I was reading Richard Rohr and I came across this statement: "Words and thoughts are invariably dualistic, but pure experience is always non-dualistic." Which immediately opened me to a deeper understanding of why it is our ego-wants, not theirs, that we need give over to God. It is theirs that we want to give over, but if we truly give ours over, then theirs will follow...in our experience.
Example: My ego has been in a mental fistfight with Gertrude's ego. I want A, she wants Z...for the good of our fellowship, don'cha know (as my grandma would say).
From my eyebrows up, I am very aware this is an ego-victory fight, signifying less than nothing to the winner or for that matter to the loser! Except for the feeling of superiority in winning...which I know from experience will immediately if not sooner be followed by feelings of guilt, shame and despair for ever getting into the dim-dam fight in the first place. I finally verbally and mentally gave the whole thing over to God to do with however he wills for the good of the whole, and my resistance to her ego-want was incorporated with my ego-want into God's whole. I knew I was free because I broke out laughing. I haven't felt so utterly open, so unrestricted...well since I got in a fistfight with me.
Our ego builds itself through resistance, its safety zone (a good example is the politics of no). Fear is the ego's only friend. The ego lives by constriction, resisting any and all things that are for the purpose of ego deflation...i.e., all things spiritual. The soul lives by expansion, by opening with all things of God. We know it by our feelings of peace, love and joy for all.
Thank you.
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