Those of us seeking still more spiritual growth find our biggest block is our self-determined seeking, ever seeking.
But when we try to live up to the impossible image of a spiritually enlightened, knowledgeable, selfless, patient, forgiving, easy-going, supportive, generous superhuman, the dark side of our nature just gains in power. To quote Rohr.
Comes a blinding flash of the obvious: Permanent fixes are of the reasoning mind. There is no God in tomorrow, no God in yesterday...there is only God here and now in our moment of need. Ah, but there is never a moment we are not in need.
We see a defect du jour and set about having this less-than-wonderful spot on our character fixed, removed, improved...changed in whatever manner God chooses (with our guidance). That's a self-determined objective born again...with a full head of hair.
At some point and after years of owning good spiritual intentions...lightbulb! Comes the realization that we can, we are invited to, accept ourself in toto...warts, snark, victim and petty plus kind, considerate, loveable and generous.
Just as the bondage of self is not lifted in one fell swoop, neither is any other character trait...the ugly is transmuted by love and laughter into acceptance. Same goes for our not-ugly only our reasoning mind balks at acceptance for fear that we're being conceited...ah, love and laugh.
Our minds are being changed by God: We are learning that acceptance of self does not bring peace of mind and joy forever. No. Acceptance of self is in the moment...in the moment of self-satisfied: Whoa, my Mean Girl is still alive and breathing fire...in the moment of self-hate: Oh, wait...I am a kind and considerate person, loving and loved.
Again and yet again: Permanent fixes are of the reasoning mind. There is no God in tomorrow, no God in yesterday...there is only God here and now. Get grateful.
Thank you.
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