NOT BY WILL BUT BY GRACE

We are created with an inner drive and necessity that sends all of us looking for our True Self, our true home, whether we know it or not....God creates the very dissatisfaction that only grace and finally divine love can satisfy. -- Fr Richard Rohr, Daily Meditations, May 9, 2024

We find living primarily by spiritual principles can lead us to deeper spiritual growth than we ever dreamed of...or wanted for that matter. Who's kidding whom...we learn, if we're doing it right, to give over, give up and give in not by will but by grace. 

There's the beginning of our test run...the test being, how ready are we really to live our life by our major spiritual principle, namely, agree with your adversary quickly. 

That is one steep climb which we will fail often. Ah, but the test is not to ace it and forget it, the test is to live it until three days after we are dead...if that be God's will. 

Expect to fail...welcome failure...for that is how to shuck our shields, the way to let go and let God.

Again from Fr Richard: We don't get to God by doing it right, we get to God by doing it wrong...which, according to me, is the open secret of living by spiritual principles...the willingness to show our bum in public. And that can never be done intentionally (looking for a shortcut to spiritual growth)...that's just another self-determined objective. 

Inadvertently we show our bum in public and, from our toenails up, feel the burn of personal humiliation, accepting without resistance the sneers and snarks...real or imagined...of others. 

That is still more spiritual growth. That is the by-product of looking for our True Self, our true home, whether we know it or not....God creates the very dissatisfaction that only grace and finally divine love can satisfy.

Thank you. 

RESIST NOT, WELCOME GLADLY

It is permissible to take life's blessings with both hands provided thou dost know thyself prepared in the opposite event to take them just as gladly. This applies to food and friends and kindred, to anything God gives and takes away...As long as God is satisfied do thou rest content. If he is pleased to want something else of thee, still rest content. -- Meister Eckhart   

Our best hope prayed for, or our worst fear received, we recall and rest in Meister Eckhart's advice as the answer.

God's will, God's way is the quiet word for living and being happy, joyous and free.   

Thank you.

THE TRACKS OF OUR TEARS LEAD TO GOD

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. —Matthew 5:4 

Here it is, June 28, 2024, the morning after the Biden-Trump debate. The debate that right now seems like a debacle to some, like manna from Heaven to others. 

One of my daily readings is all about those who are blessed by their mourning. By my own life experience, I know that to be true. 

I have the incurable disease of alcoholism...I am 52+ years sober. The day before I took the first step toward recovery, I knew God did not know my name. I knew there was no hope for me and my life. I  received the Gift Of Despair as I virtually crashed and burned.

The day I took the first step toward recovery I lost my thirst for alcohol...I have never had a desire for it since. Since that day, the God of my own understanding has lived within me, guided me, and when I messed up, corrected me. I have come to realize love for pets and humans...in that order.

It has taken every one of my sober years to realize that I've only just begun...and that is the good news.

Whenever less-than-wonderful comes visiting, my go-to reminder is, if alcoholism can be a good thing, and it is to me today, then so can this be. And so it becomes.

Last night's debate happened exactly as it needed to happen for the benefit of all...for the best to come out of hiding and march us forward. 

Joe Biden may grow hair and roller-skate down Pennsylvania Avenue on January 20, 2025. 

With God, all things are possible, some are just less probable than others. More likely and probable: Another person, just not a bald-faced lying convicted felon, will walk down The Avenue on January 20.

I look forward to praising God in gratitude for the good, decent and honest people America has to turn to in these times of trial. 

Thank you. 

WE CAN TRUST GOD SO WE TRUST GOD

According to the Talmud, every blade of grass has its own angel bending over it, whispering, 'Grow, grow.'

It seems that quote comes to me as needed, and I'm usually surprised...but always welcoming. I can sense my angel bending over me now whispering words of encouragement. 

This I choose to believe, because it is what I have been led to believe for the last 50+ years, I can trust God who has me and my foibles well in hand...every single glitch and pitch is of God and for my benefit...especially the scary ones, the ones that feel like my mind is going on a walk-about, leaving me all alone and so lonely, unloved, unneeded, unwanted and unappreciated...my well-known and acknowledged primary self-centered fears. -- possibly from an older post, possibly a blinding flash from my journal

There...proof that my angel is always with me. I wrote that paragraph previously, and apparently, it is what Nervous Nelly who shares space with the Father within needs now for, unbidden, there it is. I am sure those words were important to me when I first wrote them, but they feel vitally important to me right now. 

