MY CHOICE FOR GOD TO USE

Fail not in your function

of loving in a loveless place

made out of darkness and deceit,

for thus are darkness and deceit undone.

from "A Gift of Peace" at p. 95

I've read "A Gift of Peace," reread and reread and reread, since 1986. That is one of my favorite passages, and it was another epiphany when I realized that "darkness and deceit" are everything in my world that is not peace, not of God, thus are of the reasoning mind. 

My mind had always interpreted darkness and deceit as only relative to friends, foes, countries...people, just people. No. Darkness and deceit are the flip side of God consciousness...they exist only in our ego's reality (which, we must remember, does not exist).

I awoke this morning with my diagnosis of macular degeneration on my mind. I turned my thoughts to my original incurable, progressive disease which I had prayed so hard to not have. God knew better, I now have it and, gratefully, I have named it "Blessed."  

So here's my choice today...I get to think of my diagnosis of macular degeneration as the worst thing that could happen to me and not fair into the bargain: I live alone, I'm getting (got!) old...how can I deal with certain blindness, and all the uglies inherent to that? (This is a.k.a., poor, pitiful, put-upon me thinking.) 

OR, I can make a conscious decision to love my eyes just as they are right this very minute, give them to God to tend to, and remind myself, as needed, that macular degeneration may be the necessary tool that I chose for God to use in bringing me higher in consciousness with Him. 

That works for me. I say "thank you" and get back to happy.

Thank you.

UNCORK SELF AND GOD POPS OUT

The key to living a complete and fulfilled life lies in the realization that there is a mystical, transcendental Presence within us that has already provided our infinite supply unto eternity, that contains within Itself our companionship unto eternity, and that has within Itself the power of fulfillment. -- Joel Goldsmith, "A Parenthesis in Eternity" at p. 269

There. That perfectly describes the realization of God within us...as opposed to the acceptance in our head that there is a God out there. And God realization depends mostly on self-conquest through self-discipline; i.e., our daily obedience to spiritual disciplines.

As today's "God Calling" states: My servants lack [anything] and think I fail. These [things]are but the outward manifestations that result from obedience, honesty, order, love -- they come, not in answer to urgent prayer, but naturally as light results from a lighted candle.

We hear early and often that our new life is an inside job, and still we seek out there for the right fixer...the right meds, the right mate, the right job...the right thoughts even. If we will but turn our will and our life (along with our thoughts and our words) over to the care of God, we can and will walk free in our own mind.

Thank you.

WHY IS SIMPLE SELDOM EASY?

If we are encountering many frustrating or disturbing experiences, even such apparently minor ones as missing our bus or misplacing things, we may be sure that we need more frequent and deeper contact with the Source. -- Joel Goldsmith, "The Heart of Mysticism" at p. 897

That's it. That's our only need...more frequent and deeper contact with God.

Of course, the hook is that we must first experience the realization of God. Just agreeing that there is a God is heading in the right direction, but so what that there is a God? If we continue to cower in self-centered fears, tower in self-centered rage, live in our rues, regrets and remorses with self-superior judgments thrown in, so what for God?

Why did and do we struggle so hard to come to believe that there is a power greater than ourselves just to continue feeling unloved, unwanted, unneeded and unappreciated? And clearly loving the un-... else why go there so often?

Why? When the solution is so simple: "Seek ye first the kingdom of heaven and all else will be added unto ye."

Thank you.

ACCEPTANCE...AN ACT OF GRACE

[The following is a reprint from my blog of February 19, 2012.]

“If you do not transform your pain, you will always transmit it.” — Fr. Richard Rohr

To me, the rest of that thought is: in your search for someone out there to blame.

“If you do not transform your pain, you will always transmit it in your search for someone out there to blame.”

There is no one to blame, not even yourself. There is no one to blame for anything, no reason to shame anyone. You are, however, responsible for your pain…no matter who or what the apparent cause.

It is through surrender that pain is transformed…and then becomes the instrument through which you can be of benefit to others.

All pain is beneficial to you when you learn to take responsibility for it…and the instant you think, “Yes, but…,” you’re going down that wrong road again.

There are two truths about pain…1) all transformed pain is beneficial; and 2) finding someone to blame nurtures, grows, your pain.

Another truth: Acceptance, like forgiveness, cannot be received through an act of will…it can only come through the grace of God.

Thank you.

