TO BANISH FEAR, WELCOME FEAR

Fear. The very word causes a sense of trepidation.

Realizing that fear is never permanently lifted out of us is good news/bad news for it is that unwelcome realization that focuses our head and our heart on acceptance of that reality, that truth. 

And we set to pondering.

It is with a sense of dread that we recognize fear's greatest ally is fear itself...ah, but its greatest foe is thank you. 

It is only in looking back that we understand that all our thinking, studying and questioning were necessary for us to finally crash and burn in defeat...a.k.a., acceptance.   

Only when we fully accept that fear is there for us always does our mind open to the spiritual truth, and in a blinding flash we see that nothing turns us to God faster than fear. It may be that fear is a tool to God for his use to light our path out of self into a higher consciousness deeper. 

We see that our self-determined objective, thus our prayer, had been for God to lift fear from us...to give us peace of mind...to make our crooked places straight. In that instant we know that God's perfect objective is, and is ever, already answered...we were just awakening to that truth sealed up within us.

All our prayers "to get" are already fulfilled...seldom as we envision, but better. We need only pray thank you and be at peace.

Thank you.

ON BLESSING OUR MISTAKES...THANK YOU

When still more spiritual growth becomes our sincerest goal, our thinking is upgraded, lifted from the material to the spiritual. 

Stayed in the material mind, we spend the better part of our lives trying to make that happen.

We fret, stew, worry and weep over our human mistakes all the while reading, studying, thinking on how we can use God's will to make our human mistakes unhappen. We've come to the fork in the road...or, U-bie time! 

There is such a simple fix, a fix requiring nothing extra from God. That fix is, When wrong, promptly admit it. 

However, that simple fix is the egoic mind's super power, the bane and the block to most spiritual growth, for that mind will ever read,  If wrong, promptly admit it. 

It takes as long as it takes for us to realize that super power is powerless in the face of when. When wrong is egoless...God's hidey-hole.

 

It is still more spiritual growth in the form of thank you that teaches us our mistakes make our turnaround, our change of mind. Thank you turns us from "for the benefit of self" toward others..."for the benefit of others." 

My love and laugh idea of still more spiritual growth is in a "thinking of you" card I once received: The front shows a kitty on her yoga mat with her bottle of water beside her. She is twisted into an incredibly complex yoga position, and she has a most disgruntled look on her face. Inside, the card reads, 'I meditate, I do yoga, I chant...and I still want to smack someone!'

There's me doing my spiritual work through yoga, seeking to change, and I am still with me...ensuring I continue seeking still more spiritual growth.

Thank you.

THE SERMON...GO HIGHER TO GET DEEPER

The gift we get by studying the Sermon on the Mount every morning is that a whole new way of understanding those literal words comes to us. Fr Richard Rohr says that literal is the least honest way to understand, which I take to mean that to stay in the literal meaning of the Sermon's words is to miss the higher meaning hidden underneath.

This morning, I'm again at the place about not committing adultery, and I get that "adultery" is just a word covering all the "sins."

There are many for whom adultery, per se, is not on the table, but gossip, judgments, perfidy, et al., for sure are. All of our thinking, feeling, doing, being that we know is not spiritually fit are covered there.

Face it, there are those of us who love to hear gossip even as we sit with our lips sealed feeling sanctimonious. We love to sit in silent judgment, love our own anxiety, love not trusting God completely. We know we love these because we do them so consistently...all the while praying for God to relieve us of them.

The Sermon's literal directions are to pluck them out...throw them away. Our translation: "Upgrade your attitude, upgrade your problem." "Upgrade your thinking, upgrade your life." Change your mind.

It is self-confidence we want; it is God-confidence we need. We must beware of the arrogance of self-confidence, often a cover for insecurity. True self-confidence is self-acceptance and must include like acceptance of others.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding...or, Thy will, not mine, be done.

Thank you.

TRUST GOD...PROVE IT

We waste our time in trying to let go of a defect of character...digging, talking, digging, trying a different something, digging. It is not the defect that holds our pain, but our resistance to the defect that stays the hurt. 

    

It is breaking from our self-will, not breaking from the defect but our resistance to the defect, that will free us from the bondage of self. We break from our resistance by nonresistance, say with a simple thank you, and God sweeps clean our obsession with that particular defect.

Shortly after I wrote the above, I came across this from unknown-to-me Minister Adele Ahlberg Calhoun:  Aging has always been about simplifying and letting go.

How apropos is that? Aging. A fairly universal reaction to aging is resistance...all the physical, mental and spiritual gyrations we go to and through to keep aging at bay...or at any rate the appearance of aging at bay. 