The vitally important words right now: I can trust God.

Our Father knows our needs. I say that a lot...then when the fact is proven, I try to explain it. To make material mind sense of a spiritual mind gift is to deny the spiritual gift. So, I'll not try, I'll gratefully accept that I know, and I know that I know...I trust God.

Thank you. 

A PERSONAL PERSPECTIVE, I

[The following is a reprint of my post of June 10, 2019...I am tempted to change the title to "When Will We Ever Learn?"]\

Hearing of the draconian laws being put forth in re abortion, I wonder...is there any law opposing abortion that penalizes the male for impregnating the woman? As the female is penalized for being impregnated?

Is there a law even being suggested that requires the male to take lifetime responsibility for his part in the pregnancy? That shames the male for his part in it? Or that requires a lifetime of care...medical, mental, physical...of the child? Or, for that matter, to years of monetary care for the child?

What comparative law could there be to the one being suggested (in Georgia, I believe) where any woman requesting an abortion must submit to a medically unnecessary vaginal exam?

I do not advocate for or against abortion. I do advocate for the woman's right to choose especially since the woman is the sole party held responsible for the outcome. It seems that legislators, at one time all male still majority male, have never held the man to account with regard to a child...born or unborn. Woman's work, don'cha know.

As is often said, if you find a turtle on a fence post, you know it did not get there alone.

Thank you.

WE MAY BE...WE CAN BE...THAT WILLING SOUL

When there is something that is wrong and we know it and we can see exactly what it is that is wrong and we try to fix it and it does not fix and we try again, harder, and it stays unfixed...we are looking in the wrong direction. We are looking out there... at the problem. Look within. To the solution, spiritual principles. All spiritual principles are within us, have always been there, will be there three days after we are dead...and 1,000 years after the world as we know it is no more, spiritual principles will be in the ether...waiting to be realized and released by a willing Soul once again. -- Slightly reworked blinding flash of the obvious originally posted February 9, 2017

GOD'S ALL IN ALL: THE WEE SMALL & GREAT GIFT

The way we can tell our tears have cleansed us is that afterwards we don’t need to blame anybody, even ourselves. It’s an utter transformation and cleansing of the soul, and we know it came from God. --  Fr Richard Rohr on grief in today's Daily Meditation

When we ponder that, specifically an utter transformation and cleansing of the soul, we realize that describes the liminal space between owning our deepest shame and sharing that secret shame with a like other. And we are gifted with further proof that spiritual growth is basically counterintuitive. 

At one time our search was for permanent peace of mind. We were well into spiritual work before we flashed that permanent peace of mind is a denial of God. Why would we need God when we have permanent peace? 

The blessing then is an ephemeral knowledge of God is God's all in all...an utter transformation and cleansing of the soul. Blink and we've missed it...which only sends us deeper. 

Everything is God's gift when we are willing for it to be. 

Thank you.

ON RECEIVING THE GRACE OF GOD

In growing psychologically, one moves toward increasing autonomy and independence. In growing spiritually, one increasingly realizes how utterly dependent one is, on God and on the grace of God that comes through other people. —Gerald May 

There it is...my eye-opening truth: How increasingly and utterly dependent I am on the grace of God that comes through other people. That deeper truth comes when the blinders fall from our eyes. 

We begin to see that mostly the "other people" from whom God's grace comes are those we have never had a desire to really know...some we've seen as "jerks," others as just "wrong." When we see it is not that they are wrong, we can accept it is our view of them that is not right...is not of God, plain and simple. 

My daily reader, God Calling, comes to my aid yet again. Here's today's reading in its entirety: Go forward fearlessly...Do not think about the Red Sea that lies ahead....Be very sure that when you come to it, the waters will part and you will pass over to your promised land of freedom. 

Every June 22 when I read that, I want to hang a copy of it on my bathroom mirror...but by June 23 I've forgotten...or maybe I've moved on...that sounds better. There...that is growing psychologically with not a lick of spiritual growth in it. It is to love and laugh.

Thank you.

REDEMPTIVE SUFFERING...SPIRITUAL IN NATURE

That which we fear we cause to happen. (I have no idea if that was a blinding flash of the obvious or a quote from someone. I had written it in my God Calling, so I Googled it and found no claim. It makes no never mind, it is my walking-around truth.) 

