I'm realizing the proof of the value of my endless notes to myself in my daily readers.
This morning I found my "God Calling" note for this day last year regarding the first diagnosed signs of my little guy's doggie dementia. He had to spend the night in the emergency hospital, which I had totally forgotten about, and I now recall telling the vet about several unexplained, seemingly unimportant, things he had done that helped lead her to the diagnosis. I returned him to God on April 18, 2018.
This is important to me because recently I have been relying on my unreliable memory and suffering rues, regrets and remorses, because my memory is that he was diagnosed with cognitive disorder and a heartbeat later I shipped him Home...way too soon.
The more I relied on faulty memories, the more my ego, Lucy With The Football, nattered in me, and the more certain her voice became.
Ah, here comes God to save the day!
I am a believer that the Father, who knows my needs, guided me in writing those notes because he knew I'd be needing them later. The pearl beyond price is the Father also knows Lucy and her persuasive voice...her voice is louder but his voice is truer. Louder never will mean better.
I don't fight her, old Lucy, not only because I invariably lose, but fighting her just gives me permission to fight another something or someone. I have given up fighting, so I let God deal with her. See how perfectly he made an end run around her?
I know this morning (again) that I made the right, the only, decision for my boy, in the exactly right time. He is gratefully bounding around Heaven all day. And I miss him still.
God is so good to me. And to Ruckus.
Thank you.
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