OUR ULTIMATE TEST...TRUSTING GOD

Still more spiritual growth is all about detaching, letting go, giving over. The reasoning mind is all about No.

The trouble with the reasoning mind, which houses the ego, is that it truly has only our personal self-interest at heart. It means no ill to us but its first weapon of choice is ill-will. Ill-will toward whomever it feels threatened by. Somebody is going to pay, is its watchword, and it is not going to be us.

I was reminded of this recently when I was rereading a book that was read at my first retreat. The book is all about pledging our allegiance to God. It sets out the need to renounce family, forsake family, look no more to family for anything. It lists many other things we must renounce, but "family" got the most resistance.

Our reasoning mind totally resisted the concept of giving our family over into the care of God. Of trusting that the unseen God could and would care for them as well as we in the here and now could or would. Or, more particularly, that the unseen God could or would care for us as well as our family does here in the seen.

We must divorce ourselves from all of our attachments and let the grace of spiritual reality give us up to God, to the care of God. This is our own personal test in spiritual growth: trusting that God, who is unseen, can and will care for us and ours as well as we can here in the seen...will, in fact, intervene in our lives in our behalf.

Our ultimate test, of course, is simply trusting God. For any and all reasons.

Thank You.

IT'S THE DOING IT THAT COUNTS

You need not aspire for or get any new state. Get rid of your present thoughts, that is all. -- Ramana Maharshi

Now, there's good advice, which, like most good advice, is utterly useless if we're not ready to hear it.  Until we open our mind, release any resistance and ask within ourselves, "How?," those are just so many pretty words.

But I bring good news! Once I was ready to actually do it, to actually get rid of my present thoughts  (because my present thoughts were nattering me, and worse, I was starting to believe them), I began using what I'd been taught. I had been taught that my reasoning mind was God's tool to use, not mine. So don't try to turn it off, turn it over...to God to do with as He knows best for me.

One of the tools I'd been given, in order to turn it over, is: Whenever an ugly looks like it's heading for me, think "thank You" first, then "It is I, be not afraid." The ugly is I, my gift. I accept it as such and turn that sucker around as many ways as I need to until I find the sliver of gold. It is there...find it, and that sliver will grow into a blessing beyond our reasoning mind's comprehension.

What we most need to remember is that the reasoning mind cannot get us there. We must go beyond reason to love...the very first "thank You" turns our dread into love, then into acceptance, then into non-resistance...with which we give over to God who does His thing. Not our problem any longer.

This really isn't that hard to remember...it's the habitual doing it that takes some time.

Thank You.

IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S ME

"It's not you, it's me" has been the by-word for breakups for a long time now...breakup with a love, a friend, a parent, a sibling...doesn't matter. It's the perfect out. How does the other one argue with that? Or how does the other one win against that!

The only problem with it, of course, is that the one saying it does not for a minute believe it. There's the core of the problem of life itself (not to be too dramatic about it).

We have learned to speak Truth while not believing Truth. We continue to believe, to bank on, our reasoning (ego-victory) mind...which is never wrong, always legislating for itself, and lives to get-back-at because it's not me, it's you to our ego-victory mind.

Our reasoning mind is at its most powerful (and destructive) when it is convinced that it is putting another's needs first...a sick child, a disabled parent, a misguided sibling/friend/love.

It is only by going to God when we have a sick child, a disabled parent, a misguided sibling/friend/love and sincerely seeking to know and to do Its will, without pre-set personal conditions, that our ego-victory mind is deflated.

Our lesson to learn is that God's will might be exactly the opposite of what we are seeing needs be done...or, harder to accept, it might be exactly the same as what we are seeing...but in an exactly opposite direction of the way we want to help.

In fact, our ego-victory mind wants only for the one in need to be like us...and we are the only ones who are unaware that that is our goal. The one in need is resisting mightily and probably doesn't even know why...our solution just does not fit is all s/he may well be feeling.

God's will is the original one-size-fits-all...our will is one-size-fits-none, not even ourselves. It is not you, it is me.

Thank You.

