When all we choose to depend on is our own mind-power, we are ever caught in that mind's inability to lift us out of our own self. To be lifted into God consciousness does not happen as wanted...it happens as needed, and we are not the determiner of our own need.
Our mind, driven by ego, will, like as not, always believe a want is a need. The kicker is that we spend an inordinate amount of time trying to fend off the need with our own self-determined fixes.
I remember in high school trying to get over a broken heart. Instead of accepting that guy is gone, my best friend and I got caught peeking in his windows one fine night. Then trying to stop eating chocolate over him, I was smoking close to three packs of cigarettes a day. After which, trying to stop smoking...how many classes, patches, doctors, substitutions did I buy into in my unsuccessful attempts to quit? I can't count them...I even went to a hypnotist. And, of course, there are more examples...so many more.
It wasn't until, driven by divine despair, that I met my heavenly doom (have I ever mentioned that I love a paradox?). But that's precisely what it is that causes us to crash and burn...despair and doom. As long as we have an idea in our reasoning mind that can head that crash off, we will avoid our feared surrender...and freedom.
It is only after surrendering that we realize we have accepted the absence of that which we believed we could not live without. If we are honest, we accepted, too, that it was through no clever thinking on our part that we found our freedom. Then, then our still more spiritual growth begins.
To paraphrase the Buddha, "It is mine to show the way, yours to do the trudging."
Thank you.
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