Martin Luther King, Jr.'s definition of that which we fear translates to redemptive suffering...or almost anything that happens to us may be woven into the purposes of God.

The gist of that was my gift nearly 50 years ago when anxiety was riding me daily. In a moment of terror, a blink, I knew that I needed to let it be, that I would never be able to stop it, that I needed to accept it as mine. That is the panacea for free-floating fear...feel it from our nose to our toes even as it is being woven into the purposes of God.

From that moment of realizing anxiety as spiritual in nature, fear has worked for me. It has not been lifted from me as I wished, no...but my anxiety experience has become one of the most helpful things I pass on to others in need...in fear.   

The full quote of MLK, Jr. is ours to stand on: You must honestly confront your shattered dream [or fear]. To follow the escapist method of attempting to put the disappointment out of your mind will lead to a psychologically injurious repression. Place your [fear] at the forefront of your mind and stare daringly at it. Ask yourself, 'How may I transform this liability into an asset? How may I, confined in some narrow Roman cell and unable to reach life’s Spain, transmute this dungeon of shame into a haven of redemptive suffering?' Almost anything that happens to us may be woven into the purposes of God. It may lengthen our cords of sympathy. It may break our self-centered pride. The cross, which was willed by wicked men, was woven by God into the tapestry of world redemption. 

Thank you.

OUR INVITATION IS OUR WORKS

...the beginning levels of our consciousness are dualistic, while the later or deeper levels are non-dual and unitive. The only way to move from stage to stage is basically by some form of wounding, failure, or darkness. -- Fr Richard Rohr, Daily Meditation, June 20, 2024

That thought explains so much...nothing new, but it sure is an ain't that the truth! We have come to experience this but having an "authority" set it out in black-and-white commands respect...or thank you. 

That gives a deeper understanding...forgiveness, if you will...to our early years, when we had just begun to seek spiritual growth, and pretty much beat up on our self daily for "doing it wrong." In essence, for not having fully mature spiritual insight upon first wanting it. It is to love and laugh.

Fr Richard's post continues: Indeed, the goal of mature religion is to help us die before we die: die to our small or passing self so we can discover our Big Self.

That is the open secret of why we can, will and must continue to stumble, misspeak, show our bum in public. In our world, this is known as killing the ego by inviting our Higher Power to live within us/without us. Our invitation is our works...what we do imperfectly for others even with the Higher Self as our guide.

Whether we know it or not, our life today is dying to the small self so we can discover our Big Self. 

Thank you.

SLOW MOVING IS GOD'S WILL, GOD'S WAY

It is not what is said to me, it is how I choose to hear it that defines my emotional life. -- note from my journal

Spiritual growth often comes unbidden and, more often than not, resisted...resisted as it turns us away from our known self to the unknown...the Self within.

To the strictly self-aware...think from birth to late teen years...we are spiritually unaware, unprepared, material minded. No wonder that how we hear defines us...when self is our center, self is our reliance.

As our consciousness begins to open for the benefit of others, to the wants and needs of others, our search for spiritual growth takes root. That realization blooms slowly...for which we will become grateful.

The slow-moving spiritual growth that we had prayed would hurry it up so we could quick get to sainthood is God going before us to make the crooked places straight.

Our awakening is born in that slow-moving spiritual growth when we realize that is God's will, God's way. 

Thank you.

THE READY INTERVENTION OF GOD, I

[The following is a reprint of my post of June 18, 2019]

In a casual conversation recently, I repeated an old fantasy of mine (I repeated a lie). I thought nothing at all about telling it for it had been one of the many fantasy stories I had told for most of my adult life...in fact, I told it until I realized it was nothing but a fantasy. Apparently, it had been my wished-for truth.

Later that evening when I remembered the conversation, I was a tish taken back that I'd told the story for I'd gotten clear of it some time back...I'd told myself.

Ah, and here came a blinding flash of the obvious to save my day: We must needs repeat, rererepeat, our prettied up crap to become reconciled with it as a part of us...to love and laugh about it within and without. If it were, as we wish, lifted out without work and more work on our part, there would be no spiritual growth.