ANSWERED PRAYER IS HAVING IT TO PASS ON

We start out wanting...our wills to be satisfied....Gradually we find we are not happy when we are selfish so we begin to make allowances for other peoples' wills. But this again does not give us full happiness, and we begin to see that the only way to be truly happy is to try to do God's will. --  Anonymous

That is so my experience. Especially in understanding that wanting what I want when I want it gives no satisfaction but moving up to giving over to other people doesn't give full happiness either. Then, BINGO: "We begin to see that the only way to be truly happy is to try to do God's will."

In this morning's meditation I received the BFO in re my friend with whom I'm having a push-pull time, "You need to praise her...to make certain she is aware how grateful you are for her."

I then picked up Goldsmith's "Heart of Mysticism," and the first words I read (from the 147th Psalm) were: "Praise ye the Lord...," and I knew my BFO to be true. I knew that was God's will for me spelled out, that that is how we praise the Lord. We praise others for they represent God's ears, and hearing, they then pass it on...and that is the answered prayer.

God is so good to me.

Thank You.

DOING WHAT I NEED TO DO BECAUSE I WANT TO

I had the best experience this morning. The best experience with my own attack mind. I found myself thinking, pondering, questioning how a dear friend of mine and I could resolve an unspoken problem. We each have an identical problem the solution to which we come at in exactly opposite directions.

The best experience for me was that I found myself really questioning how we could come to agreement...how to give over and remain true to ourselves.

I came to this by taking her inventory. I'm a big believer in taking inventories of others as long as our goal is to find the part we own in it...goes back to the old (and true) "if you can spot it, you got it."

I wrote a lot before I came to how she so aggressively states her position as if there is no other position that could possibly be...with chin out and fire in eyes. And that's when she's just chatting, not even discussing the pros and cons with another. And, lo, I saw me.

Now, I believe I've come a long way from there. I did once live there, but as I so often say, nothing is past tense with me. That dogmatic little pedant is still alive within me, ready to leap out and show my butt whenever I least expect it. The good news is, today I know that is not the core of me.

With that realization, I get to extend that internal knowledge and acceptance to my friend. I get to stop running my mind on how to explain any part of it to her or to me. Loose it and let it go. "Drop kick me, Jesus, through the goal posts of life" [from a great country song by Bobby Bare].

All I need do is mentally recommit myself to our friendship...to my putting our friendship before my desire to explain...anything. I can do that...because I want to. Here's me, doing what I need to do because I want to do it. Don't tell me there is no God.

Thank You.

WHEN WILL WE EVER LEARN?

It is for me a continuing conundrum, this reliance of mine on my reasoning mind. I have read and I have realized that the material world is but a mirror image of God's view...that, to me, explains paradox. Yet I continue to try to think my way through a perceived problem.

Ponder these for instances:

• We elect a man (so far, no woman)  president of the United States of America and consider him a failure if he doesn't do it twice. 
• A person can be in prison for murder due to addiction to drugs and alcohol, yet declare himself "free for the first time in my life." (See "Flight"...please.)
• We fight fear with a vengeance and every drug known, most of which have side effects causing anxiety, yet a simple "Welcome" to the anxiety as it is galloping forward in our minds lets it pass right on through and away.
• We put up mental walls against all of our enemies, half our friends, and most of our relatives, when a drawing closer to them removes our own resistance and allows love to grow in all parties.

From a song of the '60s: "When will we ever learn? When will we ever learn?"

Thank You.

THE PRINCIPLE OF ONENESS WITH GOD

The following poem is from Joel Goldsmith's "The Heart of Mysticism," and it is attributed  to Paul Oregan:

Let what will come! Old faiths be overthrown
And new beliefs give old beliefs the lie:
One thing I hold mid crash of creed and throne
Forever I am I.

Before time was, or thought of day or night,
Before God woke the silence with Its voice,
I, hidden in the Being Infinite
In silence did rejoice.

And I, the pilgrim of eternity,
Can laugh to see eternities roll on;
For though God say: There shall be naught but me;
Yet, He and I are One.

Thank You.

MY ENCHANTED THANKSGIVING

I had an enchanted Thanksgiving celebration yesterday...with friends, the way I always wanted my family to be...and, with me, the way my family always wanted me to be.

Thank You.

OUR ONLY NEED

I was at a retreat once where the retreat master suggested we take a popular love song and think of it as us singing it to God. She suggested "You Light Up My Life" or "I Will Follow You"...thinking of God as the "you." It was fun and enlightening.