Lest we ever had a doubt, it is not just resistance to defects, addictions, bad habits and self-determined objectives that hinder our peace, stay our spiritual growth. It is resistance, plain and simple. 

Face it, aging is doing life exactly right. Our pain is in the process, i.e., how we look, how we feel...wrinkles, gray hair, no energy, less want-to...not to mention the unknown end result. The fact that it is not shareable with a pal or a partner causes us serious pause. Or panic.

Then we come to the realization that aging is all about simplifying and letting go, the how-to of which we have been studying, striving, wanting for years.

Here again is proof that God has already prepared the perfect answer for us, and that it is only available Now. It is our mental preparation (change your mind!) that brings our comfort. 

Our entire preparation is our trust...trust that God has already prepared our perfect answer no matter the question.  

Trust God...now go prove it.

Thank you.

ON LEARNING TO LOVE...OR, LOVE

For anything to be a virtue, it must be a free choice, not just a mandate....Jesus' words must be seen as descriptive (what is possible) much more than prescriptive (what must be done)….'No language of counting or commanding can get you there.' -- Fr Richard Rohr, "Daily Meditation," September 22, 2012.

If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate. -- Nikka, 6

Blinding flash of the obvious: To learn to love better, love.

According to me, we need to expand our willingness to love...to love better we need to learn the art of nonresistance, i.e., love. 

We do not get to kiss it on the lips and let it go until we own our feelings about it, i.e., love it. Then we can hug it and kiss it and let it go for Now it walks free in our own head, the only place it bothered us to begin with.

Thank you.

FLYING HIGH...AND SPLATTERING, II

[This is a reprint of my post of November 19, 2013.]

I'm reading some really high-flown spiritual material, and I'm underlining in red, highlighting in yellow, putting exclamation points out to the side in green...I am flying.

I put my head back to rest and to ponder all this, and my first thought? My very first thought is that I've got to tell Gertrude how wrong she is, how disrespectful not only to me but to blahblahblah. It was, or it felt like, an hour before I caught myself...before I reined my thoughts in and brought them back to reality. The reality that God is ever with me and so is my ego.

The good news...no, the great news...is, that God loves me so much he encourages me to laugh at myself. My ego? Not going to happen, not only no....

"Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused."

Thank you.

EVERY SECOND PREPLANNED...FOR GOOD

Resist not evil...there's my go-to. I believe nonresistance is the answer no matter the question. But the hook, the determiner on whether we get peace of mind from not resisting is our mindset at the outset.  

We must remember this: Not resisting is giving up self-determined objectives through God consciousness. 

There it is...it is our consciousness that needs be changed. Our consciousness of good and evil needs become a consciousness of good. Otherwise, we'll continue self-determining with either/or as our yardstick, and that's ego's homebase. To give up resisting by sheer will, no matter how justified we feel, is resisting resisting.  

We seek still more spiritual growth and that is all, and we put no labels on exactly what, how, when or why we seek still more spiritual growth. 

We start saying thank you for all things...every oncoming "oh-no," every already present "well, rats," every less-than-wonderful. These are God's slivers of gold, their purpose being to "bring us to heel," so to speak. Face it, superficially wonderful ensures self keeps trying for superficially wonderful...it is less-than-wonderful that turns us to God. 

Realization is dawning. We recognize all that happens...and that means especially the reasoning mind resistibles...are of God and therefore good. Toward that good, we begin by welcoming with thank you.

The words of eternal Life are all the words controlling your being, even controlling your temporal life....Take all that happens as My planning. -- "God Calling," September 24

Thank you.

BECOME ANONYMOUS TO SELF

Knowing our true identity as sons and daughters of God can save us thousands of dollars in psychotherapy. Knowing that everyone else is a child of God— and treating them as such—can save the world! -- Fr Richard Rohr, "Daily Meditation," July 23, 2021

My hardest lesson to learn has been my own realization of my true identity as a child of God. I have come to accept realization as being born in the Soul, entering the heart and traveling to the head for implementation...to see, hear, speak and pass on.

Accepting that that realization is not a "gettable," is not to strive for, to study for, to barter or bargain for is the second lesson. The first lesson is we must do each and all of those...that is called "learning." Finding that well, that didn't work is learning. 

The reasoning mind, ever on autopilot, will keep doing its thing over and over again...but calling it insanity is a copout. To me, it is fear...fear of trusting that Unknown that we are trying so hard to get...striving, studying, barter and bargaining for to get. There..."we have to do it wrong to get it right."

 

We are drawn to look deeper, that is nonresistance...we resist not our reasoning mind's "wrong again" message and shuck our shields. We become anonymous to self-interest, self-protection, self...ah, and we find love. We find love basically through laughter at our own sense of seriousness about our part in the whole thing. Our part in the whole thing is hug it, kiss it on the lips, let it go. Or, resist not.

