FEAR IN THE FORM OF ANGER

The spiritual way of life is a reversal of the human way of life. -- Joel Goldsmith, "The Heart of Mysticism" at p. 836.

The spiritual way of life is all about giving, the human way of life is all about getting. We experience this in particular when we win...when we get over on another, no matter the size or significance of the victory, we rejoice. We got...s/he gave (in). That's ego victory...spiritually, our road just got a tish steeper. I wonder, is there such a thing as spiritual victory or is that an oxymoron?

For sure ego victory is my real sinkhole today. I have "won" over Kermit, and I am having the devil's own time not lording it over old Kermit. I fantasize letting him know that I was well aware each and every time he slighted me. All those times that I gave thanks to God for keeping my mouth shut, that I gave myself spiritual points for not responding in kind, for agreeing with my adversary quickly...all those times I was earning my wings...I am eager now to pitch just so I can let Kermit know he did not get over on me...that I, indeed, have gotten over on him and spiritually too by God (so to speak).

Here's what I can project, and this from my own life experiences: In my ego's urge to teach him a lesson, I withhold, being just a tish cooler, less available. Interestingly, when I was being slighted and snubbed, I was using spiritual principles in order to not respond in kind...being agreeable in a word. Now that I've won, my ego wants to make him pay...to be disagreeable in a word.

If I continue on that road, withholding love, fear (in the form of anger) will take charge of Kermit because withholding love seeds fear in the other. That fear will redound to me...and the same old same old will spring forth, looking new. All in the course of an ego victory.

My ego is my Satan...get thee behind me ego. Now all I need do is loose it and let it go...and that'll happen only with the grace of God. 

Thank you.