For what it's worth, and strictly according to me, in repeating my fantasy, I was "doing it right." That was the God of my understanding staying my subconscious egoic need for control which still more spiritual growth subverts. It was my initial despondency when I recognized that I had repeated the lie that let the BFO out. As long as the lie stayed covered up inside, I could fool myself that it did not exist. All the while it was playing shame-and-blame with me, pulling me down away from love and laughter.

There. Proof that God can, will and does intervene in our life in our behalf.

Thank you

SEEK NOT TO KNOW, SEEK TO INNER GROW

Blinding flash of the obvious: We can be physically moved by our own higher consciousness...not only spiritually but, physically...quite literally. 

When that BFO first popped, I was flummoxed...then the image of Jesus walking on water came to me, and I got it. That opened me to raised consciousness at a deeper level in our daily living. 

What we see and hear is determined by our natural self...which is our opinion about what is appearing. Our opinion is all that our material world is...our interpretation as determined by natural self, led by egoic mind.

Our ego interprets as "wrong" anything and anytime we do not show well, better than, etc. Higher consciousness overrides our interpretation of the dailies as determined by our egoic wants, ever masquerading as needs.

Experiencing life with no judgmental opinion is spiritual in nature, not of self but of God.

We grow not by knowing or understanding, but only by loving and trusting. -- Fr Richard Rohr, Daily Meditation, June 17, 2024

Thank you.

LIFE'S GO-TO PLAN FOR ANGELS UNAWARE

Morning blinding flash of the obvious: That which I seek from God I must give to my enemy.

That BFO was from 2017...I came across it and realized it needs to go a tish further, as in: That which I seek from God I must give to my enemy without conscious thought or effort.

When we do the next thing in our daily life sans overwrought conscious thought or preplanning, we are living God's will, God's way. It is thinking and planning for a desired outcome that ties us to the material mind.

The hard lesson to learn is this does not preclude our being wrong...which is just what we are trying so hard to avoid. Yet, as Fr Richard Rohr has written, We don't get to God by doing it right, we get to God by doing it wrong. I doubt that is going to be taken from us when, apparently, that's life's go-to plan.

To realize the spiritual nature of accepting not being released from the fear of being wrong is to live with God unconsciously. We are richly blessed whether we know it or not...angels unaware. 

Thank you.

I WONDER.... REPRISED

[The following is a slightly reworked reprint of my post of June 26, 2012.]

Who was I before I was hurt?

How do I become that whole me again?

How do I shuck my shields?

Why can't I shuck my shields at will?...or can I?

Is it a matter of will?...or of grace? 

Is it my choice?...or am I chosen?

If one is chosen, aren’t we all chosen?

If Truth, to be true, must be proved, and cannot be proved by sheer will, how does one prove Truth without an act of will?

Is it as simple as making the decision?

When did making the decision become simple? 

The answer to the last question:  Making the decision became simple when I turned my life and my will over to the care of God, and I do live there the majority of the time.

Thank you.

OUR THANK YOU FULFILLS OUR NEED

Blinding flash of the obvious: Waste no effort on 'how to'...with our silent 'thank you,' the need is fulfilled.

My BFO made me realize again the importance of not specifying our thank you. To specify that for which we are thankful is just another ask masquerading as prayer. Recently, it seems that a lot of just passing thoughts turn up shortly thereafter as a blessing. I say thank you.

We leave the need to God in trust...our want may be a periphery of God's need for us to be met as an add-on. We look below every "met" want...God's gold is ever deeper.

Example: Thank you for keeping me out of this afternoon's meeting which is bound to be a brouhaha. God's will may be for me to be his voice in that meeting. We can go to the meeting peaced by our thank you, the assurance that God's will, God's way is ever flowing for our benefit, with or without our knowledge.

To ponder: It may be that is raised consciousness...everything we need is available to us just by our thought for it, and only God knows how it needs to come to us, ergo, necessary suffering.

He goes before us to make the crooked places straight.

Thank you.

SPIRITUAL NEED LEADS US ARIGHT

Blinding flash of the obvious: To seek self-acceptance is to deny Self acceptance.

When we are stayed in the study of self, thinking we are seeking still more spiritual growth, we are living for the benefit of self. 

One of the first things we hear (and ignore) when we begin our spiritual journey is, We go to God for God and that is all. Ah, but it appears to be one of the last things our inner ear hears (and welcomes).

