I am amazed when I read my spiritual dailies (the same three I've been reading for a whole bunch of years), and there's something that I've underlined two to ten different times...and it feels brand new and WOW to me.
Just this morning, there were mind ticklers in each of my books...a couple I had underlined from previous readings, and one that I'd never consciously noted before: "...make follow-up calls tonight to those who haven't returned mine."
I do that today, call again when a call of mine hasn't been returned. Chances are I came to it because of that very phrase. I do know it took me a long time to get over my own self in order to do it. My self-centered preference was to sit in silence, sulking about being unloved, unneeded, unwanted and unappreciated...all because I didn't get one returned call. I, of course, refused to make another because clearly s/he did not want to hear from me ever again in this lifetime.
I used to think the saying, "It hurts so good!" originated with sex but now I think it originated in victim thinking. Hopping on the treadmill of unlovedunneededunwantedunappreciated (that's one word when we're into it) is not easily hopped off...and purely because "It hurts so good!"
As my friend Sam used to say, "Self-pity is seductive because it's so sincere."
Another goodie this morning, "Failure comes from depending too much on your own strength," which is what we do when we get on the victim treadmill. Rather than ask for help from God or wo/man, we choose to depend on ourselves alone...for how else are we going to get that warm and wonderful poor, pitiful, put-upon-me feeling?
And God laughs.
Thank You.
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