DON'T RESIST...EMBRACE

A friend of mine, many years ago, was having trouble letting go of her only child who was going off to college. In a moment of complete despondency, she said, "I'm just going to have to hug her and kiss her and let her go." With which she burst into tears.

I was struck mute for I knew from my toenails up that that is it...that is the answer to most anything in life. Fear of tomorrow?...fear of anything! Hug it, kiss it, and let it go. Have a potential resentment? Hug it, kiss it, let it go.

That cannot be done, of course, by simply saying those words. But that is what we learn to turn our minds toward when a fear, a doubt, a resentment rears its ugly head. We turn our focus to the hug, the kiss, away from poor-pitiful-put-upon me...for that, unfortunately, is NOT a dead-end street. It spirals down until we change our minds, our focus...so why not change it first thing?

In other words, don't resist, embrace.

Thank You.

FEELING ANXIOUS? WELCOME THAT

As irrigators lead water where they want, as archers make their arrows straight, as carpenters carve wood, the wise shape their minds. -- The Buddha

That, shaping one's mind, is not such a daunting task as it first seems. Not so daunting, that is, if we remember we're going for progress, not perfection...if we're willing to listen, to follow directions, to sit in the silence.

To shape one's thoughts, after all, is simply changing one's mind. Maybe "simply" there should be in quotes, for it is a sad fact, changing my mind is one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do in/for my spiritual growth. It is so hard because it requires me to let go of the idea that I already know or I should know, which is the ultimate ego-resistor.

I was sharing my experience with anxiety yesterday with a friend who is stuck in the exact same place I was some years back. Afraid to go forward, afraid to go back, afraid. And the real fear is not afraid of making a mistake, which is what it seems to be; no, the real fear is of the anxiety that sits in our belly, saying, "You move, and I'll get you." So we don't move, and then it gets us.

I learned the only way through my anxiety (which drove me like a slave owner, because it was) was to silently welcome the attack when I felt the first twinge. My reasoning mind's solution is to clinch, to guard against, to resist...we must go beyond reason to love, i.e., acceptance, surrender, God.

I had learned that spiritual principles can solve every problem...since there is a spiritual solution to every problem, I asked for God's solution. I was gifted with the magic of non-resistance...through welcome, through "thank You."

I found one of my notes to me in my "God Calling" recently. I'd written, "Was able to let an anxiety attack dissolve within me on the Metro yesterday." Those of us who suffer anxiety know what a miracle that was. And, I hasten to add, it did not stop my anxiety attacks. Believing that we now have a way to control them, just gives them power.

I learned that what I got was better than control of my anxiety (in which case, I'd always need to be on guard against it). What I got was the solution to the fear of them. Feel an attack coming on? Welcome it with a "thank You"...the non-resistance releases the fear of it, and we're now on the right track, going forward...toward shaping our minds. I have had enough positive experiences now that I know this to be true.

The kick in the pants is realizing that "shaping our minds" requires us to quit trying to use our minds as our protection, as our safety net, our fail safe...we learn to let God use our reasoning mind as and how He wills. And all we're required to remember is a simple "thank You."

Thank You.

THE WILLINGNESS TO TRY

We look for God 'out there' and the Spirit is always ‘in here’ and ‘in between’ everything. Now even science is revealing to us that the energy of the universe is not in the particles or planets—but in the relational space between them! 

– from a recent daily meditation of Fr. Richard Rohr

Eckhart Tolle, in his book “The Power of Now,” wrote of the power of pondering on the space between words, using whatever spiritual tract we choose for our meditation. I read the words, I got no connection.

When I read the above quote of Fr. Rohr recently, I started doing the space-between meditation with the 23rd Psalm, my chosen spiritual tract.

I am doing it…very imperfectly, but I am doing it.

My blinding flash of the obvious this morning: However I do it is pleasing to my Lord because it is proof of my willingness to try…like a child with alphabet blocks getting them in a bass-ackward row and proudly showing her Father…who beams in approval at her effort.

Thank You.

PASSING IT ON

Someone said, "Once we can accept mercy, it is almost natural to hand it on to others. You become a conduit of what you yourself have received."

There it is: The basis for the Golden Rule, "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you."

It isn't all about willing ourselves to do good...it is all about getting out of the way (i.e., accepting) so that goodness can pass to and through us (we become a conduit) for the benefit of others.

Thank You.