As we begin our growth deeper into the spiritual, the need for self-acceptance is often nattering in our ear. Actually, lack of self-acceptance is the word ego is preaching. Nothing seems to attract us like our belief that we need to study our self more. Self-examination is necessary...our material mind is not our enemy, it's just not the power we want it to be. 

According to me, fear lives in the egoic mind which tells our reasoning mind that we must shuck fear. No. Accepting that nothing turns us to God faster than fear, we hug it, we kiss it...we resist it not. 

The big reveal is that our spiritual need will lead us aright...our material mind will follow, our egoic mind will resist, and we pray thank you for our unselfed ear. 

Thank you.

A WANT vs. A NEED...OUR WILL vs. GOD'S WILL

Our biggest secrets and desires are only revealed to others, and even discovered by ourselves, in the presence of sorrow, failure, need, when we are very vulnerable, and when we feel entirely safe in the arms of love.  -- Fr Richard Rohr, Daily Meditation, June 12, 2024

According to me, the biggest, deepest secret in life is just this: That which we fear births our ticket to ride...to ride to freedom from self.

Ah, but the ride is the key, and that marks the difference between a want and a need. A want is ego-driven, and we can go to our grave trying to get it; a need is of God. always granted, but only after we have failed...usually repeatedly.

That space between a want and a need is our secular want becoming our spiritual need. It is painful, it is not ours to do, it is ours to receive. There is the source of our pain: Trying to get...that which is already ours.

We can know that from our eyebrows up, which does not do a lick of good until we experience it through our own spiritual awakening...God's will, God's way, God's time.

We go to God for God and that is all.

Thank you.

FEAR NOT...LOVE, LAUGH, LIVE!

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies....Psalm 23:5 

The 23rd Psalm has led me...is always leading me...from reliance on my reasoning mind to opening to the nature of spiritual growth...to the realization that spiritual growth is counterintuitive or it isn't spiritual growth.

It was the quoted sentence above that opened a window in my obtuseness. Relying on reasoning mind, who would want a table in the presence of their enemies? But the Father and I are one...we prepare the table...mine enemies are invited guests...here for our benefit.  

That awakening led me to ponder the very first words of the 23rd Psalm, The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.  

The words I shall not want give away the turn we need to make to fully understand the message of the Psalm. With the Lord, we want not for we have enough, we will never not have enough. That is Truth, a true belief, not an I sure hope so belief.

It is that true belief that lets us dine at a table in the presence of our enemies, comfortably. 

The most enlightening, according to me:  Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Expand that: Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of fear...fear of dementia, fear of being unwanted, unneeded, unloved, unappreciated...and the big one: Fear of Being Left All Alone. 

We can fear not, for God is ever with us, within us. Fear of dementia...God cannot forget, rely on that; fear of being unloved...God is love, rely on that; fear of being left all alone...God lives within us, rely on that.

That's not all...we are comforted by thy rod and thy staff for in the end, they bring us love and laughter, the source of all light. 

There...home free.

Thank you.

RESISTING EVIL INVITES EVIL...PRAY THANK YOU

But grounded in us is an inner peace that is not dependent on the ability to overcome the hurtful thing [the "thorn"]. *** The thorn is the teacher, the place where it isn’t looking good....  -- from James Finley, Fr Richard's Daily Meditation, June 7, 2024

I am always gobsmacked when I stumble on proof that some former blinding flash of the obvious is a Truth. For instance, some years back, this BFO came to me: Nothing turns me to God faster than fear....which was an inner gift and is today the root of my continuing spiritual growth. Our want to have removed anything we fear is now a need to welcome our fear with thank you.  

I no longer dread my free-floating anxieties...that which I once prayed really hard for God to remove...I turn to God with my thank you and keep on truckin'.

Boiled down, that lesson opened my inner door deeper to the hallowed resist not evil. 

The spiritual realization that resisting evil invites evil is the pearl beyond price. Whatever we are feeling resistance toward...a person, a health issue, a news item...welcome it with thank you and breathe freer.

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. -- 2 Corinthians 12:9

Thank you.

WHEN, NOT IF, WE LOSE, WE WIN

Every time the slippage into thoughts other than [the spiritual change we seek] occurs, it’s a graced opportunity to circle back around to God being in love with us in our inability to do this. -- Fr Richard's Daily Meditation, June 8, 2024

That quote describes the gift that comes from our instruction, when wrong promptly admit it. (My preference is when. not if, wrong promptly admit it.) 

