The gift of giving over, giving up, giving in is impossible to us if we're accepting it with the idea that we will just keep our mouth shut, agree when we know we're right, smile when we our very heart is hurting...smile mutely when our thoughts are screaming in resistance.
That's a fairly "normal" mental response. It's hard enough to come to want still more spiritual growth but once we do, we want to be willing to go to any lengths for it...and that kind of giving is for sure a great length. So that's what we try to do...and find we can't...then we try harder...and fail...harder still...nada. We remind our self of the definition of insanity and change our tactics. And fail...etc., etc., etc.
It should come as no great surprise when we recall that was our first response on coming into contact with the Sermon. Trying to get our head to agree to our face getting slapped and smiling, all the while calling it God's will, defies common sense. But doesn't most spiritual growth defy common sense? Whaat?
It is that stonewall we must splatter against that releases the grace of God within us...that's also known as crash-and-burn. You'd think we'd get a clue from either or both descriptions..."splatter," "crash-and-burn," duh. Neither leaves room to believe that on our unaided will alone we are going to be capable of doing anything, giving or withholding. We are finished. Our race is run. Our story is told. Our ego is deflated. For the moment.
Ah, there it is. That's the sliver of gold that God rides in on, and we give over, give up, give in.
Another hard lesson a-learning is that this is the right way, but it is not a one and done proposition. It takes as long as it takes for us to realize the peace we receive from that giving process. The ego is deflated just until it gets its breath, and it's ready to roll again. That's where the spiritual instruction that we must try with a will or fall by the wayside comes to our aid, and we realize that we would rather have God's will done in our life than our will done in our life.
Our wants have been transmuted...not lifted out of us, just transmuted. When next the opportunity arises to turn the other cheek or to agree with our adversary quickly, we get to love it and laugh. For sure, the old ego, Lucy-with-the-football, will be ready to fight only not fast enough anymore.
Just another miracle in God's world.
Thank you.
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