SEEK LESS...ON THIS NOTHING WE NOW LIVE, II

The following quote of Joel Goldsmith is a reprint of my post of December 31, 2022. It fills my heart yet again. 

You have come to that point in consciousness where you are seeking for what the world calls the intangible. When you came to a spiritual teaching, you knew in advance, or soon learned, that you were going to obtain nothing in the external realm. What you were seeking was the Invisible, that which cannot be seen, heard, or known. And yet you were seeking to be able to see, hear, and know just that. Through that seeking, you are coming to know that which is unknowable, see that which is invisible, hear that which is inaudible. And on this Nothing you now live. -- Joel Goldsmith, "Leave Your Nets"

We go to God for God...and that is All.

Thank you.

GOD IS IN OUR MISTAKES...SEEK INSIDE

Everything is profane if you live on the surface of it, and everything is sacred if you go into the depths of it—even your sin. To go inside your own mistakenness is to find God. To stay on the surface of very good things, like Bible, sacrament, priesthood, or church, is to often do very unkind and evil things, while calling them good. -- Fr Richard Rohr, Daily Meditation, May 26, 2013

Well now...there is the eye-opener, the answer to my morning's blinding flash that I am currying favor...gushing flowery words, giving $$$ tips, giving over to the other rather than to God. That is staying on the surface looking to get my wants met.

I need to surrender my surface self...hug it and kiss it and let it go. Accept my standard, long ago gifted me: Spiritual principles will solve all my problems.

 

As, if and when I keep my mind open for the Word from the Father within, It comes to me from Me in the moment. 

Plan not, worrit not, follow the Father within.

Thank you.

THE NEW COLOSSUS GONE BEGGING

 "The New Colossus" by Emma Lazarus

Give me your tired, your poor,

Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,

The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.

Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed, to me:

I lift my lamp beside the golden door.

We come again to our need to recall the promise of America to the "wretched refuse" of other teeming shores. 

Again, and yet again, we trample that promise without so much as a backward glance as we roll on...and who cares if we're going in the right direction? We're strutting our stuff, showing 'em how it's done...and who cares if we do not have a clue our own self? Throw another log on the fire.

I miss Kate Smith singing "God Bless America," and America standing with its hand over its heart and tears of gratitude in its eyes.

Father forgive us for we know not what we do.

Thank you.

THE GIFT OF UNEXPECTED HUMILITY...UH-OH

Choctaw elder and retired Episcopal bishop Steven Charleston writes: We are all prophets. We are not divine messengers. We do not speak for God. We are not miracle workers or moral judges. Instead, we are … human beings living in extraordinary times. We are what the Hopi are: communities seeking a spiritual purpose to their lives. -- Fr Richard's Daily Meditation, December 28, 2023

I keep returning to prophet, as in, what does that mean? Who is a prophet? How can one tell a prophet from a spiritually inclined talker? Or a plain old blowhard?

Before reading Fr Richard this morning, I jotted down some thoughts: Prophets come in all sizes and kinds...the one whose voice a certain few hear or maybe the one least likely who has the most need to hear the Word. 

No wonder I felt gobsmacked when I read Charleston's words: We are all prophets. 

Being so stuck that one does not know if she qualifies as a prophet or a blowhard is a tish humbling...only a tish because, face it, that is funny. 

I particularly relate to the Hopi...seeking a spiritual purpose to my life. Recently, I discovered the meaning of spiritual to me...i.e., to have a sense of peace and purpose for the benefit of others. Later I included myself in the benefit part.

To me today, spiritual means to have a sense of peace and purpose for the benefit of myself and others. 

I long ago realized when I'm thinking, doing, feeling for others while ignoring my own self, my ego has a hold on me. I've driven myself into a ditch in the name of others more times than I choose to dwell on...rarely helped them but got me a boatload of humility whether I wanted it or not. 

Hmmm...a boatload of humility can never do a harm. I'd best pray thank you, love and laugh before I take myself too seriously...or am I too late? 

Thank you. 

LOOK AND LISTEN...LOVE AND LAUGH

He is telling his followers, 'You’re going to be persecuted the way the prophets were before you.'  -- Brian McLaren in Fr Richard's Daily Meditation, December 27, 2023

I must admit upfront that the word "prophet" causes me pause...it brings images of street corner fanatics and religious zealots, some of whom have been fairly close relatives of mine. So, off-putting to me but true, McLaren's description of the prophet fits my identity of myself:

The prophet is somebody who goes deep into themselves to hear the message that’s being birthed in the midst of their pain and their burdens and their frustrations and their sufferings and their questions and their perplexity and their disillusionments. In the foment and ferment of that inner journey, something begins to emerge, and they bring it out and they say, 'I can’t just say these words. I have to demonstrate them. I’ve got to find two or three other people who see what I see so that we can do something about it.'

I was hooked at the sentence, 'I can’t just say these words. I have to demonstrate them.' 

I realized with my first blinding flash of the obvious that I had to make it mine. My personal admonition with each new BFO has been, I must prove this...I can't share it until I have made it mine.  

It seemed that each BFO, each little understanding, why "little" is the necessary descriptive for me had become one. I recalled the snubs and snarks I have received for just being me...I feel the overwhelming love and acceptance I receive for just being me. I knew wonder and joy intertwined with trepidation and doubts. 

I must consider if this insight coming at the end of the year...coming at the beginning of a new year...is God's reality for me or my wannabe fantasy?

This I know from my own experience: God's reality for me is a wannabe fantasy until I quit talking it and start walking it. I will be cleared for landing in my head after I've landed...loving and laughing at my wannabe fantasy or basking in the inexplicable glory of God's love. 

More will be revealed.  Look and listen...love and laugh. 

Thank you.