WE ARE, AFTER ALL, ONE

The most difficult part of "I shall fight no more forever" for me is that by not fighting, or even resisting, I fear I give the impression of being whatever negative another chooses to think of me.

For instance, many years ago just as I was dipping my toe into spiritual learning, Sam the Unwonderful did me dirt. My whole world knew of it, and whenever we saw him, we all made sure he knew what a dirt-bag we thought he was...only all that did was fire the furnace of resentment in my belly, and before long my thoughts had him guilty of everything but the disappearance of Jimmy Hoffa. Negative plus, with all my self-justified snubs, I never felt good within me about me.

Through sheer desperation, I was finally led to begin thinking kind thoughts about him...to start thinking of his good, and when I saw him, I'd give him a hug and a hello, and I felt sooo much better within me about me.

Unfortunately it wasn't long before the quiet word drifted back to me that not only Sam the Unwonderful, but my friends, too, thought I was nuts, that I was trying to reconnect with him, that I was blah, blah, blah. The gift of grace was I did not even consider going backward…it may have been my first “let the whirling dervishes whirl” (from the Acceptance pamphlet).

Something akin to this is now happening again, and I am reminded of my talk with my spiritual adviser back then. She reminded me of the path I so want to walk and of my commitment to myself and my Self to stay the course no matter my ego's red blare.

I reread Matthew 5:44 which is all about giving over to "them which persecute you" (or as I laughingly call them which persecute me, "liars, thieves, cheats and whores"). It is the first sentence of 5:45 ("That ye may be the [child] of your Father which is in heaven....") where the whole reason for giving over is found: That I “may be,” not that "I may feel like," or "that I may hope to become," or "that in the great Hereafter I may be” the child of my Father which is in heaven. No, that I may now be, and further that I may be and in the doing, I am the proof of the pudding for others to see and realize that it works...spiritual thinking, feeling, doing, being works for us.

As I said, something akin to this is happening again, and, even though sometimes it can still feel like I'm arm-wrestling with God, I am grateful for my past experience of grace. Reminding myself of that time removes the idea that I need to take some self-centered action here...and blow up my hard-earned peace of mind.

Not mine to fix, mine to detach from, to give over to "them"...for by giving over to them, I give over to God. We are, after all, One.

Thank You.

HE IS...OR IS IT SHE?

I was reading Fr Richard Rohr's morning meditation, and came across a point that I keep observing about the gender used in spiritual literature. Per Rohr, "We can name them all with masculine words (as we have done up to now), we can name them with feminine or neutered words if you wish, but in both cases you can miss the precise way that they relate to one another—and thus miss the major point."

There is the truth of the matter...for it does not matter what gender we use, God either is or God is not...can do all or not much...is all-encompassing forgiveness or dicey, guess-why, punishment. That is the decision we must make. Do we believe God is, can do all, is forgiveness or is just another harsh disciplinarian...not whether He is or is it She? That is just our ego-based reasoning mind, quibbling us to distraction. 

We must go beyond the reasoning mind to get to Truth.

Thank You.

THE MOMENT IS THE NOW

Whatever our primary worry is at the moment, whatever we are entirely focused on…that is the god of our understanding at the moment. And the moment is all we have...the moment is the Now.

We pray to the God of our understanding, our problem, asking it to fix our problem. Is that likely to happen? Our problem cannot be fixed by our problem. Especially when our problem only exists in our reasoning mind…we simply need change our mind.

Go beyond reason to love…love being grace, gratitude, God.

Thank You.

THANK YOU FOR WHAT IS RIGHT NOW

We can only see who You are in what is. -- From the Trinitarian Prayer of Fr. Richard Rohr’s today’s daily meditation.

If we can only see who God is in what is, then what is right this very minute is good...no matter how it looks to our reasoning mind's eye. So our prayer must be “Thank You” [for my everything just as it is right this very minute], rather than “Please” [make this (a) go away, (b) be different so that it will benefit me].

Thank You.

DON'T LAMENT, PRAISE

[The following is a blog of mine from May 31, 2011.]

My blinding flash of the obvious this morning: Where two or more are gathered, do not lament, praise. 

I’m not a big “lamenter,” but I natter to Ruckus a lot. So I pondered my BFO, and I have decided as an exercise each day to take some time to consciously praise that which I am nattering about.

Two things instantly popped up…both itsy-bitsy items of no account whatsoever, except to my nattering mind. One had to do with a cartoon that a friend sent that I interpreted and resisted as politicizing Memorial Day, the other a remark a friend had made about watering plants. I hadn’t even realized I had personalized that remark until I heard me nattering about it this morning.

