Wednesday, June 3, 2020

TO GET LOVE, WE MUST GIVE LOVE

What had I learned about love? One of the central things was that the experience of being understood by another was of primary importance. Somewhere deep within was a 'place' beyond all faults and virtues that had to be confirmed before I could run the risk of opening my life up to another. To find ultimate security in an ultimate vulnerability, this is to be loved.--Rev. Howard Thurman (Fr Richard Rohr's "Daily Meditation," June 3, 2020)

Some forty years ago, a friend of mine and I, in a conversation waaay over our heads, decided to study love. This has come to be one of the most prolific "studies" I have undertaken in my life. (One of the only "studies" to be real upfront about it.) 

Among many other things, my friend wanted to find what love personally meant to him and if there are different levels of love. I wanted to learn not only what it means  to me personally, but how it comes, why it goes...if it goes or just transmutes.

One of the ideas we came to agree on is that one cannot get unconditional love, one can only give unconditional love...that was a biggie about which we came to agree when we caught the similarity in the analogy that one cannot get a hug, one can only give a hug.

I don't doubt that our study...in truth our ongoing conversation...is the basis for my today's acceptance that we go to God for God and that is all. I remember the blinding flash of the obvious when I saw "that is all" as just that: God is All. There is nowhere else our spiritual search can lead us...nothing else we need go for. 

To me, the last line of Rev. Thurman's quote, To find ultimate security in an ultimate vulnerability, this is to be loved, says it all. I wish my friend were still physically here with me...we would both be shouting, "Can I get an Amen?!"

Thank you.

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