ON GOING AGAINST EGO'S ADVICE

So I was talking with my friend Sylvia, and she was so excited about my advice to her the previous day. According to her, she had told me she was praying for an answer to a problem and getting no answer, and I had said, "Pray harder."

If I ever thought praying harder was a viable solution, it has not been in years...and years. My only prayer for a way long time now is and has been, "Thank you." Thank you for anything and everything that is appearing before my eyes or only in my head covers it, according to me.

It is written, and I do believe, "The Father knows your needs." That being my truth, all I need remember is that I'd rather have God's will done in my life than my will done in my life. Ergo, my prayer can only be "thank you." I sometimes pray, "Thank you for my life just as it is right this very minute," but that's for me, not God.

To go back to Sylvia...that's such a clean-cut example of what we hear is what we hear, not necessarily what was said. As a matter of fact, what we hear is seldom what was said, because as we hear, we interpret.

Sylvia is a new friend and has not heard me talk about my only prayer. I'm guessing she interpreted what I said based on what she was thinking she needed to do...i.e., pray harder. And, hearing that from another pleased her beyond the beyond...she was sharing my advice with all her friends, she said.

I made listening noises and realized that now was not the time to "correct" her. My feeling is when someone is obviously tickled with what they heard, unless it will do a harm to them or others, let it stand. God will lead us both to whatever and whenever a correction is needed. [Sidebar: I cannot emphasize enough how greatly my ego disagrees: "Others will know that advice is puny...and with my name on it!"]

Thank you.

ON TURNING TO GOD FIRST

By your acceptance or rejection of these universal beliefs, you determine what governs your life. -- Joel Goldsmith, "The Heart of Mysticism" at p. 898

I understood this from a different angle this morning. Previously, I've considered "these universal beliefs" to be whatever spiritual principles find a home in our heart, that we therefore make ours and follow...meaning that, in general, our heart and our head live at peace.

It was the thought that followed my reading the above that set me thinking. I flashed on the lives of Gandhi, MLK, Jr., Jesus...all of whom advocated for peace, for love, yet all were murdered.

I thought of how we try to find the gold in every event, action, happening that comes to us...with the possible exception of human relationships...the bumps, the ruptures, the tears.

Have we ever been willing to find the gold asap then...like, in the midst of the petty spat? Or immediately after since sometimes we don't even know we are in a petty spat! The only requirement is that we turn to God before our ego-victory reasoning mind connects and determines why the other person is wrong.

We learn to keep our big mouth shut...most of the time. (I personally have learned to share the happening with one other person just to keep me honest. If I don't share, I will explode in anger, after which my story will prove I am an angel straight from heaven and the other one is an agent from hell.)

All of that is staying in the reasoning mind...and I don't fault it entirely. That way has saved more than one friendship...but there is no spiritual growth there.

Yet, I have dealt with...or been dealt with by...the IRS, my anxieties, the deaths of loved ones, and more. I know, therefore, that if we will consciously look for and find the gold in each situation, we can know and show each situation was our angel. There is our spiritual growth.

Yet, I cannot recall ever looking for the gold in petty tears in the fabric of friendships. And a great many of those dinged friendships simply went begging, faded away. Not from hate but from lack of love...lack of caring enough to find the gold in the dispute. Just another I'd rather be right than loved.

I wonder if the easy cop-out for not immediately turning to God in the midst of our spat is that we're just too fearful (read "self-willed") to stay. The pop-psychologists claim that fright demands fight or flight so we grab flight and figure God'll be there tomorrow, we can check with him then.

The gold in this is: If we sincerely desire still more spiritual growth, this is the golden goose for going for it.

Thank you.

ACCEPTANCE IS NON-RESISTANCE

It is probably the most courageous thing you will ever do to accept that you are just yourself. -- Fr. Richard Rohr, "Daily Meditations."

Extending that thought: That says to me that the most courageous thing we can do is to accept ourselves just as we are when others are not accepting us just as we are. True acceptance is non-resistance, and that does take courage.

It takes courage to feel another's resistance/judgment and not explain, justify, excuse ourselves...or, the most common response, to not resist/judge right back.

The problem is not in another's resistance, the problem is in our own ego's interpretation of that resistance. It takes courage to turn a deaf ear to our own ego's siren call. For it is ego, our own ego, that is resisting what it is hearing, what it is interpreting as it hears it, and promptly puts another's name on it.