WITH THE ASSURANCE OF NONE BUT GOD

Mary and Joseph walked in courage and absolute faith that their experience was true, with no one except God to reassure them they were right. -- Fr Richard's Daily Meditation, December 25, 2023

Regarding my piercingly painful shoulder, amid the prayers I was shooting to God, I had a blinding flash of the obvious...namely, I am my healer. 

I understood that all my prayers had been aimed out there, none within. I recalled how often I have said, written, thought, The Father lives within.  

This is the time, the time of unknowing, that "courage and absolute faith" are called up...and way too often jettisoned for something that makes sense to the reasoning mind...where I find myself sliding in and out this morning. 

With no treatment at all, except thank you, my shoulder is way better...hardly hurts, except slightly on occasion. That causes me pause...that which feels off may not be my shoulder, it may be consciousness-raising. Is that me just putting on airs? Or is my consciousness being raised? 

I take heart from both the words and the timing of Fr Richard's article yesterday about Mary and Joseph's journey which may just be the painful way to higher consciousness: 

Kingdom of God people...break through the small kingdoms of this world to an alternative and much larger world, God’s full creation....[Mary] had to let God lead her outside of her box of expectations, her comfort zone...They both had to rely on their angels!....Mary and Joseph walked in courage and absolute faith that their experience was true, with no one except God to reassure them they were right. -- Ibid.

Ah, with no one except God to reassure them they were right. According to me, passing the test of those words is true belief. 

Thank you.

ON FINDING OUR CORE...AND LOVING IT, II

[The following is a reprint of my post of  December 29, 2021.]

The following, by Joan Didion, is from her essay, On Keeping a Notebook, at p 126. This, more than anything I've ever read or heard, describes me and my being in my world as I live it:

....I tell what some would call lies. 'That's simply not true,' the members of my family frequently tell me when they come up against my memory of a shared event. 'The party was not for you, the spider was not a black widow, it wasn't that way at all.' Very likely they are right, for not only have I always had trouble distinguishing between what happened and what merely might have happened, but I remain unconvinced that the distinction, for my purposes, matters. The cracked crab that I recall having for lunch the day my father came home from Detroit in 1945 must certainly be embroidery, worked into the day's pattern to lend verisimilitude; I was ten years old and would not now remember the cracked crab. The day's events did not turn on cracked crab. And yet it is precisely that fictitious crab that makes me see the afternoon all over again, a home movie run all too often, the father bearing gifts, the child weeping, an exercise in family love and guilt. Or that is what it was to me. Similarly, perhaps it never did snow that August in Vermont; perhaps there never were flurries in the night wind, and maybe no one else felt the ground hardening and summer already dead even as we pretended to bask in it, but that was how it felt to me, and it might as well have snowed, could have snowed, did snow.

"I tell what some would call lies," Didion wrote. "How it felt to me: that is getting closer to the truth...."

As I read that, from my toenails up, I felt accepted, partnered...twinned, dimdammit! And I heard my innards laughing for I could freely admit that is me...I tell how it looked, felt, was...looks, feels, is...to me.

And here's the nut as Didion wrote it: "I always had trouble distinguishing between what happened and what merely might have happened, but I remain unconvinced that the distinction, for my purposes, matters." [My emphasis added.]

It seems likely...to me at any rate...that it is our way of communicating that won Didion Pulitzers and has won me friends, each of them my Pulitzer and the pearl beyond price.

Finding our freedom within through the freedom of a like Soul proves true self-acceptance is the acceptance of Self.

Thank you.

INTENSE PHYSICAL PAIN...WITH FAITH INTACT

My today's dilemma: An excruciatingly painful shoulder...is my aching shoulder a torn rotator cuff or deeper initiation? If initiation, I accept that doesn't mean it is not a torn rotator cuff, so no surgery. It may be a way to my deeper understanding of life...i.e,. getting through surgery and physical therapy with my faith intact...in fact, deepened. 

Thy will, Thy way. Let me be the cause of no self-determined hurt, harm, pain...mental or physical. Lord, hear my prayer...thank you.

Interestingly, this comes on the eve of the holiest day of my experience. I know naught, but I suspect the virgin birth of Mary did not make her birthing pain any less intense. I wonder if her state of consciousness...birthing the Son of God...transmuted the pain? Or does the pain fall under what Fr Richard describes as necessary suffering? 

Today is Sunday, Christmas Eve, so no doctors, acupuncturists, or healers are available. Why, I wonder, did this shoulder problem come to me now? Yesterday there was no pain, yet as I went to bed last night, it came out of nowhere...I ached in the night and awoke this morning feeling serious pain.

Thank you for opening my hidden Self to whatever is mine to experience. Amen.

Thank you.

A CHANGE OF CONSCIOUSNESS...PEACED

As the thought crossed my mind recently that a natural part of aging is forgetfulness, a blinding flash of the obvious followed: Dementia may be just a change of consciousness. 

I welcomed that thought and turned from my reasoning mind to let it perc. Slowly, it has come to me that when we depend on Big Pharma and the medical profession, our consciousness is lowered, and fear blocks our Father within. When we depend on the Father, growth in consciousness and love blocks fear, and we are peaced.

I have become leery of the overwhelmingly many things that today's world credits to dementia. In the early '80s there was a run on cancer being the go-to fear...and, like dementia, cancer is fearsome. But one day I was talking with a friend about our shampoos...I named mine, and she, aghast, said, "That causes cancer...I read it in blahblahblah." That's precisely when I quit taking notice of what all was said to be causing cancer. 

I see that in dementia today. It seems there is always a product being sold that gives relief...doesn't cure, just gives relief. Meditation frees us of our fear that blocks relief.

Relying on the Father within, we live assured that whatever...dementia included...comes to us, the Father is with us. He doesn't cure, he doesn't bankroll, he doesn't deliver love with a wedding cake...he gives us peace, or growth in consciousness and love in the midst of pain, lack and scorn.

