge against...an ever-so-slight feeling of contempt toward, if you will. I looked at each one (there are three...there will be more), and at the root of each one is the feeling (a fact to my ego, of course) that they have disrespected me.

One, when I told her how much my last dental bill was for a simple teeth cleaning, raised an eyebrow and said, "Oh, really?" Well. I'm not a complete fool. I knew she was doubting my word...all but calling me a bald-faced liar and to my face! Disrespect walking.

Then there's the...oh why go into it. All three of the cases are laughable. Or, truthfully, they're laughable if they happen to you...to me? A whole 'nother story.

And that's where  "all my problems can be solved by spiritual principles" earns its keep. Earns its place in my heart and mind. Because that is what I turn to when I catch myself well into shaming and blaming you in my mind. I mentally give a lily of the valley to whomever I'm dissing, then I ask God to bless that one and change me. Then repeat as necessary. It doesn't take that long when I get right on it...it's the willingness to get right on it that counts.

Once again, I am the source of all my woes...and the channel for all my answers.

Thank You.

IN THE END, ALL THAT MATTERS...

[The following is a reprint of a blog of mine from December 29, 2009]

"In the end, all that matters is what you have done for Christ."

Some years ago, I saw that message, framed, picture-like, at the home of a lovely lady who was my mother’s friend.

I’ve thought of that message over the years, and it becomes truer to me as I open my mind to it…true for all, when one realizes “for Christ” as for God, for Allah, for Buddha, for Mohammad, for Mary, for Self, for Spirit, for….

In the end, all that matters is what you have done…selflessly…for others.

Thank You.

PRACTICE STAYING MENTALLY IN THE NOW

I so often write how long ago it was that I realized this or that. That is my ego assuring me that I'm not a newbie here...that I got cred.

I suspect I need to start writing "a long time ago/yesterday" until I do not feel the need to qualify myself. At least I've learned not to promise me that I'll immediately perfect myself and start writing "yesterday" alone.

This is a great way to practice staying mentally here and now...and there's my carrot. It is my truth that we can never over-practice staying mentally here and now.

Thank You.

PONDERING THE LORD'S PRAYER

...Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil....

That is the most puzzling part of the Lord's Prayer for me.

I cannot wrap my brain around Jesus the Christ asking God to lead us not into temptation but to deliver us from evil...the God Jesus purportedly preached about knows all our needs, is not capable of leading anybody into temptation or of delivering us into evil.

That's the great promise, he knows all our needs. Hence and since he supposedly knows all our needs, we are wrong to ask for anything...that's to doubt him on its face.

I ponder, and have pondered, this ever so often for years.

My today's best guess: "Lead us not into temptation" is my grateful invitation to God to receive his gift to me of my free will back from me so I do not wander over into my reasoning mind thinking where self-determined objectives take precedence over God's will.

"Deliver us from evil" is simply "deliver us from ego," from ego-victory thinking.

I'm fairly certain that this time a year from now I'll have an entirely different understanding, but that makes sense (to my reasoning mind) now.

Thank You.

TO KNOW LOVE

Upgrade your attitude, you upgrade your problem. That was a blinding flash of the obvious a whole lot of years ago, and I'm still grateful that I'm learning how to.

And every year on this day when I read Eknath Easwaran's Words to Live By, I know again the thrill of This Is How To.

This is how to transform consciousness: "...you have to look for the right spot. In some people it is a particular compulsive craving; in some it is jealousy; in some, blind fury. Some may be fortunate enough to have all three. Each person has to look for that spot where urgent work is most needed." [Emphasis added.]

And the urgent work is not asking God to take it away, not giving in to the feeling that we're never going to get there, not trying every trick we can think of to stop doing it. The urgent work is making ourselves available to God on a daily basis...simply seeking to realize God. Go to God for God...that is all. That defect can and will be either lifted out of us, or, more probably, simply transmuted. Transmuted into something we can use to help others get free of the same defect.

"This is to know love -- and love is life eternal." Joel Goldsmith, The Heart of Mysticism, at p. 474.

Thank You.

THE HOME OF HOPE IS HURT

I've heard it said that “the home of hope is hurt.”  Considering the lengths to which most of us are willing to go in order to avoid the feeling of hurt, it's no wonder we so often feel hopeless.

Every day there's a new and more potent drug on the market to aid in killing pain. And we're not necessarily speaking of physical pain...like Novocain for a root canal. No, we're talking about anxiety, depression, fear in all of its forms. 

