I remember sometime ago when a friend of mine took exception to something she thought I'd said. She exploded, chewed me a new one in fact. We did the necessaries, made up, and been fine since...but always with a hairline of underlying tension running between us.
I still feel a tish of resentment, a soupcon (to quote Chet) of hurt feelings, an edge of justification for my part in it...and I do not doubt that those are the exact feelings of my friend for herself. In truth, that is what is keeping the hairline of underlying tension in place. I know, however, that whoever lets go first (gets over herself first) "wins" which allows the other to feel like a winner, and we both come out with love in our hearts.
Which, of course, sets up the most important question: If I do believe that, why don't/won't I "just do it," just let go?
Is that simply the human condition?
It seems to me lately that I'm hearing a lot of "that's the human condition." About most every unexamined stumbling block in our daily life, in fact. But I believe that the human condition is such that we need to live by a higher standard than we’d naturally choose...else "human condition" risks becoming an excuse, a cop-out, a CYA for doing what we want to do because we want to do it. Which may or may not be true...it's just what it seems to me today.
As for me, I've got too many human conditions as it is...and none of them have ever given me peace of mind. I'm going to continue praying, "Bless her, change me."
Thank You.
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