To be free...to be free of me...that is the only object we each must be free of...that which is known by each of us as...me.
Free of me means being free of my thoughts about me...those less-than/better-than thoughts about me.
Less-than thoughts just beat us up, usually in the dead of the night, usually about deeds done, words spoken, sometimes years ago, sometimes yesterday, but done. Over. Can't take back. And surrender is not an acceptable option...we haven't beat our self up enough yet.
Better-than thoughts are our hurt and/or angry thoughts resisting the you-done-me-wrong words or actions of an intimate. Those that pierce our heart...we should know when we land on that phrase alone that we are in victim territory...but it hurts too good to stop.
The seldom looked-at fact is, when we get into that compulsive mental rehashing of our hurt, we are invariably reacting in kind. We become that which we decry. It is cosmic, but it is true. That is because there is no God there, there is only me...me with my favorite pet, Ego. Ego, who only knows and constantly says, "Somebody [else] has got to pay."
We very well know the answer to our persistent thoughts...less/better, makes no never mind, they are resistant and, therefore, compulsive. The question we must needs answer is: If all of that is true (that being what we're compulsing over) what is wrong with me that I cannot...no, will not...accept it?
Again we come to that mental fork in the road...continue thinking on this? Or pray our thank you prayer?
Then, no matter our choice, hum "Amazing Grace."
Thank you.
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