He who holds back rising anger like a rolling chariot, him I call a real driver; other people are but holding the reins. -- The Buddha
This is another arrow pointing us in the right direction; i.e., "We have given up fighting anything and anybody."
We have to become totally, completely, unconditionally in personal agreement with that statement...it must become our watchword, our way of life...else it's just so many words.
The key, I'm convinced, is in learning to laugh at ourselves...especially our ego-need to respond in kind, to react instead of act. Reaction takes no thought...action, if it is to be beneficial to us, requires "prior proper planning."
Prior proper planning begins with remembering "to control my instinctive reactions and feel compassion and acceptance for the other person, rather than ridicule and rejection." That just means finding our own way to understand the other person. I once heard that we can never hate anyone we truly understand...which does not mean we need to invite a practicing pedophile into our hearts, but it does mean we cannot hate him else we risk being eaten inside out by our own bile.
Another prior is remembering that the emery-board people in our lives are our angels. They rub us the wrong way which, if we're following directions, turns our thoughts from how wrong they are to "what is wrong with me that I cannot accept them?" This is where "thank You" is priceless...it's a quick reminder that this is a good thing, and we don't need to know why. It smooths out our negative reactions and helps to remind us that we needed this person in order to get over our own defect.
To me, unresolved anger, usually parading as righteous rage, is just unresolved self-pity on steroids...it is the result of taking ourselves too seriously. There is great freedom in learning to laugh at oneself...my goal is that it become my fall-back reaction.
Thank You.
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