Walking this "negative faith" that I'm now experiencing is the test...here's me thinking that coming to believe in it was the hard part. It wasn't easy, but it was a cakewalk compared to living it. The last two days of my walking it is my confirmation...meaning that nothing was "going my way."
The good news is I pray my thank you with every less-than breath I take...the equally good news is I smile at my disgruntled feeling as I pray thank you.
What we tend to forget or discount is the material mind...it is always with us, is always ready to forge ahead with or without our consent. Not resisting it is the spiritual stumper-lesson.
Yesterday, I had the equivalent of a Bad Day at Black Rock, the events of which I shared with a friend, and touched it no more. Went to bed, slept very well, awoke this morning feeling fine. Got up, and every step I took, every move I made seemed to be a foreordained misstep.
Never forgetting my thank you, I did take a timeout to ponder if I might be into self-will, or if this is the higher level of consciousness that I recently realized.
I recalled Fr Richard saying, We don't get to God by doing it right, we get to God by doing it wrong, and I was peaced...primarily because I saw all my so-called wrongs were gifts. Gifts for my spiritual growth...just another necessary lesson learned.
New adage: We don't get lessons learned all sugar-coated and wrapped in rainbows. That comes later...wrapped in spiritual reality when we're doing it right.
God's will, God's way needs no sugarcoat...peace as reality comes with a smile.
Thank you.
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