Fr. Richard Rohr often says that if we do not transform our pain, we will always transmit it. That seems so obvious that I believed it on reading and moved on. But this morning, as I sat in my quiet time, I wondered what exactly that means...how do I personally "transform" my pain?
The answer is fairly obvious...acceptance in a word.
The problem with acceptance is we cannot self will it. Acceptance is the answer no matter the question, but when we're in pain...psychological pain in particular (what my ego Lucy knows as that feeling of unloved, unwanted, unneeded and unappreciated)...acceptance is just another word.
I've found a good starting place for my being willing to accept that which feels unacceptable is to go to a quote of William James: Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune.
There is no judgment there...just a statement of fact, a how-to really, as he says. "to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune." I'm convinced it is ego alone that resists acceptance...Lucy will always resist it because, to the ego, it lets Gertrude, the real offender, off the hook.
Again, the problem with acceptance is we cannot self will it. Which is only a problem if we refuse to let go, and keep trying to do it our self.
We turn to God, to the God of our own understanding, immediately if not sooner, and assure him and our self that he has the problem now...we have released it into his capable hands.
All it takes to make that assurance is a simple, "Thank you." Anything more is nattering.
Thank you.
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