Ego deflation at depth, I'm guessing, is quite simply the realization of God. That realization is what needs tending...that which we must discipline ourselves to return to always...for our reasoning mind, our ego, will break in, will demand our attention. Our courageous act is to let it! Let it in so we can let it go...let it flow right on through us. A truism: What we resist persists.

The ego's call is so attractive because it always has someone else as its source for blaming and shaming. No. To go down that road is to detour from our only acceptable goal; i.e., our own still more spiritual growth. That is ours and ours alone to align with the realization that God is...and that is enough.

We develop a consciousness of enough, and we know peace.

Thank you.

OUR INCURABLE WOUND IS OUR GIFT

A Swiss theologian, Hans Urs Von Balthasar (1905-1988), said toward the end of his life: “All great thought springs from a conflict between two eventual insights: 1) The wound which we find at the heart of everything is finally incurable. 2) Yet we are necessarily and still driven to try.” (From Fr. Richard Rohr's Daily Meditations.)

I find that thought, both parts, very comforting. The possibility that there is a wound at the heart of everything that is incurable...ergo, it'll do our thinking for us whenever it wants to...gives me immeasurable peace. It explains so much...the answer finally to the eternal question, "What is wrong with me?"

The gold is in "we are necessarily driven to try" to find a cure. This leads to the discovery that the only reasonable place to seek is God, the indwelling higher power. That is the first and final step in breaking free from our reliance on our own brain, the home of our ego. Plus, we find that our seeking must be on a daily basis...because our ego-victory wants are alive and nattering 24/7, so must our search be.

These "two eventual insights" open us to the realization that we are governed by one of two things: By the activity of God in our consciousness or by the activity of our ego-victory wants.

Choose you this day....

Thank you.

SMILE AND GOD SMILES WITH YOU

My friend Sylvia is exhibiting a holier-than-thou attitude...my job is to love and laugh. Just love her and laugh at me judging her for judging me.

My God has a weird and wonderful sense of humor which is one, probably the best, reason to stay tuned into him. He obviously knows that nothing rings my I'm-holier-than-you-are bell quicker than somebody else ringing their own holier bell.

The trouble with spiritual principles is that they work. "What we see is always ourselves," is the flat truth which I can immediately accept...welcome even...when I see how badly you need it. Applying it to myself...ah, that takes a tish longer.

There's my gold...God's brought a smile to my face, and I've brought a smile to his.

Thank you.

WHY WE MEDITATE

All of our problems can be solved by spiritual principles. -- Anonymous

That is the most important fact we will ever need to remember and to keep forefront daily. Remember, and then strip down our resistance to it...our "yes, buts...." For instance:

1. Macular degeneration is not a problem, it is an incurable  disease of the eye to be treated by a qualified doctor.
2. Cancer, Alzheimer's, a stroke...none is a problem, all are physical conditions requiring medical attention.
3. Lack of money, food, home, car...none is a problem, all are circumstances, probably temporary.
4. Nuclear war...not a problem, a dilemma. 

All, every single one of those, have one common denominator...that is fear. That is the problem. And that, our single problem, can only be healed by spiritual principles. For fear lives in our mind, our thoughts.

It is a difficult thing to realize, and our reasoning mind will not get us there, but we have nothing to fear from conditions in the material world. It is our thoughts about those conditions that we must look at...look at full in the face and then let go of, detach from...and, again, our reasoning mind will not get us there. God, however, can and will if sought.

We make conscious contact with God through our daily quiet time. Joel Goldsmith recommends that in "the early morning hours of every day," we realize the presence of God within us since everything is done by and through God. It is that realization that proves the truth of such statements as, "He goes before us to make the crooked places straight," and "He performs that which is given us to do."

It is our realization that proves them true and active in our lives. If we don't have that realization, those are just so many words. And there it is. That is why we make conscious contact...daily.

Thank you.

LEAVE GOD'S FINGERPRINTS, NOT OURS

In pondering the goal to cease fighting anything and anybody, it occurs to me that we can best get our point made by using humor...never hostile humor which is only humorous to the sender not the receiver.

To make our point gently requires much discipline...as in, the discipline of training our thoughts. We're going to run our mind anyway (without discipline, it is going to run us), why not learn how to go with happy thoughts, how to rein in our attack thoughts?