This morning I thought, what if God is singing to us? Ponder that.

This reminds me of my blinding flash of the obvious with my first dog, a seven-pound Maltese, Ari of Aslan. All Ari wanted was to love...he was the original if I can't be with the one I love, I'll love the one I'm with. He just loved to love.

My BFO was that we all of us have a little Ari at our core...we need to give love. Our mistake is in believing that we need to get love. No. We are loved. Our only need to is pass that love on.

Thank You.

A LITTLE HAND MIRROR

So I'm talking with God this morning, and he says, "I'll tell you what you need...you need a little hand mirror to carry with you at all times. That way you'll always be able to see immediately and exactly who and what your problem is."

That was such a good idea that I immediately thought of all the people I needed to give a little hand mirror to....

Thank You.

BE NOT AFRAID

My morning's blinding flash of the obvious:

It is the Word that we must assimilate...the Word and only the Word. With that realization, all else falls from the thrall of our reasoning mind. Nothing can come to us, can come from us that is not of God, that is not God appearing:

• To every worry, fret or fear..."It is I, be not afraid."
• To every doubt or dread..."It is I, be not afraid."
• To every sense of superiority toward another..."It is I, be not afraid."
• To every sense of inferiority of another..."It is I, be not afraid."

Thank You.

MORE QUESTIONS THAN ANSWERS

Here's me, thinking I've got a handle on this spiritual growth thing...or close enough. Then I come across an imponderable.

In Joel Goldsmith's "The Heart of Mysticism" (at p. 452), he writes: "...no good can come to you; all good is to flow from you....in the case of an emergency or a disaster from out of the depths of the infinite nature of your own [Self], you would be maintained and sustained, and able to care for others."

I immediately flash to Hurricane Sandy...Staten Island, et al., then to 9/11 and Katrina.

Is it that some, living in the material, reasoning-mind world of the third dimension, can comprehend only the disaster, the unwanted that is appearing, and declare there can be no God if this can be. Then, some see the disaster and reach out to lead others through, help others, "care for others" and are lifted into fourth dimension consciousness and experience the disaster but walk free through it?

That sure leaves me with a boatload of questions. I'm clearly not there yet. I need to let it perc...the answers will come (or not). For whatever reason, though, I believe I'm heading in the right direction.

I do know that no good will come to me...it will flow forth from me. I know that because that is my experience. I would not believe it just because someone else wrote it and I read it...or I did not, at any rate, until it proved true in my life.

That is my experience. My good flows from me when I keep the care of others as my daily desire, my daily focus...which explains why some days can feel so dingy. I lose my focus...or, more to the point, I become my focus.

Thank You.

GET OUT OF THE WAY AND LET

Dear God, For this day I turn myself over to You....

Do not for a minute believe that in turning ourselves over to God we are turning ourselves outward to Him. We are not giving ourselves over for Him to purify and return to us all fixed...akin to the old-time Chinese laundry where dirty linens were taken to be washed, fluffed, ironed and returned all pretty, ready to be dirtied again.

No. "I turn myself over to You" within me.

"I stand at the door and knock" is God within us, knocking to be let out...to flow forth from us. Our job is to get quiet and listen for directions on how to open that door...or, in truth, how to get out of the way and let the door be opened for us.

It is enough that one surrenders oneself. Surrender is to give oneself up to the original cause of one's being. Do not delude yourself by imagining such a source to  be some God outside you. One's source is within oneself. Give yourself up to it. That means that you should seek the source and merge in it.  -- Ramana Maharshi

Thank You.

GOD ALWAYS PROVIDES

[The following is a reprint of my blog of  November 27, 2008.]

I thought this morning of a woman I knew (minimally…I was the secretary to her attorney) many years ago in California. She was of Hungarian birth, was very rich, and she loved to talk of her youth when she fled Hungary just as the Nazi army was moving in. She had a hair-raising story to tell.

Her family was very wealthy, had royal blood according to her, and I had no reason to doubt her. But almost (which is the operative word here) all they had, had already been confiscated, and it was looking dire for their survival. She and her parents barely escaped in the dead of the night, with all they owned on their backs.

The “almost” included several pieces of very fine jewelry which she and her mother pinned and sewed to the underwear they were wearing.