Then, if we will but choose to listen, we will hear that humility is the healer of pain. The humility of actually telling God in the form of another human being that we are anxious, depressed, afraid. And when the anxiety, depression, or fear is not immediately lifted out of us, learning to trust that the problem is being worked on...the solution is near, sit and wait on the Lord. Just like we have to sit and wait on the doctor when we have a 10:00 AM appointment, and s/he doesn't see us until 11:00 AM. We sit and wait on the doctor, trusting we'll get fixed.

According to Fr. Richard Rohr, God, divine love, is received by surrender instead of performance or perfection. That to me is the difference between giving up and giving in. Giving up is an act of self-control, as in suicide. Giving in is simply letting God flow...getting out of our own way because God has our perfect and personal solution in hand.

Our reasoning mind will never get us there.

Thank You.

LET GOD SPEAK TO AND THROUGH US

"Except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it." -- Psalm 127:1

"We can become highly polished acorns or grow into mighty oaks," a friend.

"If we have carefully followed directions...we have become God conscious." -- Anonymous

All of these quotes are simply telling us that our reasoning mind will not get us there...there being where we need to go, to 4th dimensional thinking, out of self and into God.

The more books we read, equations we work, tests we ace, the smarter we may or may not become, but we're going down that wrong road again if we're looking for still more spiritual growth. Since the promise is that all of our problems can be solved by spiritual principles, we'd do well to concentrate our efforts on spiritual growth.

Which takes nothing at all away from keeping our reasoning mind sharp and sharper...that's one of God's tools to use in order to speak to us, so we need it clean and clear. But if jacking our intellect higher and higher is our primary purpose in life, indeed is our source of feeling safe and secure, then we got problems.

The trouble with relying on our own mind for our sense of security is that it breaks so easily...it is, after all, driven by our ego whose primary goal is to keep us safe...according to its idea of safe and is self-centered in the extreme.

All of this comes to me because I'm arm-wrestling with God again. A person with whom I'm acquainted has lifted an original idea of mine (enough said), and, worse than the lifting, she's taking credit for it. And to top that even, some time back she held me up for ridicule in front of God and everybody knocking down my "original" idea.

So I'm talking to God about how I can set her straight in the kindest, most spiritual way possible, and God's crazy idea is to agree with her that it was HER idea to begin with. When it wasn't it wasn't it wasn't.

My job now is to not go ahead and do it God's way with my own resisting mind showing forth in a bad, bad attitude...lips saying good, attitude showing ugly. My job is to let God perfect this within me in whatever manner It chooses. I would need to go out of my way for this to even come up, so I get to stand still and listen, sit and wait on the Lord, open my mind and heart to let God flow out. In short, to clear the channel, my reasoning mind, for God to speak to and through me.

Thank You.

WE WALK FREE

There's a story in the Old Testament that I've made my own...meaning mine probably bears little relation to what is written, but it works for me. I use it in my life to divorce myself from my own opinions.

It's the story of Joseph who was sold into slavery by his jealous brothers. He was imprisoned, somehow came under the protection of the Pharaoh, and rose to be the Pharaoh's right-hand man. The brothers come into some rough sledding, go bankrupt and near starving, go to Joseph and, knowing they need to get on his good side,  admit their jealous behavior and beg forgiveness. In response to their admission of bad behavior, he says, in effect, "You meant it for ill, but God meant it for good."

That's all we need remember to let go of our attachment to all of our resentments of others. Because our job now, instead of sitting and resenting, is to know that God meant this for good. That gives us permission to find our gold in it.

Find our gold, and we've found our gratitude...we've upgraded our problem. We can say a sincere "thank you" to whomever we've been resenting. We walk free.

Thank You.

LETTING GO OF WHAT I KNOW

[The following is a reprint of a blog of mine from August 25th, 2008.]

I know that seeking good, seeking peace, seeking to do the honorable thing are all acceptable, “the right stuff” so to speak.

And then I ponder on a self-determined objective as opposed to God’s perfect objective…and I am reminded that seeking harmony is no better than seeking discord…it’s still a self-determined objective. For I have only my own idea of what harmony is, and whenever my wants bump up against your wants, my idea of harmony is usually getting you to agree with me…or, when I’m particularly spiritual in my own mind, letting you be right: mouth agrees with you; mind thinks, “Oh, let it go;” ego says, “I’ll get you later.” And a resentment is born.

So the key, it seems, goes back to staying in the is-ness of now. Which sounds fanciful, but I am finding that it works when I remember to say “Thank You” as whatever picture comes into my experience. And in that acceptance, I am open to doing what I need to do at the moment and letting it pass on by.

It is my old self-centered fear that is always in play…of not getting the respect due me or losing the respect I feel I’ve so rightly earned. And I realize anew that self-respect and self-centered fear cannot co-exist…respect is of God, fear is not. Like a hug, I cannot “get” it, I can only “give” it, at which point my own comes back to me.

Thank You.