I consciously took some 10 minutes to just think each of those through, being thankful for seeing each as pure, just pure, nothing personal attached to either. I felt better for just having done the exercise…we’ll see what, if any, results I get (meaning how natter-free I remain).

Thank You.

THE FORCE FIELD

Out beyond ideas of right doing and wrong doing,

There is a field. I'll meet you there. --Rumi

This is the field beyond the idea of right doing, wrong doing...this is the Force field.

When we finally realize that the Father and I are one...that there is a Force, alive within our being...from that moment, our single purpose needs be to "step aside so that It can do a little more while we do a little less." How else do we learn unto breathing that God has our backs?

Thank You.

DETACH AND FIND

One of the major problems in the spiritual life is our attachment to our own self-image—either positively or negatively created. We confuse this idea of ourselves with who we actually are in God.

-- Fr. Richard Rohr

It seems to me that is the major problem in life itself...our attachment to our own self-image. "Relieve me of the bondage of self."

We may be born into self-image as our higher power...that may be the long journey home. We go out there looking for that which we are leaving, crash and burn (make our U-bie), and head home. Those are the fortunate few.

Not all of us crash and burn...some make that which to the reasoning mind looks like a very successful life in the material world. Some are willing to live in that which to the reasoning mind looks like utter chaos, including personal pain and degradation. Some just limp along through this life, neither happy nor unhappy...just here. 

All are attached to self-image as our personal god. It is in detaching from our own [anything] that we find [everything].

Thank You.

THE FORCE, UNSTIFLED

The change comes when we begin to believe, through our own experience, that our spiritual growth is beneficial to others...not through our words, not through our telling anyone anything, but by our very life.

The surest way to stifle It is to try to do Its work for It...that immediately becomes an ego-driven proposition, and we're back to wondering if there even is a God.

The Spirit shows forth, the Inner walks the Outer. We need not even know how or for whom...we need only give our thanks that It is.

Thank you.

ON REMEMBERING TO GO FIRST TO THE LORD

There's an old gospel song with the line "Where can I go but to the Lord?" That is the answer. Always and all ways. In every situation, every perceived problem, minor or major. All we  need do is remember...just remember...to go first to the Lord and to stay there.

We learn to go to the Lord, but first? And stay there? It's hard to stay there because we so rarely get the reasoning mind's solution to the perceived problem. And for sure not immediately. But that, too, is the process of learning...bringing ourselves back to remembering our decision to give over, give over.

If we could and/or would first problem in life go to the Lord and stay there, I'm guessing our journey on this earth would be over. Maybe that's why babies are taken at birth, at age 6, or young people in their prime...they got it in its entirety, go home. Maybe not, but I like the idea better than the painfully resisting, "Why?"

Thy will not ours is being done...resist not.

Thank You.

FOR THE BENEFIT OF OTHERS

I'm thinking the reason accepting God's will is so hard is it so seldom aligns with our want...as we want it.

We want something, not even something for ourselves, we discuss it with our friends and mentor, we are assured that it is a good thing, nothing selfish about it, meets all the spiritual criteria. Then we go for it, and BAM...we fall flat on our face, the job doesn't come through, our partner books, the child doesn't get up and walk, the pet must be put down anyhow.

It's a rude and wonderful awakening when we realize that this, too, is God's will.

This is called surrender...which is simply giving up our idea of what is good and essential, and accepting what is. Period. Accepting, a.k.a., quit resisting.

It is only when we quit resisting that we can begin to deal with what is, just as it is. The difference is we have now opened ourselves to willingness in order for God to lead us through...and the whole picture changes.

We now know that we are no longer in control...in charge...responsible for the outcome. We finally understand that we must follow the leader, and the leader ain't us. Now we work with and for the leader, and wondrous happenings occur...for the benefit of others if we're doing it right. And that's when, where and how our glory begins...with that realization.

Thank You.

ALIGNING OUR WILL WITH GOD'S WILL

[The following is a blog of mine from February 27, 2012.]

Nothing has more strength than dire necessity. — Euripides

That pretty much describes how needs are met. “The Father knows our needs,” does not mean that the Father will either gift us with our need fulfilled or make our need disappear…no, He gives us strength we know naught of to do what needs doing.

Wants, on the other hand, are pretty much dependent on our willingness to do other than beg God for a freebie. In general, God isn't going to do for us what we can do for ourselves. Plus, there are a lot of wants that God isn't about to touch and neither should we, but that seldom stops us, does it?