When they got to America, they converted the jewelry to cash, settled in, and, long story short, through lousy investments, lost everything. By now, her parents had passed on, she was alone without a penny to bless herself with, and she prayed that God would come to her aid.

She came across the petticoat that her mother had worn out of Europe, was wadding it up to throw it away and felt a lumpy something…she shook the petticoat out, and there, pinned on the underside, was an emerald and diamond broach they had missed. She had her nest egg.  (And may I say, I never saw her but that she had that broach pinned to her shoulder…in the morning, at noon, or in the evening). 

Most interesting, she swore then and every time she told the story that she had never laid eyes on that broach before the day she “found” it, and she knew well all the pieces that they had since there were only a half dozen or so pieces. 

I love this story, and I love it not for the mystery of the broach which I tend to believe was her way of making a good story better (and I’d do the same!). I love it for the fact that she always had enough…she just did not know it, and until she asked for God’s help, could not see it.

God’s job is to provide…our job is to rely on that.

Thank You.

I AM THE WORM IN THIS APPLE

"The hardest part of spiritual growth is the discipline of self, the necessary daily discipline of taking the time to practice the Presence."

Being on time requires self-discipline. 

Being rigid in our thinking about being on time leads to being rigid, righteous and right, also dogmatic and pompous. Pulling up still more harsh terms to describe rigid thinking borders on self-abuse which is self-centered in the extreme.  

Lord, i am the worm in this apple...i give my flights of fantasy to you to cleanse my ego-victory centered mind, to purify my thoughts, to set me free of me.

Thank You.

OUR PERFECT ANSWER IS WAITING TO BE LET OUT

I read somewhere that God is the food and all we have to do is provide the hunger.

That goes much deeper. Like, God is the solution and all we have to do is provide the problem. There. There's our never-ending supply of reasoning mind fodder. For with problems, we also get to provide patience. The reasoning mind can usually come up with a quick fix, also known as quick sand. Or it declares the problem unsolvable and gives in to depression, anger, anxiety, self-pity...any and all of which are self-punishing actions, none of which are helpful or necessary.

Why is it so difficult to accept that all our questions have been answered?, that all our problems have been solved?...and all in our favor!

There's the hook...the "all in our favor" is the really unbelievable part. We can more easily accept that all our problems have been solved but for the fear that the solution is going to hurt, or be personally unacceptable in some manner.

So our reasoning mind goes on seeking, searching, digging...utterly ignoring the perfect answer which is within, standing at the door knocking...waiting to be let out.

Thank You.

DO IT ANYWAY

The only way to greatness is to make oneself nothing. -- Lao-tzu

What does greatness look like to me? and within me? For a long time now, my conscious striving has been to put the other person first. It is interesting to observe the other person's (or any other person's) reaction to that.

For instance, Ruckus was mauled recently by an unleashed dog (the owner of which I had spoken to previously about her need to leash her dog). After my initial terror and upon learning that Ruckus had not been seriously hurt, I did not castigate her...in fact, I was reasonable. I asked for and got her payment for his injuries, told her that Animal Control had been notified (by the vet since that is the law), and fairly well let it go. The owner was less than gracious with my graciousness. On top of which, I told a friend of mine, and she went ballistic towards the owner. When I answered her questions that I had not chewed the lady a new one, nor did I have any intention of suing, she doubled down on her fury, this time towards me.

Then there is the  acquaintance of mine who had missed a couple of our groups' weekly get-togethers. I sent an e-mail asking if he was well. He took it that I was hitting on him and has been extremely to overly friendly since then.

I haven't found it necessary to set anybody straight...just observed all of these albeit with a sense of disappointment. Which brought the question to mind: What was I expecting? Kudos? Gratitude? Unending praise?

I think greatness may be in those who do decent without thinking...with no expectations on the other end. There's an old saying which I can't remember right now but it's about Something Something Is Its Own Reward. Gratitude or grace...or charity, maybe. Doing the decent thing is its own reward. After all, there was no stupefyingly wondrous thing that I did...it was simply the decent thing.

"The decent thing" just doesn't have a great ring to it...where's the glory in that? Or, more like, where's the ego-victory in that? There it is. There's my realization. I know from hard-earned experience that an ego-victory is not the answer...never was, never will be. It is not only not the answer, it is the trip-tik to rues, regrets and remorses.