Left to our own thinking, "when wrong" leaves us with the decision of when is it when and not if? That's not personal, that's the human condition. 

Most of us just walking around folks sincerely want to do the next right thing. It is, however, really difficult to accept that the next right thing might not be what we have in mind. Face it, you, the other, may be right...more to the point, we may be wrong.

This is the spiritual turning point in relationships, according to me. This is the point where the God of our understanding gives over, gives up, gives in...for the benefit of all. All sides come out the winner...or,  God wins again, and we are happy about it.

God's hand is in it when we each lose yet each knows by losing we have won...and that we have been changed for the better.

Thank you.

NECESSARY SUFFERING...LOVE IT AND LAUGH

We do not know how His plans are laid, we only need to believe that if we trust Him and accept whatever happens as His will and in a spirit of faith, everything will work out for the best in the end. -- Anonymous

I had a busy mind last night...for too long my mind went nattering about a projected problem. This came just hours after I flashed on God's power for good always accessible through my thoughts which realization simply folded at 3:00 AM. Flew away and left me wrestling with my fear. My fear of an unhappening...it has not arrived, may never get here, yet it held all power over my thoughts.

The topper is the subject of the unhappening was my maid service...it wasn't even about the questionable survival of democracy or Ukraine or even a close friend.  

If this is the sort of vaunted necessary suffering that I have chosen for me, I need an upgrade to my idea of spiritual suffering. Not to mention, His will for me.

Here's me, when first I learned of necessary suffering: It would be akin to the crucifixion and would I hold up under it? Apparently, to my thinking, no maid service is comparable to a death sentence. Now that is to love and laugh.

God loves me so much that he allows me to see me. He holds the mirror, I pray thank you, and in a spirit of faith, I have joyful thoughts.

Thank you.

SELF-ACCEPTANCE AND EXAGGERATING

Biblical messages often proceed from historical incidents, but the actual message is independent of communicating those events with perfect factual accuracy. Any good writer knows that! 

That quote is boiled down from a lengthy paragraph in Fr Richard's Daily Meditation of January 10, 2017. The paragraph was about learning spiritual truths (a.k.a., midrash) for our own understanding. It ended with: Midrash allowed and encouraged each listener to grow with a text and not to settle for mere literalism, which of itself bears very little spiritual fruit.

Words cannot convey how happy I was when first I read those words. I felt like the caged bird, released...free to fly! 

See, I exaggerate. According to me, literal truth can be wholly spoken in less than two minutes and still have folks yawning. 

I do not think it out...it is just that when I share something I saw, thought, heard, I just open my mouth and whatever thought is sitting there pops out dressed in diamonds and pearls or mud and less than mud. Just not literal truth.

About the quote, the sentence that meant the most to me...big surprise...was the one justifying less than perfect factual accuracy, specifically when followed by, Any good writer knows that!  Oh my yes!, and yes again!

Notice the date was from Fr Richard's post in 2017. I saved it along with my words, "Brian Williams and I?" 

That was back when Williams was demoted for exaggerating his reports. Before the hammer fell on him, I recall thinking his reporting was enhanced by his telling, but apparently, some rigid, righteous and right folks were less than impressed. Not to parade my prejudice.

When I began this post, I was thinking about self-acceptance...specifically, accepting our less-than ways. Exaggerating is probably one of mine, but I'm good with it. There was a time, when being perfect was a goal, that I tried...really hard...to speak literal truth or not at all. The only thing that came from that was my feeling like a failure...again. 

I talked with God about it...he got a good laugh, and I got free. She exaggerated.

Thank you.

LOVE THE MAJORITY OF THE TIME

I am told that the Sermon on the Mount--the essence of Jesus' teaching--is the least quoted in official Catholic Church documents.  -- Fr Richard's Daily Meditation, May 25, 2016

Considering how often in my early years I turned away from the Sermon, the least quoted fact is not surprising to me. 

My spiritual guidebook has become the Sermon on the Mount from the King James version of the Bible (chosen on purpose, the hardest-to-understand version for me). There are many versions of the Sermon, each one a tish softer than the previous one. For me, softer is not better just easier.