We can live with that...peaced.

Thank you. 

JOSEPH WITH WALKING-AROUND FAITH

I awoke this morning to this blinding flash of the obvious: I am a follower, not a leader. I seek not to know higher truth so that I can lead others for or to the Lord...that is not my way. Mine is the way of Joseph, the last named, the cleanup crew, the holder of the Cup...that is mine...thank you.

I often admit I know little and less than that about the Bible....Holy Writ as written is way over my head, and I let it be. I studied the main stories in catechetical class...and long ago made the truths I learned then my own. So, here's my take on the Christmas story:

Of the three, Jesus, Mary and Joseph, I have long held that Joseph had the purest practical faith. Jesus, of course, being Top Dog, Mary being above human touch, Joseph gets to walk it...he gets the fiancé who, I'm guessing, never let him so much as kiss her, who comes to him and tells him she is pregnant...and by The Lord...and he believes her. 

He lives his belief by becoming her on-earth caretaker...her husband, in a word. Since we're going by my take, that has got to be faith, trust and love, pure and shining.

That is what makes my morning BFO so comforting...mine is the way of Joseph, the walker of the Word not just the talker. We walk behind to aid the halt, the lame, the elderly...our own self, getting by giving help to others when needed.

Every master's lesson, every parable or spiritual riddle, every confounding question is intended to bring up the limitations of our own wisdom, our own power, our own tiny self. -- Fr Richard's Daily Meditation, May 24, 2016

Thank you.

GOD DOES THE HEAVY LIFTING...TRUST

Our supreme purpose in life is not to make a fortune, nor to pursue pleasure, nor to write our name on history, but to discover this spark of the divine that is in our hearts. —Eknath Easwaran

Ah, to discover this spark of the divine that is in our hearts...indeed, that has been my goal in life for as long as I consciously knew I had a goal in life. 

As Franciscan sister Ilia Delio has written: The journey inward requires surrender to this mystery in our lives, and this means letting go of our 'control buttons.' ..... it means being willing to surrender all that we have for all that we can become in God’s love; and finally, it means to let God’s love heal us of the opposing tensions within us.

The major discovery upon reading that and many other like words is agreeing with them is as far as that gets us...agreement. It is going beyond that agreement that finally leads us to surrender...to surrender our own idea of right and wrong. Whether we know it or not, to surrender is to do it right...give up all hope, flounder, fail...lose, in a word. That is how the seed, planted in our consciousness, takes root.

Spiritual growth kicks in when we stop talking those words and start doing them...taking our wobbly first steps, falling backward, asking for help, falling forward, asking...listening...changing.   

We finally accept that God's ways are not our ways...that our ways must change. Changing our mind is all that is needed, yet our resistance to that takes...well, nonresistance. Surrender, again. 

It is only in looking back that we can see all that flailing we did while trying to keep from losing was our path to winning...through God as he toted our sorry self home...to happy, joyous and free.

Trust...God is in surrender.

Thank you.

LEARNING TO TRUST WHAT IS...AND TO LOVE IT

The spiritual experience is about trusting that, when we stop holding ourselves, Inherent Goodness will still uphold us. Many of us call that God, but it isn’t necessary. It is the trusting that is important. -- Fr Richard Rohr, Daily Meditation, December 16, 2022

According to me, the way of the Lord is counterintuitive, as the way down always teaches us.

The consequences of the way down...which we try with a will to avoid, slide by, justify, deny...is our self-selected teacher. Face it, without the consequences, it is unlikely we would accept the necessity of giving over. 

We give over, give up, give in for some time before our eyes are lifted...before we trust that God's better way is not wimping out.

It is our choice of how we see our life...through our ego's eyes and whine or through God's eyes and shine. That choice is, per Fr Richard, the foundation of any true religious seeing...learning how to see and love what is.

Who- or whatever is the source of our resistance...our spouse, our friend or foe, our job...is to be met in its reality with thank you. There it is...the call for still more spiritual growth.

If we don’t know how to love what’s right in front of us, then we don’t know how to see what is. -- Fr Richard's Daily Meditation, October 29, 2023

Thank you.

OUR NEMESIS IS OUR ANGEL, II

[The following is a reprint of my post of  December 28, 2018]

The forever lesson to learn: To our reasoning mind, the one arousing our negative side is our nemesis...ah, but spiritually, that one is our angel.

There it is...the key to changing our mind. Then we must needs stay our focus on the power within which is ever on hand to further the opening, as needed.

This is an ongoing spiritual process...an opened mind releases the power for good within. Our detachment frees our thoughts from building self-determined results. That which we are resisting is freely transmuted in our mind...and we are graced with another angel in our midst.

Thank you.

TO SURRENDER IS TO WIN...TRUST THAT

There is no mention of any moral worthiness, achievement, or preparedness..., only humble trust and surrender....If we ourselves try to “manage” God or manufacture our own worthiness by any perfection or performance principle whatsoever, we will never [have a raised consciousness], but only more of ourselves. -- Fr Richard's Daily Meditation, December 18, 2023 (paraphrased)

That paragraph holds the secret to living a turned-over life...surrender, I lose, begets trust, we win. 

The basic need for those who seek still more spiritual growth is the gutbucket acceptance that God's will, God's way is our forever solution. That acceptance opens God's will, God's way as counterintuitive to our will and way, and the human condition no longer prevails. 

Surrender means we lose. We must lose, fail, let go of any perceived want masquerading as a need, no matter how good and true...even holy...we believe it to be. 

It is only by losing that we rise again, lifted by a Power greater than our self. It is in the process of being lifted up, the long and arduous process, that trust is born within us. Long and arduous becomes our pearl beyond price...not by self-will, but by God's grace.

That brings to mind the saying that the hardest thing life will ever ask of us is that we change our mind. We have learned that we cannot change our mind on a want-to...that, too, is God's to do.