In X% of the spiritual material we read, the message comes down to, "Love and laugh." That's all. So there's our starting point for learning how to cease fighting while gently getting our point made (which our reasoning mind calls, "getting that blankety-blank told off").

Love and laughter...this leave God's fingerprints, not ours, on all concerned, the situation, the other person, us. This is also known as ego reduction at depth.

Thank you.

ON KEEPING GOD-FOCUSED

I met my new "IT guy" yesterday...I hope its not my "former" already but we'll see.

I choose to believe that he could not comprehend that anyone as hip, slick and cool as I obviously am could be as computer illiterate as I claimed to be. So, when I could not remember my e-mail password...no, to be real honest, I did not even know I had an e-mail password...he freaked.

Never one to  let a good freak-out go by unattended, I stepped right up and there we went. When I realized he needed what I think of as my blog's password, I quick gave it to him... which did not sooth his un-quieted mind for a minute.  He ordered me to write it down to which I snarked back that it is written down (which it isn't and I do need to...).

Ruckus very cleverly interrupted at this point to let me know it was his dinner time so neither IT nor I lost face in taking a break.

IT finished his work; I paid him, both of us being very sociable.

There's a good example of "though I make my bed in hell, God is there," which is probably a paraphrase, written somewhere in the Bible.

That kind of fear-based anger coming at me triggers my fear-based response. I'm accepting of the fact that this response will likely be with me until three days after I'm dead. It's what I do with it that counts now.

I can let it be and put it at the top of my "things to remember about my IT guy." As in, patience is not his strong suit. His impatience is not personal to me. Not being able to give him what he wants...and  asap...will happen again.

And there. There's my holy ground. There's where I can stand still, keep a God-focused mind and simply ask that he (God and/or the IT guy) give me a minute...and repeat as needed until I reach my calm.

Our holy ground: God focused.

Thank you.

GETTING...AND STAYING...OUT OF THE WAY

Do not feel that you have to try and help them. Just love them, welcome them, shower little courtesies and love-signs on them, and they must be helped. --"God Calling" today

Those who are committed to trudging the road of happy destiny, i.e., the spiritual path, will find others drawn to us. We best take care to remember that it is not us they are drawn to.

The light and joy that flow out from the Father within us is the attractor... it is not us, it is the light shining from within us.

It is our self-determined objectives, activated through our reasoning mind, that get in the way...decide what another needs to hear, needs to do. Our ego then allows us to believe that only we can deliver the goods to fulfill the other's needs.

No. All we need do is "love them, welcome them, shower little courtesies and love-signs on them, and they must be helped."

Thank you.

POPE FRANCIS...MY NEW BEST FRIEND

I love finding the God of my understanding in the little things. It's eye-popping obvious when he shows up in the big things, but I have to stay aware to recognize him in the little ones. Today, for instance, I caught his presence in this Tablet's wallpaper...which is a picture of my little dog Ruckus.

Sidebar: I didn't even know this thing had a camera, so when my friend was working on my PC and I was fiddling with the Tablet, Ruckus's face popped up on my screen. My friend had to tell me that I had gotten into camera mode.

Yesterday, I was fiddling again, and I find the picture. Apparently I again did something (it just takes an unintentional drag of an unknowing finger for this thing to run wild all on its own), because when I shut down, there's Ruckus's precious face right on the screen. I loved it, and I thought it was too bad I didn't know how I'd done it.

This morning I opened my Tablet, and there's my boy! It gave me such a jolt of joy because I hadn't realized it was there permanently (or until an unintentional, etc.). That joy-jolt told me...ah-ha! God's fingerprints are on this. And we all three, God, Ruckus and I, hugged and giggled and grinned.

There's the glorious freedom of having a God of my own understanding... for this is the kind of story that the rigid, righteous and right would pooh-pooh, claiming God doesn't wash windows nor does he play with Tablets. But mine does...and I'll bet Pope Francis would agree with me.

Thank you.

AGAIN...LET GO AND LET GOD

Probably most everybody has heard that we must love in order to be loved. It seems to me that we first must learn what love means to us, each of us, personally.

I dislike good old Gertrude, I pray God bless her, change me. However, until I become willing to know and show love for Gertrude in my own mind, with my very own ragtag thoughts, that prayer is likely to remain just so many words. Nothing is impossible to God, only there 's a whole lot that is highly improbable.