All this can be boiled down to hold your nose and take a leap of faith. But we must needs do it all...every "jot and tittle"...to be able to look back and understand we could have held our nose and taken a leap of faith. 

According to Rohr (and one of my favorite Rohr quotes), We don't get to God by doing it right, we get to God by doing it wrong. And isn't that a comfort!

Thank you.

CLING TO NOTHING...FLY!

I am with God in his hidey hole. As I seek to be relieved of my defect of omission, I strain not...God is there within me/without me, and I know 'All is well.'

I have long identified a serious defect of character of mine as one of omission rather than commission...as in, I hang back, hide out, speak not (and judge silently). I have sought relief from that defect, and I have come a long way...not far enough to quit thanking God for it, but we've made a dent.

This morning in my quiet time, I was blessed with the above flash, and I knew that defect of character was on its way to being transmuted. 

It will remain with me, of course, but transmuted to me means it is changed for the better. If it just appeared to disappear, it could remain ever available to my reasoning mind. 

This has opened a new way for me. From experience I know that now when I catch myself hanging back, the very seeing invites a laugh, then I can move out a tish. 

Gutbucket knowing God is in this with us is trust... and that is all we need.

Cling to nothing...fly! --  from my mentor in Santa Fe in 1979 

Thank you.

BEING LED TO A LIVING HUMILITY

I am continuing to consciously build my trust in the God of my own understanding...and no doubt will be three days after I am dead. 

The work begins with opening our own hidey hole, our self-protected view of others, and exchanging that view for the feeling of unprotected acceptance of another. Hey! I suspect that is love, plain and simple. I hope I'm not getting above my raisin' to quote my grandma.

I know I cannot do better than model the trust given me by my pets, all love with pawprints. They had complete faith in me and that did not come from the fact that they could see me. They just made use of the love they were born with, let it grow and flow just as the proverbial mustard seed does. 

There...the mustard seed, whose only job is to grow, so grow it does. No nattering, coaxing, worrying, analyzing...it grows because God formed it, gave it its job to do, and set it free to be. Which, if we would only accept it, is just what he did for you and me.

Going with God's message seeming to be upside-down and backward, I trust God by knowing my less-than-wonderful personality traits are God's slivers of gold. These I get to accept as they lead me to a living humility, not removed to leave no trace until self "needs" them again.

I accept my foibles are correctable by God or acceptable through God...I can own them or blush through them, not deny, i.e., resist, them. 

I trust today knowing I live by God and by grace. My conscious choice is to do no harm either deliberately or with malice aforethought. Staying that course is my job and my joy...how far afield can I go?

He goes before us to make the crooked places straight. -- Isaiah 45:2

Thank you.

RESIST NOTHING...LOVE ALL

Resist not evil. -- The Sermon on the Mount

According to me...today...the secret to heaven is nonresistance. The secret of the secret is that our self-determined nonresistance is our reasoning mind trying harder...which is resistance.

Nonresistance is spiritual consciousness, ergo, we give up self-determined objectives through God consciousness...without our controlling it. Often, as our spiritual consciousness deepens, we do not realize the fact of our release until one day when we are looking back, and we comprehend the wonder of our seemingly inadvertent happy.

I'm considering this: Everything we resist qualifies as the Sermon's "evil." Face it, what we resist must by our resistance be unwanted...harmful, if only to our peace of mind. 

Quick thought...I'm also considering that avoidance is not resistance. We get to prove to ourself that we are willing for the change we seek, so we begin by avoiding our "evil"...uh-oh, and find that we can't! 

Blinding flash of the obvious: Avoidance is not resistance, it is "doing it wrong to get it right." This is the necessary crash and burn, when our angels lift us up, dust us off, and guide us through our U-bie, deeper to a higher place.

I go back to a favorite...'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate.' -- Nikka, 6. 

We can't get better directions for life itself. Look deeper, that is nonresistance...shucked down is anonymous to our own self interest...further down, and there is love, God's hidey-hole, the highest plane.

We must go beyond reason to love.

Thank you.

GRACIOUS AND AFFIRMING = A JOYFUL MIND

The "Daily Meditation" of Fr Richard Rohr recently had a list of how-to for a joyful mind. Each item on the list is excellent, but this one caused me pause: When your mind does not need to be in charge but can serve the moment with gracious and affirming information.

Here's me without a clue. The first time(s) I read that I skated right on by because it sounds so good. But the more I reread it, the more I reread it. 

I get when your mind does not need to be in charge, as in, I listen silently, respectfully, maybe to learn, say at a lecture, or maybe to enjoy, say at a concert. 