There…that’s an excellent reason for aligning our will with God’s will.

Thank You.

SELF-WILL CAN RELEASE NOTHING

Morning blinding flash of the obvious: The only discipline we must heed is the discipline of the Soul. Our only choice is the timing...when will we accept the discipline.

Don't let it be in the next lifetime or the one after that, because we keep coming back until we get it right, and "it" is every last nit and niggle within us that opposes the will of God.

What if we got 99.9% clear and had to come back for that last .1% and STILL didn't get it right? What if that's why we're here now...for that .1% that we are afraid to let go of...afraid to even learn what it is that we're holding to?

We must turn inward (and outward) for help because self-will cannot release it. Self-will can only cling to it, making the effort to release it our only focus, our God, in effect. By our very effort to release it, we hold it tighter, binding ourselves to it as if it were our safety rope. It is not, it is our hangman's noose.

Loose it and let it go.

Thank You.

DIAMONDS AND FOREVER

We shall find peace.

We shall hear angels.

We shall see the sky sparking with diamonds!

-- Chekhov

Lucy in the sky with diamonds....

-- The Beatles

We find our diamonds wherever we find our diamonds...but they are only forever when we find our diamonds within ourselves.

Thank You.

ACCEPTING ONE'S PURPOSE

This is the true joy in life, 

the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself 

as a mighty one. 

-- George Bernard Shaw

IT ALL BEGINS WITHIN

Simply changing my own mind about something that originated in my own mind, based on my own opinion is the hardest for me.

I was talking with a person in my condo recently, and she was sharing that she'd told her pastor about "this really nice lady who has a dog named Ruckus." She was talking about me, and I was very touched. I was very touched because when first I met her, I just wanted to put a whole lot of gone between us. I just didn't take to her. But I thought of all the running my mind and mouth I do on love, and I consciously decided to move closer to her...to think welcoming thoughts when I see her, which isn't all that often, but to make an effort to simply change my original impression which had become my opinion almost on thought. And now I really do feel welcoming when I see her, when we stop and chat.

Which brings me to another person toward whom I feel less than wonderful. Unfortunately, I have spared neither my thoughts in the thinking nor my tongue in the saying how I feel.

The trouble with still more spiritual growth is that it works. I'm now feeling really uncomfortable about my badmouthing, because it is true that no matter how justified I feel, badmouthing is just picking up mud and slinging it in my own face.

I do know that having a change of heart, becoming willing to change my mind, is all that is necessary to invite God's perfect work to begin. Mine to stay in the attitude of invitation, as in, clean up my own thoughts with which my own tongue becomes kinder (without becoming show-off sweet, kind, considerate, lovable and generous...phony, in a word).

It seems to me that spiritual growth begins within, gets completed by the Father within, and only shows forth when the action is completed...and we are usually the last to know.

Thank You.

SIT AND WAIT ON THE LORD

I have come to believe that our every word and action are the tools we have chosen for God to use in leading us back to the Father within.

I have done many things with my goal being still more spiritual growth and had the results be P.U. Ugly. Then I'd beat me up for way too long.

I have come to see that when we look at the results of such words or actions and regret them, we are staying in our reasoning mind, holding God at bay. We need to be still...to still our minds...and then to wait in order for God to interpret those very words and actions from God's view.

And there's the real stumbler: first, stilling our minds; second, waiting. For God is a real drag-foot to my reasoning mind. On the other hand, He makes no mistakes. My reasoning mind sure can't claim that even when it's bending reality for its own benefit...i.e., lying to itself.

Again, the answer is in the old tried and true: Sit and wait on the Lord.

Thank You.

THE GIFT OF GOD AND GRACE...SILENCE

The greatest impediment to our spiritual growth may well be our inability/refusal to fully accept our gifts of grace, to integrate them within, and then to live them...without words.

If our lives are not showing it, we have not fully accepted it, and it is still up yonder...in our heads.

Thank You.

GOD MEANT IT FOR GOOD

Is it possible for the Four Splits – body and mind, ego and soul, life and death, self and other – to be healed in this world, on this plane? That healing, that being made One, is necessary in order to know the fourth dimension.

I never seem to be able to feel any inside healing when I’m striving for inside healing. It seems I realize incredible healings within only after the fact. When I look back at my life,  I see some service I’ve given, some words I’ve spoken, some just being there I’ve done, and all of them were quite literally no big deal to me. But, in the after-the-fact, I recognize how my unplanned aid was used for the good of another.

