A dear friend of mine had to let her little dog go back to heaven yesterday, and I feel like my heart is ...missing? All the usuals...heavy, burdened, sad, broken. It is a gray day in my soul. And I know this gray mantle is also for my other beloveds...Si and Carlton and Lily and Sandy and now Nellie.
This is a clear example of what we know doesn't determine how we feel...feelings trump knowledge in the p.d.q. of life. But isn't that (or something like it) what our seeking still more spiritual growth is all about? Our quandary is the fact that denying our feelings is a shortcut to more misery, and whoever was able to just not think? Especially about something we don't want to think about!
And a bright light flickers...our need is to quit depending on how we feel, what we think (key word, "depending").
So we don't deny. We give ourselves permission to feel whatever, without self-censor, in the certain knowledge that dwelling there is a no-go. We then begin to change our mind. To make the turn from our reasoning mind's very legitimate recognition of our broken heart to the equally very legitimate recognition that gratitude is our answer. And we pray, "Thank you."
Thank you.
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