My long-ago prayer was simply that I love and be loved...emphasis on "be loved." All I knew about love was, if you met with my unqualified approval, that was love. Unfortunately my standards for others have always been extremely high...hence, my unqualified approval mostly went begging.

Interestingly, almost all that I know about love today I have learned through error...through my own idea of what and how I needed to love, I've met humility face to face. That's how I learned that humiliation is just humility aborning...welcome it.

Today I call my warts my love-lights for they certainly have turned the light on my rocky road to love. I believe that it is through learning to live by spiritual principles that we can experience even a glimmer of the reality of the love within us.

According to Joel Goldsmith, this power of love, "which is God," is a law of attraction, and therefore, it can only attract to us those whom we can love/serve. and those who can love/serve us since we are all one.

I just love that...I no longer go searching for those I can help, love, serve or for those who can help, serve, love me. God within me is attracting my own to me just as I am being attracted by God to others.

Again, let go and let God.

Thank you.

INTO GOD CONSCIOUSNESS

As I read a friend's note this morning about a member of her family's mental illness, another friend's physical illness came to mind...along with my continuing frustration with this Tablet: What if they are all the same to God? What if one is not more deserving than another of God's grace?

Sylvia still must do the spiritual working through of her resistance to her family member's condition; Joan still must do the physical work of chemo, etc.; I still have to do the mental work of learning to use my Tablet. Mental, physical, spiritual...same old, same old, i.e., the good news.

Yet we can...indeed, we are commanded to...rest in the assurance that God has our back. Here, though, is the hard lesson for learning: Our perceived result may not be God's perfect result.

Our job is to open our mind to two facts: (1) God's will shall prevail and (2) his will is and must be better than what we are perceiving.

Out of our reasoning mind into God consciousness.

Thank you.

SEEKING THE GOOD IN POWERLESSNESS

The [reason for] our daily work is to bring us to a point of conscious awareness of God's presence.

In this higher consciousness, you will experience My peace, My meat, wine, water, My life, My joy. In this consciousness, you experience the kingdom of God and His strength, His power, His wisdom. This is the Fourth Dimension of Life. -- Joel Goldsmith, "The Heart of Mysticism"

It is a puzzlement that I can so thoroughly want what Goldsmith writes about and do the necessary work and experience real changes in my consciousness... and get turned bum over bucket at blocks to my reasoning mind. As in, I am in the process of learning my powerlessness over my new Tablet. It's like learning to type all over again, and I don't have the patience I had at 15...when I had none at all now that I think about it.

Here's me saying I don't have the patience, when I am very well aware that we have all the patience we'll ever need within us right this very minute just waiting to be used. (Why do spiritual principles sound so sanctimonious when we're ticked off? Feels like they're being used at us. AND here's me peeved at me for lecturing me!)

I wish this thing had a clock on it that would show how long it took me to type just that paragraph. Sheez! I'm ready to go back to bed.

Yesterday morning I couldn't get the thing to turn on...I finally yelled at God that I know he has my back but he was going to have to get up in my brain if we were ever going to get this sucker to work.
With which I hit the right button and it came on... coincidence? Or God's got a perverted since of humor? Somehow "grace" doesn't seem to fit.

Enough. God can and will if sought... or he'd better because I'm clueless.

Thank you.

DETACH FROM ME...ATTACH TO WE

Just as there is no loss of basic energy in the universe, so no thought or action is without its effects, present or ultimate, seen or unseen, felt or unfelt. -- Norman Cousins

Today, "...so no thought...is without its effects..." lit up my mind. This says no more than the admonition that if we have lust in our hearts, we've already committed adultery. It's just that it is said by a modern man in today's world...a well-known modern man, not just some woo-woo guy walking by... or me to myself.

Rohr says something to the effect that authentic spiritual growth is always about us...that we must change first.

That change, of course, begins with our thoughts... change our thinking, change our very lives. Which goes back to my belief that changing our mind is the hardest thing life asks of us. Probably because all that real change requires is for us to quit thinking about ourselves and start thinking about others...first.

Thank you.

MY QUEST IS MY BLOCK

A note I wrote to myself in 2000: "This is my quest: To let the great I AM lead me to the freedom of giving and receiving love."

Another note below that one dated 2007: "Blinding flash of the obvious: This is what binds hate to me...the quest."

