How wonderful it is to find these notes scattered in my books. I get to see myself as I was then and ponder how I am...how I feel about me...today. I felt graced when I read that note. That I had the barest glimmer that "this" may be the way of God fills my heart with joy. That I might be "doing it right" was very, very far from my personal prayers...which, obviously, were based on how I thought I looked.
Even better, this may be my personal Rosetta Stone.This is evidence of my first entertaining the possibility that the way I am just might be God's will for me. I had started on the path toward self-acceptance...heading in the right direction.
I have long held that self-acceptance is the first baby step toward spiritual growth. According to me, self-acceptance is to accept myself just as I stand with all my warts, blemishes, tongue-tied and tarnished and without excuses, albeit with a single desire: to love and to be loved.
I intuited that if I did not accept me just as I saw me, I'd never pray aright for I would always be praying for God to change me in some way. There is no gratitude in that, and gratitude paves the way for grace to do her cosmic thing.
Thank you.
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