That is humbling because quite often I also recognize my original motive, and, it was rarely for another…more likely, it was CYA on my part. Recognizing that interaction helps me recall less than wonderful things done to me. I get to refocus my first take, i.e., that there was a wrong done me, and see it as having been God’s gift to me.

Reminds me of Joseph’s punch line after his brothers sold him into slavery in Egypt. He later became the Pharaoh’s aide-de-camp, and the brothers came sniveling to him for help, apologizing for having done him dirt. His response was, “You meant it for ill, but God meant it for good.”

There’s our shortcut when someone steps on our toes seemingly without provocation. Remind ourselves s/he meant it for ill but God meant it for good…then focus on passing God’s good on.

Thank You.

WHAT IF?

[The following is a reprint of my blog of August 5, 2009.]

Give me your tired, your poor,

Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,

The wretched refuse of your teeming shore,

Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,

I lift my lamp beside the golden door!

What if those words, found at the base of the Statue of Liberty, represented our real immigration policy?

What if the primary purpose of business was service to and for the benefit of the customer instead of profit to and for the benefit of the owner/stockholders?

What if the peoples of the world knew…truly knew…that bad business gets you bad business?

What if you suspected that “give until you hurt or you will hurt until you give” is a fact of life?

What if “do unto others as you would have them do unto you” were practiced by all, always and all ways?

What if you knew you really could change the world for the better by being just a little more giving each day?

What if the person who had stolen your good name, got you fired from your job, and ran away with your spouse needed your blessing to die at peace…and you knew God was listening, loving you the same no matter what your choice?

What then?

Thank You.

THE FATHER WITHIN

It matters not, child, parent or pet, when he is not well, when she is dying, when he is simply misbehaving, that is our god in that moment...sometimes our god of tender mercies, sometimes our god of painful recognition, sometimes our god of frustration...but always our total focus.

Why can't we focus like that on the "Father within who doeth the works?"

Thank You.

RELEASING THE IMPRISONED SPLENDOUR

That which we are seeking  is within us right now. We cannot of ourselves release it...only God can, and then only when He knows we are ready.

Our job is to make ourselves available to God every day without fail  for we never know when the release will come. When we are ready, we are given the free gift of grace, and we are free.

As Browning said, we make ourselves available in order that "the imprisoned splendour may escape."

Thank You.

KNOW PEACE AND WALK FREE IN OUR OWN HEAD

Acceptance, most everybody agrees, is the answer to life's unwanted happenings. Too often we believe just be knowing that, that we have done it...that we've accepted this thing that seemed unacceptable just five minutes before. Does that seem likely?

The path to acceptance is made clearer once we realize that acceptance is essentially surrender. The difference between the two is that acceptance sounds prettier, sounds softer, more palatable...surrender, by its very nature, i.e., giving over, will never sound pretty, soft or palatable to the reasoning mind's standards.

One way to acceptance starts by standing before the bathroom mirror, and saying, out loud: "I have given up fighting anything and anybody. Thank you, Lord," and "I will fight no more forever. Thank you, Chief Joseph." We note that both quotes are all about fighting. That is what we are giving up...fighting. So surrender, looked at from a different angle, comes to mean "make peace."

Say I have a problem with Gertrude, with John. I need to set her/him straight, and everybody agrees I am right (because they have heard my side of the story...repeatedly).

I choose to fight her in my head or him in the home or them in the work place no more. I of myself cannot do that...I know from having tried enough time for the definition of insanity to ring in my mind every time I go there. I know God can, and I know that from my experience and from the experience of my friends.

I turn to God and make my surrender to It: "Take me and all my troubles and do anything you want with me." Then, when his name comes to mind or her actions start thinking for me...and they will...change my mind. I remind me that God owns me and all my troubles, and I think of lilies of the valley, Ruckus, the Life of Pi...all things of beauty that give me peace.

The hardest part of all is learning, yet again, that there are no one-shot deals. But the time will come (fairly quickly if we stay on the surrender side) when the thought of Gertrude or John or whomever will bring a grin, and we will see how seriously we had been taking ourselves in the first place.

We know peace, and we walk free in our own head.

Thank You.

THE GOLDEN RULE...DOING IT

[The is a reprint of my blog of September 25, 2009.]

