Simply changing my own mind about something that originated in my own mind, based on my own opinion is the hardest for me.
I was talking with a person in my condo recently, and she was sharing that she'd told her pastor about "this really nice lady who has a dog named Ruckus." She was talking about me, and I was very touched. I was very touched because when first I met her, I just wanted to put a whole lot of gone between us. I just didn't take to her. But I thought of all the running my mind and mouth I do on love, and I consciously decided to move closer to her...to think welcoming thoughts when I see her, which isn't all that often, but to make an effort to simply change my original impression which had become my opinion almost on thought. And now I really do feel welcoming when I see her, when we stop and chat.
Which brings me to another person toward whom I feel less than wonderful. Unfortunately, I have spared neither my thoughts in the thinking nor my tongue in the saying how I feel.
The trouble with still more spiritual growth is that it works. I'm now feeling really uncomfortable about my badmouthing, because it is true that no matter how justified I feel, badmouthing is just picking up mud and slinging it in my own face.
I do know that having a change of heart, becoming willing to change my mind, is all that is necessary to invite God's perfect work to begin. Mine to stay in the attitude of invitation, as in, clean up my own thoughts with which my own tongue becomes kinder (without becoming show-off sweet, kind, considerate, lovable and generous...phony, in a word).
It seems to me that spiritual growth begins within, gets completed by the Father within, and only shows forth when the action is completed...and we are usually the last to know.
Thank You.
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