Early on the Sermon was anathema to me. My unchartered and wary mind took it as the words of a moralistic poohbah. I had to lay down my mental sword and shield and pray thank you...a lot...before my resistance to Jesus then to his Sermon would give an inch. Hard times...entirely self-determined times. 

The good news is that when we keep returning to the Sermon, searching for we know not what...we will be lifted up to the underlying message. We will be living that underlying message for some time before we can recognize, then accept, then welcome the changes in us. That comes most often when, at peace, we are looking back.

My attempts at living the Sermon have been my earthbound spiritual education...learning that the majority of the time is 51 percent for instance. Before spiritual growth became a necessity to me, 100 percent was the only acceptable measure of anything...so I did nothing. 

Today, I aim as high as it is reasonable for me to expect to go at that time; I like to aim for 100 percent, with 75-80 percent being respectable. Often 51 percent is close enough to perfect for me and hitting anything above 51 percent is not shabby. 

That may be the essence of my spiritual growth...I have learned to love me and thee imperfectly the majority of the time...which is perfectly acceptable to me and the God of my understanding.

Thank you.

ACCEPTANCE...COUNTERINTUITIVE GRACE

Life is a series of ups and downs. Long-time learning, hard-time accepting: The ups bring giggles and grins, high fives and praise...the downs bring the pain of resistant acceptance, or our counterintuitive moments of grace.

The worst-case scenario answer produced by our reasoning mind explains why it takes so long to reach acceptance. Face it, worst-case scenario is not a conscious thought we welcome.

Though we know acceptance is the always answer, we tend to forget that it seldom arrives looking good...but grace lives in our dreaded inability to think of a solution to our problem. 

We are raised into a deeper consciousness by the hopeless, helpless, powerlessness of that moment when try-with-a-will stops cold and thought just gives up. 

In the vernacular, we crash and burn...spiritually, we are graced into higher consciousness.

We go beyond reason to love, to God...and find green pastures, still waters, peace. 

Thank you.

ON ACCEPTING THE PERSONAL REALITY OF GOD

Blinding flash of the obvious: It is not giving love that we fear, it is getting love that we resist.

This is not new news to me, but it feels truer. I need not ponder this...though no doubt I will...I do need to inner accept the truth of it. 

Letting my thoughts ramble: There is no sense of responsibility in giving love...what is better than the feeling of new love, secret, cuddled in our heart and head. Whether it is love of a new pet, a new flower garden, a new lover...new, unknown to any but our own self...too early to spread the word. 

We may have no feeling of responsibility in the giving, but the getting, or more to the point accepting, love...uh-oh. Go slow.

In our daily search for still more spiritual growth, we have a whole 'nother level of getting. accepting, love. Accepting the love of God is no easy-peasy matter...well, it is, it is the human condition that complicates it.     

For many, accepting the reality of God...God, also known as Love...is an uphill slog. It feels less risky not believing than opening our self to the existence of an invisible God. Especially an invisible God that, it is said, wants only the best for us when His "best" seems a tish dicey to the naked self.

These are sacred thoughts whether we grasp that or not. They may seem to be just words right now, but they are in the birth canal. 

We are awakening...still groggy but aware. We let it be. 

Thank you.

NOT BY ME BUT BY GOD, I

[The following is a reprint of my November 3, 2020, post.]

Blinding flash of the obvious: My need is to realize my trust in God is already built...and not by me but by God.

Our mind ceases its endless desire to be better, do more, know gentler. We rest knowing more deeply that all rues, regrets and remorses are of the ego. When accepted in faith, regrets become opportunities to trust our Father within has done the work.

We are freed from the fret of whether we "did it right" or "did it wrong" for our Father has already righted us as we walk in the perfect outcome...trust.

....the Father that dwelleth in me, he doeth the works. -- John 14:10

Thank you.

LEAN ON THE LORD...THAT IS ENOUGH

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. -- Psalm 23.1

There it is. The answer to our ever-sought-after but slowly realized peace of mind. 

I shall not want...I have enough. Enough. I shall never not have enough. 

I shall not want...I have enough for the Lord is my shepherd, my Supplier, my Supply.  

I shall not want...never again need my thoughts toy with more, the anguished cry of the self-reliant for whom God is not enough.

We shall not want...we shall never have more than enough for we pass more than on...we have enough. 

The Lord is our shepherd, we shall not want. 

Thank you.