If “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you” doesn’t speak to you, what about “noblesse oblige,” the almost forgotten act of those who have, seeing to the welfare of those who have not. It’s associated with the nobility, but at one time so was money. Today, those who have the most money seem to be the least noble.

“I heard the news today…oh boy.”

It only gets grimmer, it seems. The incredible, the obscene amounts of money a teeny percentage of the people of the world have and control.  Many of those same people living in fear they won’t get more or will lose what they have…some are lying, cheating, stealing to hold onto what they have AND get still more.

Clearly, the hard part for me is to sit not in judgment of those rich folk, to waste not my hard-earned peace on righteous indignation…which only leads to a feeling of moral superiority, the camouflage of the dishonest wannabe. And it doesn't matter what it is I wannabe…rich, so I can show “them” how they should act; Mother Teresa-like, so people will see how poor, done right, is enviable…makes no never mind, it is dishonest…which is of course what I’m looking down my nose at in the first place, dishonest other people.

Peace, be still.

Thank You.

TO GRIEVE IS TO PRAY

One night a man was crying, Allah! Allah!

His lips grew sweet with the praising,

until a cynic said,

"So! I have heard you

calling out, but have you ever 

gotten any response?"

The man had no answer to that.

He quit praying and fell into a confused sleep.

He dreamed he saw Khidr, the guide of souls,

in a thick green foliage.

"Why did you stop 

praising?"

"Because I've never heard anything back."

"This longing 

you express is the return message."

The grief you cry out from 

draws you toward union.

Your pure sadness that wants help 

is the secret cup.

Listen to the moan of a dog

for its master.

That whining is the connection.

There are love-dogs

no one knows the names of.

Give your life

to be one of them.

-- The Illuminated Rumi

I'M GLAD I BELIEVE IT WAS GOD

I was walking Ruckus this morning, and all the sudden he came up lame. His right front paw was just hanging there as he limped along. So I took him inside where I could see his paw and there was a big splinter. I gingerly pulled on it, but it was stuck...I pulled harder, it stayed stuck, and my boy started whimpering.

I was taken back in memory to a time 30 some years ago. Was a beautiful spring day, and I had all my windows open with a wonderful cross-breeze. I heard a loud, ugly buzzing, looked over to my front window, and there was a huge bug caught outside between the screen and the sill. I got a wire and went over to try to push/pry it loose. Did not move, it was stuck. I tried harder, and it became apparent I was going to kill the bug trying to save it.

So, I said to it, "Sweetie, you have the same God I do, and you're going to have to trust it to free you because I can't." I turned and walked away. The loud, ugly buzzing became a soft whirring, I looked over my shoulder, and the bug was free, flying away. I have never forgotten that, and I thought of it when my boy whimpered.

So I said to him, "Ruckus, darlin', you've got the same God I do, and we're going to let him do his thing because I'm not helping." Just as I was putting Ruckus down, the splinter fell out into my hand.

As my friend Jackie says, "Is it odd, or is it God?" There are those who would say that I had loosened it, and it just fell out then. I say it was God, both times,  and I love that I believe that.

Thank You.

FORGIVENESS...GETTING AND GIVING

[This is a reprint of my blog of October 27, 2008.]

Recently, I saw on TV a man who had financed a seriously dirty campaign against another person. He was asked his feelings now about his actions which are still being talked about some years later. He said he regretted nothing, that he’d made his peace with God.

It occurred to me that God wasn't the one he needed to make his peace with…it was the person who was attacked. In effect, he picked up mud, threw it at another, and it wound up on his own face…after which he asked God’s pardon.  

It makes no difference if the other party has long since forgiven and/or forgotten me. As long as I have made no attempt to right my wrong with the person affected, my wrong stays with me…the mud clings to my face for all my world to see. 

And giving a hundred…a million!…bucks to charity in the wronged person’s name is not going to clean that mud off my face.

Praying to God about it, telling God how wrong I know I was, nada…a good start, but no cigar. For God has already forgiven me, God saw no wrong in me to begin with. That’s God’s job. It’s mine to bring myself in alignment with His standards. Meaning, I will get the mud off my face only in proportion to my direct, sincere atonement…with God’s perfect will as my guide.

For God alone knows all there is to know about the situation. It may be that to speak to the person wronged would cause more pain…God knows that. So, to get the mud off, I need to truly open myself to God’s perfect will…usually by asking a trusted person’s advice, then following it.

God’s hand is in it when all sides come out the winner…when all concerned are healed…wiped clean as it were.

Thank You.