Ah, but can serve the moment with gracious and affirming information. What does that even mean to me?

Inner goodness has just slipped me a thought that I really like. I can consider it as meaning when my mind does not need to be in charge, I'm out in the garden admiring the roses and butterflies, and the moment is served by my kind and grateful thoughts. 

There...gracious and affirming, plus it gives me a joyful mind. Again, three homeruns with one swing of the bat.

Thank you.

WALK FREE...FEAR NAUGHT

The 23rd Psalm is rich in meanings hidden in their openness. 

I sailed by The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want for years before one fine morning I was gobsmacked by I shall not want. And I inner-knew, enough...I am enough, all I am and have is enough, I shall not want. Which called to mind the promise, your Father knows your needs. Ah, my Father within knows my needs, I shall not want.

This morning I inner-knew the valley of the shadow of death is any fear...little or large, size really does not matter.  

The valley of the shadow of death sounds so vast, so dark, and with evil as its dare? To say the least, that is off-putting to the anxiety prone such as I. According to the reasoning mind, don't even think about it. 

We are, however, moving on up deeper, and what a wonder! Spiritually, which is where we seek to live today, that valley of death is the equivalent of our prom night's fear of a broken fingernail...or the same as a chest-pain fear of a heart attack.  

The light shines brighter...we are enveloped in the consciousness of David's song: Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I shall fear no evil. Walk free.

We walk free from the worry of broken fingernails, cancer, or...best to self...of looking foolish.

Trust God, Clean house. Serve others...and walk free.

Thank you.

SERIOUSLY...BUT NOT TOO

Simplify. Detach. Love. Laugh. 

I have learned and I do believe that all we need do to model still more spiritual growth is there in four words: Simplify. Detach. Love. Laugh. 

It's my way simplified theory that animals, plants...all living but nonhuman beings...do God so well because they neither think about it nor feel the need to think about it...plus, they don't have opposable thumbs.

Most important...the sliver of gold running throughout...is that animals, et al.,  just Be. In their just Being, no nonhuman, animal, plant or mineral, takes itself seriously...not "too seriously," not "so seriously," just seriously, plain and simple. Possibly, probably, because they are not built to take themselves seriously...and who is most God-blessed then?

Uh-oh...my very next thought was that's my goal. But, face it, we cannot not take ourself too seriously by trying not to take ourself too seriously. Continuing ed...another and same-old-same-old lesson for living in the Now.

And there is God...grinning with love brimming. 

Thank you.

ON MODELING LOVE

When my little dog Ruckus went back to Heaven, I suffered...the loss, of course, but more, I suffered from thoughts that I did not love him enough...that I did not give him enough of me...that he coulda, woulda, shoulda known love more completely with another...my love was not enough.

In the light of my new day dawning, I get (again) that love is not measurable. My boy was loved...completely and utterly. He knew it, and he modeled it. ("Model it" is the new phrase I've lifted for "know it and show it.")

I'm thinking that to go beyond reason to love is just another way of saying spiritual growth requires that we go in the opposite direction of our human instincts. This is not to negate our human instincts, they are God's gift, too, and necessary in our walking around world. 

When I first read that modeling love, as opposed to talking it, is the way forward, Ruckus came full-picture to mind. He didn't model love, he was love...fluffy love with paws.  

That image led me to picture people I know and have known who model love...and wow! Thinking on the many different people exhibiting the many different ways that love walks amongst us is an exercise in expanding delight. I hope I add this to my quiet time because it all starts with the person needing love right now, i.e., my current nemesis, whose name is subject to change way too often.

That visualization proved that going beyond reason is the only way to love...love, like God, is not explainable. But then, God is love...and it all comes full circle.

Thank you.

CONNECTED OR NOT...LOVE AND LAUGH

The very dim light is brightening...there is a higher intelligence within us, without us, alive in the universe. Period.

I'll let that flow and see where I wind up: That higher intelligence is the divine I. Whether it be human, animal, rock, paper, scissors, flowers in the field, or fishes in the sea, each is "I" to itself. Each is known to itself as "I" but only humans have risen to the deeper capability of rational thought. Reasoning mind, then, is a deeper level higher...no wonder it's so hard to loose and let go. 

If that be true, loose it and let it go we must...to get to the place of unreason, God's hidey hole. 

In the material world, we all want healthy self-esteem, self-confidence, etc., based on fact not fantasy. We take comfort within by the measure of our outer success...how high have we risen in the work world, how many friends do we have or people do we mentor, how much money is in our bank account.

Getting to God's hidey hole, or just staying on the path forward, requires an inside U-bie. Now we are opened to and do ask of ourself that which we have been saying is necessary for still more spiritual growth...to give over, give up, give in for the benefit of others.

