That question presented itself to me this morning, and my answer is I do not know but that is precisely what I live for.
My spiritual journey began with that desire: To mirror Divine Being itself. And this is one of those "it goes without saying" but I'm guessing it'd best be said...I had no idea, I'm talking zilch, zip, zero, nada, that that was what my desire was all about at the beginning of my spiritual journey.
To mirror Divine Being itself according to my own understanding of Divine Being itself...ah, there it is. There is my honest desire in its entirety. And that qualifier had to come from a blinding flash of the obvious many years into my journey. That's when I learned that I was trying to out Jesus Jesus, put Mother Mary to shame, show the Buddha How It Is Done.
And, get this, it was years before I recognized my ego Lucy as the originator of my pitifully pompous desire. Which means, of course, that I spent a lot of time beating the bejazus out of myself. Nothing I did or could do was "good enough." How could it be?
Today, "according to my own understanding of Divine Being itself," is what allows me to accept my warts, my missteps, my uh-ohs for just what they are...God's personal gifts to me.
I've learned not to regret a misstep for regrets are nothing but resistance to what is. It is that resistance that blocks our gift. Resistance totally enmeshes us in the regret...in effect, we're trying to make what happened unhappen. And that's it...that's how my eyes were opened. Since I could not imagine Jesus, Mary, the Buddha, et al., having rues, regrets or remorses, there I was...trying to mirror my image of divinity by never, never, never erring.
That is how I came to know that God has my back...my eyes were opened. I kept doing that...err, regret, mental flagellation...I can almost feel myself now whirling down that eddy of self-hate...because I could not, all on my own, turn me around. Knowing that, I sought God daily...same time every morning.
Making our self available to God daily for whatever God's gift is at that moment is the most important thing we can do for our spiritual growth. According to me. When we do that, make our self available, he can and will walk us out into the sunlight...feeling happy, joyous and free.
Thank you.
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