Say, when Gertrude for whatever reason feels threatened, she invites her worst fear (rejection) to happen. She begins to act mean, disrespectful and rude to her perceived threatener. (She can't be rejected if she gets rid of her rejecter first.)
Remember, the base here is her perception, her interpretation, that rejection is either imminent or has happened, and it does not matter that the perceived threatener is her dearest friend, partner, spouse. It only matters what her fear is whispering in her mind.
When the other person is met by that rejection, the reasoning mind says s/he needs to react in kind...because most of us have that same fear, rejection. What does mean, disrespectful and rude shout but rejection?
As Ken Keyes said, "More suffering comes into the world by people taking offense than by people intending to give offense." Gertrude, having perceived rejection, took offense, and her fear attacked. The answer, of course, is to not respond in kind. And that's where we meet, yet again, the power of the ego. We, living in the ego-victory mind, cannot not respond in kind...or by not responding at all, simply drawing a big red line through Gertrude's name, and the friendship is nevermore.
If we are ever to have long-lasting friendships, peaceful relationships, we need to learn the art of detachment...i.e., to divorce ourselves from our own opinions.
Since we are indeed powerless over our own ego, we'd best accept that God, and only God, is not. We need to learn and turn...away from self to God. It is in the turning, the willingness to divorce ourselves from ourselves, that the battle is won...and both sides come out the winner.
A clue: 70 x 7.
Thank You.
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