Our dim light dawning is that is not a goal we aim for...that is the ground floor for still more spiritual growth.

The depth is way different than our rational mind ever considered. We have been blessed with the need for more than our reasoning mind can offer by going for less than we can know. We begin to see beyond our previously talked about detachment from our wants for good health, healthy ego, lack of fear, more money. 

We are at the point of Now. The only future is Now. There are no crooked places Now. Give over, give up, give in is the only possible action Now.

As this flows, even as it flows, reason is giving it the old "Yeah, but...." 

Chances are slim to nil that we'll live this without thought...but we can know our connection by the fact that it flowed...the less we ponder, the more we can see. 

That feels like a trick question...I'm already starting to ponder on how not to ponder. And God grins.

Thank you.

WE TRUST GOD'S UNREASON

Morning blinding flash of the obvious:  There is an untapped higher intelligence deep within. Now is the time. Use it.

Ongoing thoughts: I am in a quandary about several things in my life today. My reasoning mind is all aflutter. I choose to accept that now is the time I am to trust that untapped inner power...to detach from reliance on my reasoning mind (but not to deny it).

A while back I wrote that it is detachment from reliance on our reasoning mind that sets us on the path to freedom. And yet today I am fraught with serious problems concerning my eyes and my ears...with petty problems about my car...with etc., etc., etc. 

There is a niggling question about all these being dicey at the same time...the old is it odd or is it God?

I am definitely seeing the appropriate doctors about eyes and ears, and I know that all the other stuff and nonsense will get taken care of one at a time. But I suspect that this is the time to trust that these, too, can be lifted up deeper. Not to be fixed as I want them to be fixed, but for the within fraught to be resolved...for there's the problem. 

I go to one of my favorite learning lessons: 'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate.' -- Nikka, 6

Doesn't make a lick of sense, does it? But there it is...we must go beyond reason to love laid out by a six-year-old.

In other words, go in the opposite direction of our wants. This is true of every happening in our life...trust each not to our reasoning mind, trust our reasoning mind to our inner power, our higher intelligence, to bring about our needs. 

We will never learn trust in the unreason by getting our wants met...spoiled children are the proof of that. 

I go with common sense for my day-to-day guardrail, and my daily get-together with God for my failsafe.  

Thank you.

FIRST REALIZE WHAT HIS KINGDOM IS

G. K. Chesterton, when asked what the trouble with the world is, replied, 'I am.'

Each time I read that quote, I know it for the truth...about all of us. But it only counts personally if I know it about me, then I seek better from me. 

If we're spiritually serious about exchanging the egoic mind for the spiritual mind, we are inviting a whole new level of understanding to come calling. We say we believe that our Father knows our needs, that we seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things shall be yours as well. We say.

We are on the path toward learning the difference in saying and believing and proving the truth of the matter. As in, "seek first his kingdom" requires that we have an idea for our own self what his kingdom even  is...what it represents to us personally. 

To me today "his kingdom" is out of self, deeper within into a higher dimension...there, where his righteousness lives. 

"His righteousness" is spelled out in the Sermon which goes entirely 100 percent against the egoic mind. It boils down to upside-down, mirror image, give over, give up, give in, and others first...our Father has our back.

As I continue to seek still more spiritual growth, I expect my understanding to change, to be upgraded down...shucked of its pretensions in fact. That's been my experience at any rate, but I hope I'm not surprised when "not what I expected" happens. 

Again, and yet again, We must go beyond reason to love.

Thank you.

IT'S THE DOING THAT MATTERS, II

[Following is a slightly reworked reprint of my post of December 21, 2017.]

I wonder if every word we utter isn't a prayer, if what we get isn't what we prayed for...albeit, unintentionally most often.

Sometime ago, I said in passing, a throwaway line in truth, that I'd like to be able to do as Jesus did when he stood accused before Pontius Pilate...stood silently before his judge, saying not a word.

I am here to shout that since I blathered that (now I recognize) bald-faced lie, I have been slandered, judged, found wanting and marginalized. Marginalized is just a fancy word for ignored, and, whoa Mama! There's my worst fear...with cleats.

I've got to say, I can find it funny when I take the time to see it as an answered prayer. But, even as I type, my ego Lucy With The Football is writing a script to use to get a certain person told.

I read a recent George Will column (which is surprising enough) but that I agree he nailed it is almost scary to me. Nonetheless, he wrote that Americans are addicted to indignation, and I identified from my toenails up. I regret that I identify, but there it is.

The sliver of gold is that addiction, if done right, will lead us to crash-and-burn...hopeless despair, i.e., powerless. From that necessary end, God's will is born, and we begin to trust God, to clean house, to  help others.

