This morning I realize, not for the first time, that my nemesis is me...came with me at birth. It is fear. It is one fear in particular, and it runs through my entire life...with God-in-Heaven-only-knows how many different people's names I have slapped on it over the years.
The grace-filled realization about my nemesis this morning is: This, too, is of God.
What if I've been mislabeling it all these years?...instead of welcoming it, hunkering down with it, letting it show me whatever I need to learn. Can I do that now? No, will I, is the question. And, of course I will. I used to brag that I was terrific in no-alternative situations until I realized, who isn't? "No alternative." Duh.
Talk about the good news and bad news both together...I'm feeling fairly excited and really apprehensive about making this turn. Starting to make this turn, actually, because I have not a clue where and how to begin. And there it is. The reason why I need ask God for nothing: He's already perfected it, just been waiting for me to get with the program for lo these many years.
Now I am really excited. There is nothing more relieving than remembering it's not my load to carry, just my path to walk. I have the book of directions, and I do follow those directions (speaking of no alternative).
God loves me so much. Right back at you, Lord!
Thank you.
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