So however, whatever, the responses are (within and without) to doing the decent thing, do it anyway.

Thank You.

REST, BELOVED EGO, YOUR WORK IS DONE

Worry not, my precious ego...fret not, for God has your back, too. You can lay down your sword and shield for your fight is over. Your reason for being, your constant concern for me that we will not get ours, is ended.

We have ours. There is no possibility that we cannot get ours for it is within us/without us...there for the using. All we need do is drop our defenses...which do not protect us, do not serve us well, will never save us from anything.

You, my beloved ego, in your efforts to care take us only block God's perfect outworking in us, through us. God's perfect outworking, God's will, is always available the instant we take that leap of faith...by using what is within us now and only now. Not tomorrow. Not when we get rid of our fear. Now. In the midst of our known and unknown fears. That is where God lives...cozied up with you, with me, with us.

Thank You.

GIVING OVER...ANOTHER OF-GOD ACTION

I've been thinking about  "the bad news is we must be willing to give over to the one we are resenting" (from my yesterday's blog). What we really need to learn is that giving over is an asset...a positive...the way to win (for the dual-minded, who still believe that win/lose is all).

Giving over requires going to God first. I personally believe that giving over from our heart, not from our heads, eyebrows up, is a spiritual act. It's the basis, the starting point, for giving up fighting anything and anybody...also a spiritual act that the reasoning mind cannot do on its own. We can do it...not fight...but can we not resent it later? Anybody can keep their mouth shut with enough incentive, but the mind?...oh yeah, there's the brain's bedbug.

So, the goal is first to accept that giving over is the desired action we want to take. But taking the necessary action is...wait for it...doing nothing. It's sitting and waiting on the Lord. It's learning how to clear our mind of clutter...by thinking of rainbows and roses, moonbeams and star-shine...and all that OMG, give-me-a-break stuff that we once put down and sneered at from on high...literally.

Giving over does not have a good rep only because it's so seldom accomplished. And those who do it don't find it necessary to brag about it...because if they're bragging about it, they're not doing it. If they're doing it, it is impossible to brag about it...that's like bragging about breathing.

Giving over is not a self-determined objective that we achieve. I'm guessing it's the ultimate in detachment...we only do it by detaching from our own selves...another of-God action.

Thank You.

RESENT...BE RESENTED

"If we are resentful, we will be resented."

There. That's the singular reason no one on this earth can afford resentments. You will be resented. Only you will not necessarily be resented by the one you are resenting...or just by that one.

That's the trouble with a resentment...it spreads like noxious oil on the water. Noxious oil or tar babies...everyone, everything your resentment touches is despoiled. It strips another's peace of mind, robs another's soul comfort...and they must pay you back.

The good news is that there are tools to use to head off, or cut off, a resentment. The bad news is we must be willing to give over to the one we are resenting.

To give over when we know know know that we are right Right RIGHT. And there's our full-blown resentment, the tar baby with which we nearly cripple ourselves by justifying its existence. And, once born, impossible to rid ourselves of by our own self-will.

The tool that works best for me is to quick say a mental "Thank You" the instant I feel slighted, disrespected, hurt...or, for that matter, complimented or admired. I just keep a "thank You" going at all times because I'm perfectly capable of taking a compliment and at two A.M. awaken to the realization that was actually a well-hidden snide remark...and I'm off, quite literally.

God is so good to me. How else would I know that the spiritual axiom, "Every time something upsets me, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with me," is true? Certainly not by my reasoning mind. But knowing that it is true, turns me in the right direction with the simple thank You.
 
God is so good to me. God is so good. God is.

Thank You.

WE MUST RAISE OUR CONSCIOUSNESS DEEPER

"Leave your nets and follow me." This was Jesus's invitation to the fishermen he found on the shore. And some did...for all I know all did. I'm just awed at the idea...leave your security, your guaranteed money-making job, and take a chance on what a person passing by has to offer.

Here's where the reasoning mind rules...because anybody with a lick of sense would know that's a non-starter...not only a non-starter, but a let's-put-a-little-distance-between-us-and-the-guy-doing-the-inviting.

