I had an experience recently that was flat-out ugly and utterly unexpected. An acquaintance let loose an uncontrolled and personal stream of vitriol...I was not physically harmed, but the viciousness was right off-putting to put it delicately.
It looked and felt like an oncoming...runaway...train, and it was clear that I could not derail this. I had but one thought, "God, this one's on you." Then I made listening noises and silently repeated my "thank you." I felt no fear, and I knew it was neither necessary nor desirable to defend myself for nothing being said wore any of my truth.
When I got home, I promptly did what I do...I searched and found the gold in the situation. First, I did shoot a prayer for the speaker's well-being, then I just let my mind flow free. I realized the gift was in the Now. God had stayed me in the divinity of Now. I'm convinced there is no other way I would or could have responded as I did...with a "God bless," as I walked away with no ego-victory need to respond in kind.
I do believe that being focused on God Now, elicits our unthinking response...our un-thought-out spiritual response. More importantly, reliance on our unaided will alone cannot stay our focus on God Now; we must surrender our will.
It is in surrender that the love of God flows out and heals...and "I don't know" is surrender.
Thank you.
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