So the difference between [material mind and spiritual mind] is the difference between striving for a self-determined objective and for the perfect objective which is of God. -- Anonymous (slightly reworked for clarity)

Thank you.

ASK NOT...TRUST

Blinding flash of the obvious: I'm not asking you, God, I am trusting you...thank you.

I think I just sent a true prayer...ask for nothing, trust. The Father knows our needs. 

Whatever comes to us appearing as unloved, debilitating illness, poverty, etc., we get to welcome in trust. To be feared for as long as it takes to kiss it on the lips and send it packing...in other words, to surrender in defeat, to rise again in acceptance. I feel fear, God is here.

The lifelong lesson learning is that it is the fear we send packing. We may be friendless, ill, flat broke, and most everyone has experienced those to some degree in our lives, if we've done it right, but the great and glorious news is God has our back. 

With God, we walk through this that is appearing...the same as we have walked through as much or more and came out the other side smiling. Without God, we'd still be beating our breasts and wailing.

Together we are the incarnate hands and feet and body of God. -- Fr Richard Rohr

Thank you.

THE 23RD PSALM: FEAR NOT, GOD IS HERE

It has long been my contention that God's word is counterintuitive to the reasoning mind. I have meditated on the 23rd Psalm for a long time. I was years into that practice before promises and parts of promises from that Psalm gave me the gift of realization...helped me understand the mirror image of God's Word. 

Here are some gifts:

1)  Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me... The promise is that we will walk through the feared valley, and the shadow of death is our myriad fears, i.e., fear of being left all alone, of never being loved, wanted, needed or appreciated, of dementia...all of our dreads that come alive at three o'clock in the morning. 

Our healer: Thank you...I fear not, God is here. 

2)  Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me...Thy rod and staff are our rues, regrets and remorses which we use to beat our self mercilessly. Those regrets have nowhere to go but to God where we find our comfort. 

Our healer: Thank you...I fear not, God is here. 

3)  Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies... Here's the most surprising gift...it is God who does the prep work: Thou preparest a table. The next gift is that mine enemies are not our enemy du jour, not Gertrude or Jim, not sister, or any person. No...mine enemies are our self-centered fears, fear of the future, regret over the past, etc.  God prepares the table, seats our enemies at the table, then walks us to the head of the table...where we realize with God, they are there for our benefit. We hug 'em and kiss 'em and let 'em go. This keeps us occupied for a lifetime when we're doing it right. 

Our healer: Thank you...I fear not, God is here. 

Do not doubt that more will be revealed for which we say, Welcome, thank you...I fear not, God is here.

Thank you.

MATTER AND SPIRIT HAVE EVER BEEN ONE

We have created an artificial divide or dualism between the spiritual and the so-called non-spiritual. This dualism is precisely what [has been revealed] as a lie....matter and spirit have never been separate....these two seemingly different worlds are—and always have been—one. -- My paraphrase from Fr Richard's Daily Meditation of January 13, 2017

When first I read that, in 2017, I was stunned...I even wrote that it turned my whole material mind vs. spiritual mind upside down. According to me then, they were two separate things, and life was about rising above the material to live in the spiritual. 

The date is of interest to me only because it is a lovely example of how long it takes, having realized something from our eyebrows up, to then move it to our as-we-breathe understanding. I eyebrows-up knew that to be true on reading it...my belief in my oft-referenced the Father and I are one no doubt had its basis in that.

I grinned at my knee-jerk reaction this morning...I felt like I'd never heard of that before. Yet, what a comfort...this is right at the proverbial seven years it takes for change to cement itself within. I have many examples of learning, believing, doing...then backsliding as if I'd never learned. I have made peace with that as my way of making a truth my own.

In general, coming to believe unto doing our new belief is not a one-shot deal...we read of the miracle happening but the one to whom it happened has already been declared a saint. Who's kidding whom? Sainthood is not our path to walk...in this world at any rate. 

But here's my today's proof...it has been growing within me, settling in, making itself at home. Now, seven years later, I see me living the fact comfortably the majority of the time...progress, not perfection, being our road to love and laughter.

Thank you.

KEEP IT SIMPLE...TRUST GOD AND LOVE

Today, I joy in the memory that my goal in life is, and has been for some time now, to keep it simple..."it" being life itself. As I have noted many times, I identify myself with Grandma Moses...stick figures, primary colors and unfancy talk. 

I was reminded of that when I came across a post of mine from 2017: [I]t is a comfort for me to believe every conscious 'thank you' we pray, every conscious thought of a spiritual nature that we have, that is God making contact with us....Simply put, we can quit trying so hard...for God will be loving us, even as we are straining to change our own self. He will be seeking us even then...maybe especially then.

Apparently, I needed a reminder today...that which I knew back then is true still only deeper at a higher level. My "new" state of consciousness, trust, is on the field!

Trust...God never does not love us. 

Thank you. 

OUR THOUGHTS HELP MEND THE WORLD

The Joy of Perpetual Guidance. Wait for Guidance in every step. Wait to be shown My way.... All the responsibility of Life taken off your shoulders.... [T]he wonder of this--a God-guided life. - God Calling, December 13, 2023

My recent blinding flash of the obvious, All our changes will now be God-guided...trust, is affirmed.

 
With that recent BFO in mind, God Calling today is particularly meaningful to me. I shared my BFO with a friend just yesterday, and today's entry puts the Period to it. I am grateful it is called The Joy of Perpetual Guidance.

 

To me, this means that all my new self-determined objectives, no matter how spiritual I believe them to be, will now be put through the crucible. When they emerge, in this lifetime or the next, they will be my gold...my trust in God. 

