There is an inner resource within us/without us...unseeable, untouchable, unbelievable until necessary suffering visits us, and unwilling but grateful we are brought to belief.
By its very nature, that inner resource is primarily reliant on necessary suffering to break through...ah, but our holdback is that inner resource is primarily reliant on necessary suffering to break through.
Comes a blinding flash: Necessary suffering is that that which we avoid, deny, fear, yet it is only by relying on it that our inner resource lives.
My necessary suffering today is a sense of heavy, heavy over my head. I am feeling weak, deficient, dependent and alone...wavering. My long-ago fear of a mental breakdown is tickling my bones, and I admit I am utterly powerless to my favorite fear of being left all alone.
It is important to emphasize that I do not fear being alone...I prefer it. It is being left all alone that I fear...that is death's disguise, her "gotcha."
The meek shall inherit the earth. The weak shall inherit God's strength as, utterly reliant, we fearfully strut our stuff...with angels hovering and God as our guide. Feel the fear and do it anyway is not just a saying.
I walk with God...He knows my name...I am grateful. Please, thank You, Amen.
Thank you.
No comments:
Post a Comment