Blinding flash of the obvious: The harder the hit the truer my God.
I asked for this "hit." My voiced wish for myself, for the first time out loud, was in conversation with Gertrude. That is my proof positive that God's hand is in it and in it for me and for Gertrude.
Thank you that this has hit me hard, hit my reasoning mind hard, for it is opening me to the fact of Jesus's journey toward his destiny...answering not a word in self defense (which was my specific voiced desire that started this contretemps).
I am just beginning to understand (without a doubt only from my eyebrows up) that the prize really is crucifixion. Crucifixion within and without...within, of self (ego-deflation in depth), and without, of persona (in the desire to save face).
My gratitude rests in the fact that I know to let it be unto realization from my toenails up...however long it takes and however many windmills I meet.
Thank you. Amen.
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