I take Fr Richard's Daily Meditation today for my initial directions. Quoting teacher Mirabai Starr about mending our broken world: How are we to do this? The answer is: with every act of loving-kindness and generosity. ... It means slowing down enough to let the pain of the world all the way into our hearts, allowing our hearts to break open, and acting from that broken-open space. It means stepping up with humility, with curiosity, with love....our loving, kind thoughts count too...[they] make a difference. They help mend the world.

There. Necessary suffering again shows true as the Way of the Lord...not for self, not for glory, not to get but to give with humility, with curiosity, with love.

A must-remember:  ...our loving, kind thoughts count too. They help mend the world.

Thank you.

GOD IS IN THE BROKENNESS...BEAUTIFUL

Like Kintsugi—the Japanese method of repairing pottery using gold, silver, or platinum to fill in the cracks—this doesn’t hide our brokenness but makes it beautiful. -- from Fr Richard's Daily Meditation, December 11, 2023

Morphic resonance! Or I am reminded of that...reminded by the gift to me nearly 50 years ago that I need to find the sliver of gold in any less-than-wonderful appearing in my life. Until yesterday, I had never heard of Kintsugi...but, oh my, I do love it.

Repairing pottery is my new metaphor for upgrading attitude. Using gold, both pottery and attitude love the brokenness...show, don't hide. It is our attempts to hide the damage that cedes power there.

I'm guessing that Kintsugi is the material way of life for the Japanese potter...upgrading our attitude is the spiritual way of life for us. 

We need to remember that whether we are repairing pottery or upgrading attitude, we must make way for a Power greater than self...God, in a word...to form the beautiful for us.

Thank you. 

BY GRACE, SURRENDER BIRTHS ACCEPTANCE

Thaddeus Golas in his book "Lazy Man's Guide to Enlightenment," wrote that we must go beyond reason to love...and as Origen claimed, We must dig out the deep meaning in the scars and scandals in our lives. 

The scars and scandals are just that...finding the slivers of gold hiding in the reason for our scars and scandals head us in the better, spiritual, direction. 

Invariably, self-centered fear leads the way, but, again, that is just so many words. We must discover the reason for our self-centered fear...and then go beyond that reason for beyond is where love...now realized as God...lives.  

To the reasoning mind, surrender equates with you lose which we resist, until we learn, repeatedly, that love lives in surrender. The reason for our self-centered fear will remain forever hidden from us until we resist not by turning for help to a Power greater than our self. 

It is through the Higher Power that surrender is transmuted...and acceptance is ours! We accept ownership of our scars and scandals, and forgiveness releases self to give over, give up, give in with love and laughter.  

Depending entirely upon our need and our want-to, this entire process can take a heartbeat...but never, never, never count on that. For the likes of us, it takes a lifetime...and maybe longer. I haven't gotten there yet, but through the grace of God, I am willing.

Thank you.

DEEPER GOD-INTIMACY, BELONGING AND UNION

First thought is nearly always from the material mind, and payback in kind is as like as not to be its goal. Our long-time search for spiritual growth is put to the test. We bless that first thought...hug it and kiss it and let it go...and welcome the realization that this is not to be hated but to be forgiven.  

I wrote and posted that just a couple of days ago; just this morning I realized that it proves to me that refusal to gossip, or to speak a less-than word about anybody, is the correct end result but not the first step toward a spiritually based life. 

We must accept that first thought as our own...otherwise we try to deny it by pushing it down inside where it will fester and not die. It will not die but it will rise again tomorrow or way later...at something unrelated that an innocent someone says or does...wreaking havoc beyond comprehending. We bless that first thought...hug it and kiss it and let it go.  

Not to put too fine a point on it, but I lean toward the belief that all of our woes are born as self-determined objectives. (It should go without saying that woes do not include brain cancer and the like.)

Since I know...and I have proof of purchase...that I am the source of all my woes, it is no stretch to intellectually accept that all my woes, bumps in the road, irritations, aggravations, ad nauseam, are born in self...and are grown by blaming others. 

I believe peace of mind through surrender are found in Rohr's unitive consciousness, my raised consciousness...in short, out of reasoning mind into spiritual mind.

God is preparing and drawing us toward deeper intimacy, belonging, and union. -- Richard Rohr's Daily Meditation, December 10, 2023

Thank you.

ON FINDING GOD IN THE LIMINAL

To encounter the holy in the ordinary is to find God in the liminal. (I neglected to note from whom that originated, but it fits my life-trip today.) 

I shared with friends recently my "new" mindset, that is, to detach from trusting my will in God's hands to trusting God in my life...to DO my life.

For the past 50+ years, my life has been based on turning my will and my life over to the care of God. I've primarily concentrated on my will since, face it, if we truly turn our will over to the care of God, our life will follow.

At around 40 years I was gifted with a BFO suggesting I trust God, loose my will and DO my life...which went over my head like a hairnet, but I know my BFOs so I was willing to be led. 

For the past ten or so years, I've been open to being turned away from my will toward DOing my life. DOing my life by trust in God...through trusting the Father within me. Trusting by going with what comes forth from me...words or actions...little things that I do and say that may surprise me...and may not always seem reasoning mind-good, but so far have not led me wrong. 

Trust me, all of this has been and is being done very imperfectly...that I am willing gets my grateful bow. 

One lesson learned that felt unwonderful at the start: I made a remark to a friend without thought but not without care, and it came out borderline snark. It was not a major muff, I apologized, and it was gone, but that told me clearly that I must go slowly, slowly on this unknown road of DOing my life by trusting God.

To always remember...or try not to forget...God is always present, but so is ego. We will never go wrong by turning our will and our life over to the care of God. 

It is our own self that gives God the edge.  

Thank you.

GO TO GOD FOR GOD...IN GRATITUDE

Concerning the Hamas war, too recently the word started coming to the general public of the hideous torture of the Israeli women. 

