It is not God we test, it is our own selves we test.
We think we have an unsolvable problem. We ask God to solve it. We wait five minutes, then do what we were planning to do before we took a second to ask His help.
The test is not to see if God will solve it...the test is a matter of our patience: Are we willing to "sit and wait on the Lord?" And for how long are we willing to sit and wait on the Lord with no answer apparent to our own eyes.
My "how long?" used to be how ever long it took for me to think of yet another me solution...which wouldn't work. So I'd again ask God's help, wait till I thought of yet another solution which wouldn't work, etc. This entire time, of course, I was building my foundation of no faith...my proof that if there is a God, He doesn't know my name.
And there's the paradox. To build our proof of no God, we must keep coming back to try again...and we finally reach the unanswerable-to-the-reasoning-mind. At the point of the unexplainable is where the miracle of God appears...where the reasoning mind surrenders.
It feels like crash and burn, but in fact it is rebirth. Both crash and burn and rebirth are painful, but both are essential if we would have a new outlook, a new belief...a new life.
Thank You.
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