As I read that note, I realized more deeply its truth. My quest sounds so pretty, so acceptable to my reasoning mind, that it must be God-approved, yet it is just another self-determined objective. The quest keeps me up in my head, seeking my way, rather than taking a leap of faith, giving and receiving whatever love I have...like a mustard seed, a little love is enough and more than.

My note this morning: "2014 - Thank you that I freely give and receive love today...you do good work, God, and I am grateful."

Thank you.

THAT HATED WORD...DISCIPLINE

[The following is a reworked reprint of my blog of January 24, 2012.]

To live without fret or get is to live without remorses over the past or worries for the future…to live in the now. To live now, one must live as on the point of a pin, entirely focused on and consciously aware only of here and now.

Often, in reading a mystical author’s book, I will puzzle over seeming contradictions the author makes several times in the course of the book. The actions being suggested as necessary may look as different as A from Z but, when I follow the thought back each time, I find the premise is either “detach” or “resist not.”

My freedom is in the discipline of remembering, of bringing myself back to, just this: “Nothing is personal, resist not,” or, more specifically, “resist not…now.” (It’s often necessary for my reasoning mind to attach the word “now,” in order to hold my “yes, but” at bay.)

So the gift begins in that hated word “discipline” which becomes the pearl beyond price.

Thank you.

RESENTMENT FREE...NOW THAT'S FREEDOM

Some years ago I had an experience with an acquaintance who loved doing fix-it projects for friends, and he was very good at it. I had often remarked, however, that he could be running to help put out a fire in a burning building, and if a passer-by asked if he had change for a dollar, he'd stop and check his pockets to see if he did. From that, I surmised that he had ADHD which was neither here nor there to me...until he offered to fix something for me. 

This was a fairly major project, and I consciously weighed the cost (large) of getting a professional, and what my acquaintance would charge (minimal). I had a fleeting thought about his ADHD. I chose minimal and ADHD. 

It was a four-day job, and for two days he did fantastic work. The third day he didn't show, and when I saw him, he couldn't have been friendlier...just had too much to do with his regular job. Left my job totally up in the air which I'm sure he would have come back to later...how much later I didn't chose to consider. Clearly the pro I was going to need to call would have twice the work just figuring out where to start.

Here's where applying the decision-based-on-self rule saves us from resentment. (The rule being: When someone steps on our toes, seemingly without provocation, invariably we will find we've made a decision based on self that placed us in a position to be hurt.) 

Until I made that rule my own, I resisted it. Once I made it my own, as in started living it rather than telling other people that they should, I learned the real value of laughing at myself. I mean, what’s the alternative...go upside my own head? Plus, laughing at oneself really does throw cold water on the undying victim within...it just can't get started while we're laughing.

It is true, if we turn our attention away from a friend's act of unkindness or thoughtlessness, or any perceived slight, toward that friend's many kindnesses...and maintain that train of thought...we will walk free in our own heads. Resentment free...and that is real freedom. 

Thank you.

GOD'S WILL AND OUR LYING EYES

To the illumined man or woman, a clod of dirt, a stone, and gold are the same. -- Sri Krishna (Bhagavad Gita)

My morning's blinding flash of the obvious: Any want that I take to God in prayer...that want becomes my God.

I ponder that, and I realize that any strong desire that we pray God to give us or to help us attain, that want, that goal, when it becomes our driver, our heart's desire, has become our God.

Just adding, "...if it be Thy will," is a manipulation unless and until we can change our desire to the equivalent of "It would be nice but unnecessary." That's how our will is transmuted into "I'd rather have your will done in my life than my will, no matter what either looks like to my lying eyes."

Thank you.

AND GOD SIGHS

I've been indulging my attack mind recently...that's fancy words for endlessly taking another's inventory. Then, when I catch myself, I ask God to wash my thoughts clean..."purify my thoughts" are my exact words. 

Here's how God talks to me...this morning my blinding flash of the obvious was, "God is not a car wash." It doesn't take a lot of pondering to understand that. 

I can't let my thoughts attack at will and then thank God for cleaning them up, expecting to walk away with a clear mind. God doesn't clean up after us...He gives us free rein and by our own conscience we know if/when we're off. That's what spiritual discipline means...we get to do the work of disciplining our thoughts, our words, our actions. Upgrade, upgrade, upgrade. 

The Buddha is quoted as having said, "The Buddhas do but tell the way, it is for you to swelter at the task." No way are we going to walk away wondering what that means either.