What happened there...raping women to death, torturing them beyond description, parading those still breathing through the streets to the cheers of crowds...is for us to learn of but not for us to dwell on. 

First thought is nearly always from the material mind, and payback in kind is as like as not to be its goal. Our long-time search for spiritual growth is put to the test. We bless that first thought...hug it and kiss it and let it go...and welcome the realization that this is not to be hated but to be forgiven.  

Forgiveness is of God, not something we alone can do, but each of us is responsible for our forgiving thoughts. It is the likes of this that keeps us seeking higher for deeper spiritual growth.

We recall an early BFO, upgrade your thoughts, downgrade your problem. We must constantly be aware of our thoughts, to upgrade them as we think them, not to control them, but to give over control through thank you to God...to do with them, build of them, upgrade them as God wills, God's way.

Each of us individually is responsible for our thoughts...for turning them to God. Sincerely. Plain and simple. No frills. No ideas original to anyone but our own self.

We go to God for God and that is all...He knows what to do.

Thank you.

FORGIVENESS...ON GETTING OVER OURSELVES

Forgiveness demands three new simultaneous 'seeings': I must see God in the other; I must access God in myself; and I must experience God in a new way that is larger than an 'Enforcer.' -- Fr Richard Rohr, Daily Meditation, April 30, 2017

Forgiveness. I suspect the word "forgiveness" is the devil's (my ego's) hidey-hole. I suspect that is because the very word all but makes me break out in shingles...who's kidding whom, my ego finds it sanctimonious. 

My admittedly rare experiences with forgiveness have been realized by my looking back. One particular occasion, a betrayal by my then mentor, when I was hurt to my core. I was spiritually advised to let it go...which I did. I did not hurt; I did not dwell there. Ten years later when that same person came to me for help, I did not even remember the hurt experience, and I gave my best to them.  

When forgiveness happened, I know not...it was only upon being reminded many years later of the experience that the memory of it returned...not the hurt, just a memory with no ribbons or bows attached. 

The above quote invited me to look more deeply into that experience and discover the following points of identity today:   

I must see God in the other...the other was my mentor, who I already considered holy, so God's hand was clearly in any forgiveness. Proof...we are close friends today, fifty years later.

I must access God in myself...I tend to believe I access God in myself by God's access of me. There is no other way than by God's grace that my mind could be cleansed in the instant; it was then and has been on the rare occasion since.

I must experience God in a new way that is larger than an 'Enforcer'...I do not recall thinking of God as an Enforcer...more like my "Stepin Fetchit," precisely the old way that must change. I must experience God in a new way that is larger than i can imagine.

Forgiveness. The very word is an exercise in getting over our self. Love and laugh.

Thank you.

WEEP NO MORE, MY LADY

Blinding flash of the obvious defined:  Spiritual cognition is recognition. It's knowing on a more conscious level what appears to have been known in the unconscious. Now you have the ability to humbly, quietly trust it, and even on occasion say what so many biblical characters and saints say, 'God told me.' 

This was given to me on June 29, 2016.

That comforts me this morning. 

Thank you.

AN IMPERFECT INSTRUMENT OF THY PEACE

Blinding flash of the obvious: We are One, an imperfect instrument of Thy peace.

It is our imperfection that turns us to God. It is our imperfection that is the sliver of gold that graces our constant seeking to make no mistakes.

That constant search to be a better person, for peace of mind, for the glory of God...all, ego incognito.

Our mistake is trying so hard to fix us, to make us better...sweet, kind, considerate, lovable and generous. Each of those is our gift at birth, yet when life calls on us to use any one or all of them, our egoic mind thinks us a loser...a wimp...a wuss.

We are an imperfect instrument of thy peace...embrace the imperfect! The imperfect mirrors our need for God. 

Without denying an objective outer reality, what we are able to see and are predisposed to see in the outer world is a mirror reflection of our own inner world and state of consciousness at that time. --- Fr Richard's Daily Meditation, December 4, 2023

Thank you.

ALL CREDIT GOES TO GOD WITH GRATITUDE

How we see will largely determine what we see and whether it can give us joy or make us pull back with an emotionally stingy and resistant response. -- Fr Richard Rohr

There. To me, that is a fair affirmation of the power of our thoughts...of positive thinking, in fact.

Positive thinking keeps our mind peaced, and a peaced mind keeps our heart, soul, body and brain ready, willing and looking to do God's will, God's way. We do not consciously know how, we just know it does, and we only know by doing it...while keeping our thoughts spiritual in nature.

More often than not, we confuse positive thinking with thoughts of winning. There is no winning, no losing, in a peaced world. There is only an attitude of gratitude aiding in our unconscious desire to do for the benefit of another.

Interestingly, if questioned about actually doing for the benefit of another, we'd deny it...deny it by saying how we wish we were that good and decent a person. That thinking, too, we must beware of for it can lead to false modesty which is ego in a pretty dress.   

It is only right that inner goodness is unacknowledged by us for it is unrecognized by us...all credit goes to God.

Thank you.

NOT BY SELF, BY GOD, II

[The following is a slightly reworked reprint of my post of December 3, 2013.]

We are told the promises of God will always materialize if we work for them.

Why is it so hard to remember that the "working" for them is the work of maintaining conscious contact with our God? 

It is the work of aligning our will with God's will, of detaching from our wants (most often fear-based and always of self), knowing our needs (always of God) are already met...are within us waiting to be released.

As we are released from our ego-victory wants, our needs flow forth, materializing as that which we need at that moment. 

We think, "What a coincidence! I was just saying...."

The spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it. -- Anonymous

Thank you.