It is in fourth dimension consciousness that we begin to catch a glimpse of the rightness of the invite...the realization that it is not the man doing the inviting that we are being asked to follow. It is the Me, the I Am, the Father within the man that we are invited to follow.

There are people of such raised consciousness that it shows from their face, from their very person, without their ever saying a word...and not just the likes of the Dalai Lama or Mother Teresa, but everyday people....carpenters and fishermen, prostitutes and virgins and such.

I, personally, have found very few such people in churches, but then I've found none in jails, and I have been in a few churches and also in a jail or two. Although I've been in only one jail for my own transgression, and may I say once was one time too many. But it is for our own benefit that we must seek to raise our consciousness deeper in order to recognize such people...and follow them.

Thank You.

BUILDING OUR BELIEF DEEPER

The hardest part of spiritual growth is the discipline of self, the necessary daily discipline of taking the time to practice the Presence.

It is no easy task to come to believe, but to expect to live happily every after in that certain belief is folly. It takes time just to build that belief deeper. We must develop the practice of remembering that the Father and I are one, then of proving the Father and I are one, then of showing forth the Father and I are one.

When every thought is stayed on God, then what is added unto us is of God. "Therefore, I say unto you, what things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them. [Somewhere in the Bible.]" There. That's the gold of  all the disciplining to remember, prove, show forth...but the paradox is, that if we've done it right, indeed if we are doing it right unto three days after we're dead, our only acceptable prayer is to know God aright.

We don't get to do all that disciplining so we can get money, a love or a Mercedes...we do all that disciplining to get the realization of God...which, hard as it is for the reasoning mind to grasp, is better than money, a love or a Mercedes.

Thank You.

THE WIDOW'S MITE

My friend and I were talking recently, and we agree that we'd both given more money in this election than ever we had before. I personally donated more money in this election for my side than I ever dreamed I would donate to anybody for anything...including cancer research for my Mama. (Who never had cancer...I'm just saying.) And my poor donations were as dust in the wind in comparison to the millions of dollars that billionaires poured in for their side. I am still pondering the fact that those billionaires' millions were unable to buy the election.

I'm reminded of the story in the Bible of the widow's mite. The way I remember it (which may not be the way it is written, but it's close enough), people of means were showing off their wealth in their donations to the Church, and a widow gave a penny. God was more pleased with her penny than He was with all the "for show" dollars because she gave all she had, and the others were ego donations.

Let it be known that before the election ended, I said...often...that I did not believe that God is in elections...or wars...or football games. I hear people talk about praying for their side to win in all those things, and I figure prayer is never going to hurt anybody, but I don't believe God is in any of those things. I mean, take war...can you imagine praying to God that more people die on the other side so your side can win...and God answering that prayer...by killing people?

I do, however, like to think of myself and my friend and all the other little-dollar-donators as giving the widow's mite. Whose kidding whom, any time I can believe I've done something to please God, I grab it.

Thank You.

LIVING THE GIFT OF REALIZATION

One of the hardest things for me to accept is that I am God conscious. It's been some time now since I was given the gift of realization that the Father and I are one. Yet every time I read something that I interpret as suggesting we're all a pack of slackers and we should do more each day to realize God consciousness, I feel guilty that I'm such a drag-foot.

I've read Joel Goldsmith's "Heart of Mysticism" more than once, and I'm right now reading it again. Every time I read, "I ask that each student dedicate one meditation period each day to the specific realization of the Christ," I start with the race-race, run-run mind of I shoulda, woulda, coulda, but....

I am grateful that I am given the reminder that I need to reinforce my gift of realization on a daily basis. No doubt, that's why I feel so guilty...this one will never be 100 percent God conscious 100 percent of the time for that is perfection. I aim for progress, and I'm as good as I ought to be...being me, and I thank You for the reminder.

GIVING GOD A GIGGLE

My friend is trying to save his marriage...he and his wife are going to couples counseling, he is going to a relationship counselor, has joined a boatload of prayer groups and meditation circles, does Zen mental exercises hourly, brings little giftees home to his wife daily...and those are just the things his friends know of. Self-determined objectives, every one. Each one has a hook, an effect that he wants.