If we're ever going to get to the gold standard (that's Chet the Jet's, "I've got a mind that's on my side."), we need to begin/continue to learn to love self-discipline. Which leads my resisting mind to the question: How is it that many "self" things seem so attractive, yet self-discipline remains such an ugh?

And God sighs...lovingly, of course.

Thank you.

CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE

I heard once a man say that his life had been governed by slight provocations...it was like an electric shock treatment. I could feel the awakening from my toenails up. I saw that that was pretty much the standard on which I'd based my life...shouting my battle cry as I left yet one more life, "You'll need me before I need you!"

Realizing that truth about me, along with the fact that all my problems can be solved by spiritual principles, has led me up a new and happier road.

I've learned that it is embarrassingly simple to live a life of peace...just take nothing personally. The hard part is that nothing, unfortunately, means nothing. That slap upside our head? Not personal. That gossip behind our back? It has nothing to do with us, personally...how could it when it is so patently untrue? Not personal.

Our ego's oxygen, however, is all about personal. Resisting personal attacks, real or imaginary, is Velcro to ego. It attaches to the attacks, and only a power greater than ourselves (and it) can pry us free...or pray us free.

That's when and where we get to turn, no matter how slightly, to that higher power within us, and seek another way of receiving this seemingly personal attack. The surest (and fastest) way I've found to get that new way is to shoot a thank you and quick think of things of nature...seashores, sunsets, pine trees, anything. It is transporting. Which, of course, is our goal.

As Fr. Richard Rohr says, "That which is not transformed will be transmitted." We do not need to be transmitters when we can be transformers by simply becoming willing...willing to change our mind.

Thank you.

THE FATHER KNOWS OUR NEEDS

The soul that is attached to anything, however much good there may be in it, will not arrive at the liberty of divine union. For whether it be a strong wire rope or a slender and delicate thread that holds the bird, it matters not, if it really holds it fast; for, until the cord is broken, the bird cannot fly. -- Saint John of the Cross

The "anything," of course, is any self-determined objective...be it health, wealth, wisdom or love..."however much good there may be in it."

Just this morning I read, "Relinquish every material thing and receive it back again from God." Which to me is the same as the one, :"Seek ye first the kingdom of heaven and all these things will be added unto you."

Talk about your impossible dreams. Or maybe it just seems impossible to me because I can't get passed my wants, dressed up as needs... for others, of course! That's the trouble with wants... most often, they are ego-originated, ego-driven and the ego is the beneficiary. Especially when they look like they have another's well-being in them.

We can tell we're into ego-wants when we find ourselves praying for another's, say, health...all we need pray is, "Thank you for her health just as it is right this very minute." And then trust that God knows if the health needs fixing and just how to go about it.

In truth, the underlying desire, when we're praying for another's health, is for us...to help us not have to hurt for the other. When that's where our real spiritual growth is...in our deep feelings for another. "Thank you" again suffices.

Thank you.

THE PERPETUAL NOW

Notes to myself in today's Easwaran: 

"2008 - To serve others is God's will for me.

"2011 - To serve others as they want to be served

"2013 - To serve others as they need to be served

"2014 - To serve others are they need to be served according to God's dictates, not mine, not theirs...."

Ah, now I've gotten to the nut.  This requires us to live in the perpetual now...for only in the now can ego be silenced. Only in the now can God's blinding flash of the obvious be received.

It may be that a blinding flash of the obvious is the only thing that can override our ego's siren song for, obviously, it only enters our consciousness here and now.

Thank you.

GRACE OF GOD AND HELP FROM MY FRIEND

I took a leap of faith yesterday. I bought the Microsoft 8 package to upgrade my PC and a Tablet. I took the leap entirely because I was forced to, but what other reason is there really to take a leap of faith? 

Microsoft notified all of us XP users one short week ago that it was going to drop all of us on our heads, and after April 8 our computers were going to be utterly open and unprotected from liars, thieves, cheats and hackers. 

I am blessed with a wonderful friend who knows all there is to know about all there is to know having to do with computers so he went with me to pick out and buy what I needed. Then he installed it all. Blessed? Graced, I believe, is the word.

I have been working with desktop computers since 1984...30 years...that's impossible, isn't it? It's embarrassing for sure because the fact is I am still nine-tenths computer illiterate. So, I'm pondering that fact, along with the fact that I need to learn the Tablet and the new 8 because I tend to think I only use my PC for e-mails and this blog so it's not urgent. When I wrote out all the things I use it for, however...whoa. Enlightenment, in a word. It isn't just a "want" to learn, it really is a "need" to learn. Which cheered me up...I'm convinced wants are of self (we may get them, we may not), but needs are of God (if we need it, it will happen). 

