THE COMFORT OF UNCOMFORTABLE TRUTHS

I just love when I hear or read something that perfectly describes me and comes from someone I consider a spiritual giant.

Like today, Fr. Richard Rohr in his Daily Meditation wrote: "I’m so aware of what I’m not and of how phony I am and of how I say it so much better than I live it."

I have said those very words often and often...to myself at first, but now to others. The impossible truth is that  every time I have admitted that, I have felt comforted. How can that be? And who would think it possible..especially before actually out loud sharing it?

I thought it a long time before I ever risked saying it aloud to another. The first time we share a less-than-wonderful truth about ourselves it feels like a monumental risk. I mean, what if the listener gives a resounding, "Ain't that the truth?!" Or, worse, titters, "Oh, no, that's not true, dear."

Interestingly, when I first felt that I knew how phony I was, it turned out to be an ego trip in reverse...beating up on me hoping that was humility. It's not. It's just ego still playing its siren song. The fact is, how phony I am today means I'm not all that much. I'm fairly straight forward, as in, what you see is what you get...unless someone catches me unawares, and I go to my default CYA. All I can do then is admit it and move on.

The one that is as true today as it was the first time I ever admitted to it is, "I say it so much better than I live it."  I expect that will be true three days after I am dead. Here's the gold: That's what keeps us seeking still more spiritual growth. Why seek if we think we already have it all?

Thank you.