RESENTMENT FREE...NOW THAT'S FREEDOM

Some years ago I had an experience with an acquaintance who loved doing fix-it projects for friends, and he was very good at it. I had often remarked, however, that he could be running to help put out a fire in a burning building, and if a passer-by asked if he had change for a dollar, he'd stop and check his pockets to see if he did. From that, I surmised that he had ADHD which was neither here nor there to me...until he offered to fix something for me. 

This was a fairly major project, and I consciously weighed the cost (large) of getting a professional, and what my acquaintance would charge (minimal). I had a fleeting thought about his ADHD. I chose minimal and ADHD. 

It was a four-day job, and for two days he did fantastic work. The third day he didn't show, and when I saw him, he couldn't have been friendlier...just had too much to do with his regular job. Left my job totally up in the air which I'm sure he would have come back to later...how much later I didn't chose to consider. Clearly the pro I was going to need to call would have twice the work just figuring out where to start.

Here's where applying the decision-based-on-self rule saves us from resentment. (The rule being: When someone steps on our toes, seemingly without provocation, invariably we will find we've made a decision based on self that placed us in a position to be hurt.) 

Until I made that rule my own, I resisted it. Once I made it my own, as in started living it rather than telling other people that they should, I learned the real value of laughing at myself. I mean, what’s the alternative...go upside my own head? Plus, laughing at oneself really does throw cold water on the undying victim within...it just can't get started while we're laughing.

It is true, if we turn our attention away from a friend's act of unkindness or thoughtlessness, or any perceived slight, toward that friend's many kindnesses...and maintain that train of thought...we will walk free in our own heads. Resentment free...and that is real freedom. 

Thank you.