EGO DEMANDS vs. GOD'S WILL

I was told at the very first retreat I ever attended that truth must be proved. I had just begun to understand that Truth, with a capital T, was not precisely the same as the truth we need tell when we'd rather CYA...as in, blame, shame and split.

My understanding is that Truth must be proved else we are into magic thinking. The measure of the Truth we have proved is demonstrated by our life and how we live it, not by our thinking it so or by telling others it is so...if any telling need be done, others tell us it is so by what they see in us.

It seems to me that proving Truth pretty much boils down to going against our ego's dictates...those wants of ours that are self-based and usually all dressed up, looking spiffy (which to ego is spiritual growth or close enough).

Recently my frenemy Gertrude made an unwanted demand of me...already we know where I'm going here. I had the devil's own time divorcing myself from my instant decision to set her straight, to do the exact opposite, to flip her the bird,  to split, saying nothing but never ever going near her again.  All that in a heartbeat.

End result, after some arm-wrestling with God, I did what Gertrude demanded without hassling her, which means without giving Lucy airtime.

Here's the surprising punchline: I've found myself belittling my efforts. Thinking because I didn't immediately soar above Lucy's demands...or not have had them to begin with...that there was no positive here or the result was negligible.

As I went into my quiet time this morning, I was gifted with the thought of Saint Paul saying (something like) don't hassle yourself with self-described uglies, think on the good; there's nothing not wonderful in your life that doesn't have some good in it...find the good and think on those things.

I'm taking that as permission to realize my decision to turn from Lucy's wants (the dross) to God's will (the gold) as proof of Truth in my life.

I pray that my life may be a demonstration of what the grace of God can do. -- Anonymous

Thank you.