We are brought down...to the grace of love and laughter.

Thank you.

BEWARE "THE HUMAN CONDITION" BEING A CYA

[The following is from a partial post of mine from September ? 2012...it hits home for me today.] 

Lately I'm hearing a lot of "that's the human condition." About almost every unexamined stumbling block in one's daily life, in fact. 

I have come to believe that the human condition is such that we need to live by a higher standard than we’d naturally choose...else "the human condition" becomes just another excuse, cop-out, CYA for doing what we want to do because we want to do it. 

As for me, I've got too many human conditions as it is...and none of them have ever given me long-term peace of mind. 

 I'm going to continue thinking, "Bless him/her/them, change me." Then try acting like I mean it.

Thank you.

STICK FIGURES, PRIMARY COLORS AND LOVE

Trust the instinct to the end, though you can render no reason. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I am captivated by the material mind v. higher consciousness, and today the following bloomed full-flower:

In re WWII, USA v. Japan...USA attacked at Pearl Harbor by Japan, fought Japan, et al., and won. There...an example of resisting evil and winning...the material world, or reasoning mind consciousness, the apparent winner at the time. 

Here follows my own risky facts:  Thus USA's attachment to fighting to win was confirmed...albeit "winning" has not been overly apparent for us since then. As in, today we are in a fight with hometown terrorism which is thriving amongst us. Again, reasoning mind consciousness is coming the winning loser. 

Japan lost, surrendered, gave up utterly and completely, and is now a leader in the economic field and seems comfortable in its spiritual being. 

Surrender to win...surrender the either/or reasoning mind to ascend deeper to higher consciousness. There be the Grandma Moses School of Higher Thought at which I am a full-time scholar. Stick figures and primary colors and go beyond reason to love.

Thank you.

Probably a necessary P.S.: Without my even being aware of it, this is probably me continuing to work through my intense anger at Japan for its sneak attack on Pearl Harbor, December 7, 1941. Aside, there my favorite uncle was stationed and served in the Army. 

CLOSE ENOUGH...MY SPIRITUAL DIRECTIVE

To have but one goal, still more spiritual growth, is a life lesson in itself. Paring down my many goals, I discover most to be merely wants. I realize again, as I wrote long ago, There is no ego gold in spiritual growth. Like charity, spiritual growth is its own reward.

I'm thinking that spiritual growth cannot be an achievable intellectual goal...we can want it, seek it, of course...but we grow spiritually whether we want to or not. We can make a decision to seek still more spiritual growth...then read, study, practice living Goldsmith's words, Rohr's ideas, Easwaran's directions, but until we realize our own...until from within we know, and we know we know...we're just a walking around library for another's spiritual history lessons.

We must needs make it our own...oh wait. No. We must needs be made Its own. Transformed, in a word. That cannot be done by our efforts, want as we will. 

I am still wanting to know, to feel, to experience, to fully realize the love of God within me. 

I accept that I am in the pipeline. I am being processed. In the crucible. I take comfort knowing that, but transformed? Not yet. I may have many more lifetimes to live before I realize I have ever been Its own...which is what transformed means to me. Today, knowing I am being led in the right direction is close enough to perfect for me.

Close enough is my spiritual directive...it stops the ego-gold perfect in its ego-dung tracks. 

Thank you.

WE GO TO GOD FOR GOD...AND THAT IS ALL

My yesterday's blinding flash of the obvious, it is not what happened to us as children but how, even then, we chose to respond, expanded itself this morning.

I have forgotten how long ago that "everything happens by invitation only" occurred to me...at least forty, maybe forty-five, years ago. I have had that truth proved to me many times for which I am grateful, and I have learned the lessons. (Forgotten, too, but the lessons keep coming back if we keep moving in the right direction. There be the well-hidden gift of humility.)  

It was my BFO of yesterday when I was shaken by my realization that I experienced anew the difference between knowing from my eyebrows up and realizing from my Soul. 

We can know but until we realize, our knowing is pretty much talk, quoting a lot, reading more...and that is as it needs be. That's our tottering steps forward, looking to participate in the process.

When we realize, the hot air of talk is quieted, and our actions flow the proof. I can believe that, but my Now participation in the process will prove it. Another hard lesson a-borning: It is only when we realize, fully realize, that our Now sets the course.

If experience holds (and why wouldn't it?), I expect that my participation in the process originally will feel like "uh-oh, I've screwed up again." A hundred times out of a hundred that's how God's giftees have worked in my life...seldom have I overcome an egoic idea, wish or want-to, and promptly felt right good about it. They've come wrapped in rues, regrets and remorses, and there's the proof of purchase: An Oh-No! to us is a Yes! to God. According to me.