Quite simply, he is going to God for the self-determined objective of having his marriage the way he wants his marriage to be, i.e., comfortable for him, without hassle to him. But it's too selfish sounding to let that be alive in his own mind, so he thinks of it as for his wife, for the sanctity of their marriage.

To outside eyes those look like the logs that are being laid as the foundation for the break-up, the divorce. They are the conscience-clearer, the "I tried my best," "I did all I could do,"  the "NOT MY FAULT."

None of the things he is doing is bad...each one is a good thing, in fact. IF he were doing them to be a better husband, to be a more loving person, to show forth God simply to show forth God. Not to get, but to give...to release self for the benefit of another.

All of this came to me this morning in meditation when I found myself trying to think of the best way to let a friend know she is wrong and I am right. A spiritual way, don't you know. Unselfish. Loving. For her own good.

Apparently I'm still believing that it is my job to give God a giggle ever so often.

Thank You.

ON THE PRAYER OF ST. FRANCIS

[The following is a reprint of a blog of mine of November 30, 2008.]

I love the prayer of St Francis, and I still tend to believe everybody does…so, I’m usually left with my mouth agape when someone says s/he doesn’t particularly care for it.

Then I recall when I first heard it…back when I knew it all, back when black humor was my favorite thing. I remember on hearing it, I said, “There’s the man I want to marry…and we can both work on putting me first.”

It occurs to me that X% of those who hear it do not like it; X% may like it but only because it sounds noble, like something God would approve of; X% who pray it get off their knees never for a minute believing it is now theirs by doing; X% who believe it is theirs, consistently fail, so stop either the praying or the believing; X% continue trying, never understanding that it is already being done through them by the Spirit within…that the minute they make it a self-determined objective, it is an ego happening, inviting the feeling of failure yet again.

The Father within doeth the works…really.

Thank You.

GO TO GOD FOR GOD...THAT IS ALL

All of us are so liable to human error that unless we have some capacity to bear with the errors of others, we will not be able to maintain a lasting relationship with anybody.... - "Words to Live By," Eknath Easwaran, November 2.

I read recently that we need to imagine all the people around us, especially the irritating people, as mini Buddhas which will pull us back from judging so harshly. I picture all those irritating people as mini mes...then I have a vested interest in understanding them, in putting their interests first...the vested interest being me, of course.

Again I remind myself that it is not the person irritating me who needs to change, nor is it fundamentally me. It is my willingness to detach from my own opinions, from my own perceptions, to divorce myself from my own wants that I need to cultivate.  Thinking about which of my defects I need to change...asking God to change for me...is just going down that wrong road again, and calling it spiritual work.

Go to God for God. That is all. God knows my questions and how to answer them in the best possible way for me, personally. Go to God for God, and let my answers be revealed...the questions are irrelevant.

Thank You.

I AM OPEN

For this day, I am grateful that I am open to God and grace and growth.

Thank You.

GOD KNOWS THE PERFECT PATH

BFO: Seek the Cause, not the effect.

The peace that passes understanding can only come when we quit seeking the effect of peace and await our awakening to the cause of peace, God. Our awakening cannot come through the intellect.

Peace does not necessarily mean happiness. I was not happy about being given the care of the IRS, but I was at peace with it from the git-go. If I could have passed on it, however, I surely would have...and would have missed the greatest gift.

I believe it was my being at peace that upgraded my attitude to gratitude and opened me to the spiritual gifts that taking care of the IRS gave me...one of which was freedom from fear of financial insecurity which freedom is with me now, nearly 30 years later.

God does know the perfect path for me...my job is to not try to second guess It.

Thank You.

OUR OWN RETURNS TO US...REPEATEDLY

There are two people in my life who are giving me pause. It's like befriending a porcupine who is always on high alert...quills extended. I don't always feel like I must walk on eggshells with them, it's that I never know when I should have walked on eggshells. One explodes, the other implodes...and I split.

This happens once a year at most, so it's no biggie...except when it is. And it is today. So my old mind is setting 'em straight...drilling 'em on their spiritual growth. And I'm reading my "God Calling," this morning. There, in my handwriting, dated 1988, is my note to me: "I cannot take a joke...poor sport." Which, may I say, are my exact "setting 'em straight" words in my head to the two.

Cracked me up. Once again, I am reminded: "If you can spot it, you got it" does not apply to others only.

Thank You.