ON LEARNING TO LOVE ANEW

We only get this one chance to live this life of love. Every day is a lesson in love, learning how not to bind up ourselves and our neighbors, but in fact, to free ourselves and others....We’ll have to feel this and that. But we’ve got to keep the stable center by a conscious choice for love. If we practice returning to that Love, it will become truly real and vital. —Richard Rohr, Daily Meditation, December 2, 2023

Love and its varieties are riding herd in my head and heart this morning...specifically love and how to do it. I'm coming up empty...or overstuffed...I got words, meanings, analyzes, but I got no meaning. 

The thought floated in my head yesterday that I do not know love...how to experience God-love. I know and appreciate familial or boy-girl or pet love, but I have never experienced love as truly spiritual souls speak of love. 

I almost regret that the word love has become interchangeable today when speaking of people, pets, clothes and cars, to mention a few. Though I have to wonder if that isn't for our benefit...it makes us dig ever deeper to find just what the meaning of spiritual love is to us personally...the love of our Father and all his works.

My best has been to find words that describe what does not mean spiritual love...I'm thinking God love. Not our love of God, which is dicey at best, and not God's love for us which is unfathomable...it is God, Period. 

Maybe that's the hidden catch...maybe we are not meant to mentally get love... otherwise, we'd stay right there expounding on it, or wrap it up and put it on a shelf for safekeeping.

We can take heart in Fr Richard's words, Every day is a lesson in love, learning how not to bind up ourselves and our neighbors, but in fact, to free ourselves and others. 

We can accept that learning how is not a one-shot deal...it is our life's gift. We get to go over and over and over again the lessons that turn us to God daily even as we resist.

Thank you.

NECESSARY SUFFERING...RESIST NOT...LOVE

It’s the nature of life to circle around the smaller and smaller self, to take fewer and fewer risks, and to never go outside our own comfort zone of people who are just like us.... Every day is a lesson in love, learning how not to bind up ourselves and our neighbors, but in fact to free ourselves and others. -- Fr Richard Rohr, Daily Meditation, December 1, 2023

We need constantly nurture...to hold dear...the reminder that we live spiritual growth not to avoid necessary suffering but to experience necessary suffering.

Our need is to experience that, not just to know it by thinking it, talking it, writing about it, but actually in our soul experience it. That cannot be done from the eyebrows up. Mainly because most of us have never truly grasped our soul as a working part of us. There's the proverbial Catch-22.

Proving our soul is akin to proving our God. We believe...ah, but proving it gets right dicey. 

It's after the fact that we have our proof, our so-called miracle. Before the fact, we have our prayer, thank you, then we trust...or hope and call it trust.

Here's the lesson...necessary suffering is the act of exchanging our mind, the loose it and let it go part. We are coming to the realization that the material world is not where our peace is...the full realization of which we'll likely not get in this time and place.

Changing our mind is of the material world, the world of right/wrong; exchanging our mind is of the spiritual world, the world of nonresistance or love. 

Love through nonresistance is that for which we are diligently seeking every day in every way...whether we know it or not.

Every day is a lesson in love, learning how not to bind up ourselves and our neighbors, but in fact to free ourselves and others. -- Ibid.

Thank you.

STILL MORE SPIRITUAL GROWTH LEADS, II

[The following is a reprint of my post of October 28, 2020.]

Blinding flash of the obvious: The wonder of still more spiritual growth: It is not ours to grow, it grows us.

That BFO clears my cluttered thinking...I realize that once we have made the decision and committed our self to still more spiritual growth, we change within. Our want for our self-determined justice is upended, and seemingly on their own our thoughts no longer feel resisting, but welcoming...from closed to opened.

We are now seeking to understand rather than to be understood.

But wait, there's more! After my quiet time, I'm reading Rohr's "Daily Meditation," and there spelled out is my spiritual growth bringing home the bacon: If we try to move without being attuned to the music of God and our True Self, what we do will not be beautiful, helpful, or possibly even worth doing.

There it is...a self-determined objective defined with no justifier, qualifier or fancy-schmancy...and a self-determined objective was the furthest thought from my reasoning mind. Ah, but clearly spiritual growth knew my need.

Trust our Father within...He needs no prayer but thank you for our needs are already met.

Thank you.

WITH GOD IN A SENSE OF PEACE AND PURPOSE

One thing is becoming increasingly clear to me: that You cannot help us, that we must help You to help ourselves. And that is all we can manage these days and also all that really matters: that we safeguard that little piece of You, God, in ourselves. And perhaps in others as well. Alas, there doesn’t seem to be much You Yourself can do about our circumstances, about our lives. Neither do I hold You responsible. You cannot help us, but we must help You and defend Your dwelling place inside us to the last. -- Interrupted Life: The Diaries of Etty Hillesum, 1941–1943  

I am coming to believe...sincerely believe...that our very fear will save us for nothing turns us to God faster or more sincerely than fear. The world's shortest prayer, Help!, is no doubt the world's most sincere prayer in its moment.

We hear...we preach...fear not! But, if only from our eyebrows up, we know the Way is to welcome our fear...the welcome is our turn to God. 

It may be true...if we were capable of sincerely welcoming fear, we would not fear...and probably be turning to God a lot less. 

Some years ago, I read of Etty Hillesum. (In short, she was a Dutch Jewish author who in 1943 was deported and murdered in the Auschwitz concentration camp.) When first I read her story, I felt spiritually gobsmacked, and I still do. I had read of others, not many but some, who had walked through the fire...walked through in faith and love of God and humanity...and did not come strutting out the other side looking like our idea of a winner. In the process of their dying, however, they were wholly with God in a sense of peace and purpose.

Her life, her diaries, are of God and meant to be read, reread, passed on, savored and saved for all who come after to lift us just a tish higher on every reading. 

In the process of dying, there can be naught higher than to be wholly with God in a sense of peace and purpose.

Thank you.

GOD IS NEVER NOT WITH US

 Ye though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for thou art with me....