We must go beyond reason to love.

Thank you.

I WILL BE RELEASED

Blinding flash of the obvious: It is not what happened to me as a child or who did it... it is how I chose, even then, to respond.

With that BFO, I realize the cause and the result of all my perceived trials, tribulations and travails have that, my original responding choice, as their birthing place. It has thought my thoughts, sang my song, cried my tears since. 

Ah, and this, too, is God's giftee. 

This, too, can...must...be carried with me on my return journey. With every Step along my journey, I drop a tear, free a tish, let a teeny bit go, consciously or unconsciously. It is all of God.

I pray thank you...grace carries the heavy...I will be released.

Thank you.

GOD IS NOT A LONER

Agree with your adversary quickly. -- from The Sermon on the Mount

It is clear that we will never agree one hundred percent with everybody...not so clear is that we must come to agreement right Now with whomever we are disagreeing with. 

We have learned that silence is not agreement, and we must beware of the dual tendency to either shut up or speak out. Of shutting up, we  have experienced silence as a judgment which hurts and/or angers as much as speaking out. The better way is to learn to make listening noises as we withdraw from verbal battles...which is to say, remove our focus from the negative, refocus on a positive. 

With listening noises, the tone of our voice matters...there is a world of difference between a heavy "Huh!" and a light "Humm." Neither enunciates  a word, both convey a world of meaning, but only the latter offers the intention to come to agreement.

The hard lesson a-learning: When we humbly ask God to remove our defects of character, our work begins. As Fr Richard Rohr wrote in today's "Daily Meditation," We must participate in the process! 

That's how still  more spiritual growth takes root, sprouts and grows us...by our participation in God's  process. God is not a loner.

Thank you.

THE FOUNDATION FOR A LIFE WELL LIVED

To me, the two most important words for spiritual growth are trust God. To trust God without fail is all but humanly impossible...we cannot realistically expect to ever achieve it, but to aim there is to get out of self.

Unsurprisingly, the test for trusting God generally comes in the shape of a dollar sign. For the sake of simple goodness, trust God as we may, the reasoning mind is unlikely to accept the need to give up or to not get financial gain no matter the amount of dollars involved. 

Our better self may easily want to...actually will...give up, donate, contribute for the good of another when we believe we have more than enough to give. However, when we're feeling a tish pinched, whether we are or not, few if any dimes or dollars pass from our hands for the benefit of another. 

In general, this thinking applies to all of us...Pope, piper and just plain folk...justified by "that's just commonsense." Instinct argues "to give up what little I have for the benefit of another may leave me in need."

It is that reasoning that sells the Sermon short. Because there's little, if anything, in the Sermon that can be justified by commonsense. Basically, the Sermon does not make a lick of sense to the reasoning mind. Check it out: Resist not evil? If anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also? If anyone would sue you and take your coat, let him have your cloak as well? (Matthew 5:38)

We must trust that? That is what we're throwing in with? On trust?

There is the root of our woes...we stay stuck in the reasoning mind while studying how to have the mind of the Buddha, the mind that was in Christ Jesus. Many of us pray the prayer of Saint Francis daily but actually do what we're praying for? Hardly.

Nobody I know, least of all me, is or is likely to become a saint. But to aspire to their ways...to want to be more caring for another's welfare than I am for my own because I trust God has my back...I believe is God's will for us.

The secret, and that which we tend to forget, is that we do not do anything all on our own. All our seeking still more spiritual growth is about seeking...we achieve some, show forth a little and be as happy as the moment calls for. There. That's the foundation for a life well lived. According to me.

Thank you.

THE SLIVER OF GOLD, GOD

Fear. One of the smartest...or most useful...remarks I hold dear is FDR's "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." 

Since fear lives within us, as does patience but that's another post, our smart way-to-go when we feel fear arising is to immediately turn our thoughts to our inner cleanup crew, God. We pray thank you and do something about something...something else about something else, to get specific about it.

We know that to fight fear is to lose...even when we win, we lose. Fear, being at home wherever it chooses, may appear to lose, but it will re-gird and come back strong as ever. We resist not...i.e., we let it. 

We let it by seeking the good in the fear appearing...the sliver of gold hidden there.  

To focus on finding the sliver of gold, that elusive infinitesimal sliver of good, is to take our focus off that oncoming mental monster, fear. Unfocused-on fear is gratitude aborning.  

Hold the gold, hold God's hand. Proof: There is nothing to fear but fear itself.

Thank you.

TRUE HAPPINESS...RETIRING, WITH FRIENDS

True happiness is of a retired nature, and an enemy to pomp and noise; it arises in the first place, from the enjoyment of one's self, and, in the next, from the friendship and conversation of a few select companions.  -- Joseph Addison, 18th century English essayist

I came across the Addison quote and felt an immediate connection...kinda like a one-sentence autobiography. Then I had to Google Joseph Addison. 