Here's where I get to move my knowing that I Am that I Am from my head down to my heart and in to my gut. I am responsible for learning the Tablet and the upgrade, after which I need to remember unto reliance that It, God, is within me/without me, using my brain, my hands...me...to do the work. 

Just today I noted in the first sentence in my God Calling ("I am all-powerful and all-knowing, and I have all your affairs in my hands.") that long ago I had circled all the "I's" when I realized that that I lies within me...walks before me to make the crooked places straight, performeth that which is given me to do.

I only need to let go of my fearful belief that the entire learning unto doing process is dependent upon me. It is dependent on me and on my making myself available to God's mysterious power. I get to walk forward, stumbling and bumbling, but getting there, getting my right answers, doing it. All through the grace of God, my willingness, and a lot of help from my friend Mark.

Thank you.

SEEK NOT THAT WHICH YOU HAVE...USE IT

We do not need to seek God's forgiveness. We have God's forgiveness...God IS forgiveness. 

We need to seek that realization, that we already have God's forgiveness within us. When we realize that, it is released into our head, our heart, our body, our soul. It becomes our living experience. 

All we need in order to forgive ourselves is to realize God's forgiveness is ours...cannot not be ours. Our forgiveness, then, transforms as peace...within us, without us. 

We walk in peace.

Thank you.

TRANSFORMING AND UPGRADING

What you don't transform, you will transmit. -- Fr. Richard Rohr, "Daily Meditations," September 29, 2013.

Interestingly, personal transformation is always of self, either our ego self or our consciousness of the Self within (known as a "raised consciousness"). In neither case is it possible to do it on our unaided strength...alone.

A down and dirty take on the whole process is: Upgrade your attitude, upgrade your problem. This is where we learn the lie in the saying that the only thing we can change is ourselves...which, in fact, may be the only personal thing we can't change. We can only be willing participants with God in letting ourselves be changed...in letting our minds be changed.

Our ego is our spiritual roadblock...we can never, and we will ever try to, make an end-run around our ego. That's why the Sermon is so daunting...it flat states that we need to do things our ego flat refuses to believe are good for us. As in, if someone slaps you upside your head, turn the other cheek. If someone steals your coat, run after him and give him your cloak. Forgive seventy times seven. Resist not evil. Crazy talk!

The secret is...again...that we cannot do those things on our unaided strength alone, but we cannot not do those things when we realize a power greater than ourselves as our core, as our strength, as our very being.

That's transformation...from self to Self. A transformed Self transmits love...only love.

Thank you.

ON THE NEED FOR A MENTOR

It would be an utter impossibility for you to experience God's presence and not have somebody during the day feel that he was benefited just by being in your presence. -- Joel Goldsmith, "The Heart of Mysticism" at p 875.

I love that quote but it's so beyond my reasonable expectations for myself that I just remind me not to pass on my ugly...my gold rule, "Don't be as nasty as you want to be."

It is way too easy for our ego to wrap itself in beautiful spiritual words and for our reasoning mind to believe that means we've got it.

When we start parading and preaching, we know we've made a U-turn into self again. We've crossed the ugly line when friends, non-friends...even our pets...start walking away from, not toward, us. Unfortunately, it's usually just a sense of withdrawing so we must be other-open to even pick that up. And there's our catch-22...we're totally into our ego's spiritual fantasy, thus undesiring (not incapable) of being aware of others.

This is the number one reason we all need a mentor. We need someone we have personally invited into our lives with whom we share our most intimate thoughts, feelings, words...and her sole purpose is to tell us the bald truth about ourselves from what she is hearing, the truth with no hair on it. This is a sacred trust so when she does tell us that truth, and our ego rises up in righteous indignation (which it will), our higher power can and will intervene on behalf of both of us. 

This is what Goldsmith refers to when he speaks of "experiencing God's presence." It cannot be discerned by physical means...but we know it. We know it in our mentor's words when that bald truth becomes words of piercing love that he did not know he could speak, and we did not know we could welcome. 

We have just become entirely willing. Now to maintain that willingness...by realizing a whole new level of letting go. 

Thank you.