I am reminded of my promise to me early in the pandemic, to "keep my eyes on the prize," i.e., find the sliver of gold in this sucker. Honestly, to focus on finding the good in a not-good situation...this time  the pandemic...is a peacemaker. It calms my panic-prone self at any rate. 

I suspect that was the origins of my sense of connection, but when I read true happiness...arises in the first place from enjoyment of one's self, that sealed the deal. I have found a deeper contentment with my own company purely from the pandemic's forced confinement. 

However, that same forced confinement is becoming its own enemy...I am so over me. Which proves the truth of true happiness also arising from the friendship and conversation of a few select companions. Note, please, of a few select companions. That's the key for me. 

Whoa. Well, there it is. The reason why smart people keep their innermost self in wraps. The way feelings sound when described aloud and  the way feelings make themselves known inside us are as different as self-determined and God-given. 

It is a quirky fact that the human-condition difference between those who need the friendship and conversation of a few select friends versus those who need the friendship and conversation of several to many friends forms the root of too many judgments...each group judging the other adversely.

Being able to accept which need best fits us personally is the core, the very source, of true happiness: Enjoyment of one's self. The rest...friendship and conversation with a select few or with innumerable others...is the footloose and fun part for all.

Thank you.

THE ATTACK MIND PEACED

You have heard that it was said, 'An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth,' But I say to you, Do not resist one who is evil. -- Matthew 5:38

In my morning study of the Sermon, specifically the first sentence of Matthew 5:38, "You have heard that it was said, 'An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth,'" I realized that I have never given the eye/tooth phrase sufficient (if any) attention. But that is where my reasoning mind (also psychological teaching) lives. As in, we must take our own part, stand up for ourself, speak up, etc.

Understanding, I see the glue that has kept me mentally attached to my attack mind even when my actions are obeying the second sentence (and my favorite), Do not resist.... 

I suspect and hope that this may be the permission I have needed to loose my attack mind and let it go. I've prayed for release, but never realized my egoic law has been "respond in kind" even though, from my eyebrows up, I have known better.

I have pondered, written about, prayed my thank you for my attack mind...for to get shed of it. It has been a conundrum how, without thought, my physical actions toward incoming ugly have become fairly nonresistant...then, at some point later when I'm alone, my thoughts go on the attack. With outgoing uglier. Snarkier, meaner. Toward that ugly one. Playing to an imaginary audience. Cheering me on.

It doesn't take Jung to explain, and I ain't Jung but I ain't stupid...ego unleashed makes an end-run around God whenever it gets the chance...whenever I give it the chance, putting the fine point of truth on it.

But wait! That's not news...that is what we learn with still more spiritual growth every day...that's why we meditate daily. My almost daily prayer that my attack mind be tamed, transformed, transmuted...killed!...made my attack mind my God at that moment. My focus was on a negative...resistance, rather than on a positive...love.

There it is...further proof that already all my problems have been solved! All the while I sought release from my attack mind, my attack mind had been rested in God. Ah, or never existed? But I'm not there yet.

All I need do is welcome the cause of my attack mind for it got here by ego to begin with. Gertrude slams me, I'm cheated on and laughed at into the bargain...mentally hug 'em and kiss 'em and let 'em go. There. That's the attack mind used as the vessel to carry ego's ashes out and away on words of praise.

He goes before us to make the crooked places straight. -- Isaiah 45:2 

Thank you.

TRUST, AN INNER KNOWING

Paradox alert! Our ego thrives on blame and shame...it thrives through our never-ending seeking to be absolved of all blame and shame. 

It is a rude but wonderful awakening when we realize our error...we get a flicker that blame and shame are God's glory aborning.

That same flicker brings awareness that blame and shame, our ego's warts, are of no personal use whatsoever. They are purchased by ego and paid for by chagrin...ah, but transformed by the awareness of our Soul. 

Our transformation comes when our thinking, centered on the unjustified and unfair cause of our pain, is lifted deeper...to a place of the Unknown, i.e., trust. Trust that this, too, is of God...that God's hand is in this, the very cause of our pain, and in it for our benefit. 

We welcome it with our thank you...before we even know why.

Trust in God does not come after the miracle. Trust comes before our eyes can see, before our ears can hear, before our want can get its pants on. 

When the house is on fire, the river is overflowing, our bank account is underfunded...trust that God's hand is in this. Find it, love, laugh and hang In.

In essence, and according to me, that is the sum and substance of a spiritually based life...trusting God's hand is it it for our benefit.

Thank you.