Here's where I am now, feeling like I'm walking through the valley of the shadow of death...not to be overly dramatic about it. But this is where I have been and calling it the 80s...in fear, but a whole new and different feeling of fear. I accepted long ago that there are only two feelings from which all others flow...there is love and there is fear. If we feel good, love; if we feel not so good, fear. Keeps life and living it simpler.

I realized recently that the 80s is me, still finding reasons to get what I have always sought, namely, a man in my life to make me half of a couple.  

It has become clear that this new feeling of fear wants a man for to be a go-between for me...a go-between me and my life. Someone to do for me all that I have ever done for myself and very well, truth to tell. But the 80s has a new way of thinking for me, and this, I'm seeing, is the crux of my nervous-Nellie belly.

The obvious just flashed: For what use is the Divine to us if we won't rely on it in faith?

Reasoning mind answers: This is me being me...working my way through my own stuff to get to the Divine within. If I could do it faster, I wouldn't because I might miss the main point...or just a few points, each of which, being Divine, is essential. 

There! God loves me so much. He never leaves me wondering...for long. I take as long as I take, and he's with me every Step of the way.

Thank you. 

THE THIRD WAY...SPACIOUS BUT HIDDEN

Well, now. As I have written, talked, nattered about for a while now, I am experiencing changes...inner changes that appear for all my world to see. They are neither bad nor good just different for me...all of a varying spiritual nature.  I've named them "the 80s," because they seem to have begun around my 80th birthday.  

This morning, as I'm preparing to write my blog, my file opens to the following earlier post of mine:

"6/28/16 THIS MAY BE THE EXPLANATION FOR MY 'INVOLUNTARY CHANGES' THAT I SEEM TO BE EXPERIENCING NOW:" Then I had a quote from Fr Richard's Daily Meditation of that day.

Rohr's quote was of interest then, but what is of interest to me today is the fact that I was experiencing "involuntary changes" back in 2016...seven years ago!...and they were important enough for me to make note of. I had not recalled that fact till I reread about it.

I love that so much it hurts. 

That tells me...or gives a very broad hint...that whatever is going on within us/without us is of  God...maybe not driven by, but for sure preapproved. Face it, we say that every day in various ways, but what we say and what we believe can be two very different things. It is not lying, we just do not realize the new truth as we speak.

 

This is a wonderful example. If asked, I would have sworn my today's inner changes are new, never happened to me before, only came when, or because, I turned 80.

Here's the meat of Fr Richard's quote:  The contemplative stance is the Third Way. We stand in the middle, neither taking the world on from another power position nor denying it for fear of the pain it will bring. We hold the dark side of reality and the pain of the world until it transforms us, knowing that we are both complicit in the evil and can participate in wholeness and holiness. Once we can stand in that third spacious way, neither directly fighting nor denying and fleeing, we are in the place of grace out of which genuine newness can come. This is where creativity and new forms of life and healing emerge. -- Fr Richard Rohr, Daily Meditation, June 28, 2016

Now I see, now I know the gift for me today:  ...we are in the place of grace out of which genuine newness can come. This is where creativity and new forms of life and healing emerge.

Thank you.

ARROGANCE HUMBLED...BE AND LET BE

God's will is not about protecting us from parading our arrogance, God's will is about learning humility when we get caught parading our arrogance. 

I am arrogant...ah, and so are you. 

I'm betting at any given moment, we are each of us as arrogant as the next one. Judge neither self nor the other...be and let be.

There is no cheap humility. It is, however, purely free when we learn to love and laugh.

Thank you.

GO WITH GOD...ALWAYS A WIN-WIN

On being open to being wrong, I've said it before, we'd best rid our self of the idea that we must do the next right thing. Most reasonably sane people do not set out to do the wrong thing, after all; and, nothing will keep us stuck, stationary, motionless like the ego-victory decision to do only the next right thing.

If we are to live life...truly live life...we must be willing to take the risk of being wrong. Face it, taking the risk of being wrong is simply the flip side of risking being right. 

Think it through...we are seeking still more spiritual growth, as in consciously changing our own behavior for the benefit of others...and not exploding when we get a smirk in return. Then trying to think bless you and mean it. 

There's nothing wrong with being wrong, it is failure to admit it that takes us down. It is an egoic demand that we be right and only right. As a ponderable, if we were always right, would we ever find God necessary? 

As it is, right or wrong, God has our back...a forever win-win.

Thank you.

WE NEED GOD...AND THAT IS ALL FOR THAT IS ALL

We’re in Hell now by wrapping ourselves around our hurts, by over-identifying with and attaching ourselves to our fears, so much so that they become our very identity. Any chosen state of victimhood is an utter dead end. Once you make that your narrative, it never stops gathering evidence about how you have been wronged by life, by others, and even by God. -- Fr Richard Rohr, Daily Meditation, December 18, 2020

Looking back, I remember when the BFO I feel fear, God is near first came to my consciousness. It made no immediate common sense, but I have since learned to ponder these visitors. Invariably they become a comfort. 

I feel in a state of turmoil today. A thought keeps circling...Is this real or is this fear? 

I just got the quiet word: It is real fear. 

What do I know to do when I'm feeling fear? I welcome it...I hug it, I kiss it on the lips, I let it go. 

There is the transition...the breath between the touch to my lips and knowing I got it.

Note that the quoted post was published nearly three years ago, yet as I sat down to write, it opened to me, I was not looking for it. There's God, as ever, at my back, front and sides. I'm eased knowing no matter what fear's intentions, God is following in the lead.

I do not have a worldly answer to my fear, but with faith, we don't need the world's answers. We have what we need...God, and that is the answer. 

 

Any chosen state of victimhood is an utter dead end. 

Thank you.

FEEL FEAR, PRAY THANK YOU, MOVE ON, II

[The following is a reprint of my post of November 26, 2019.]

The feeling of running on empty is with me and has been for a while. My notes in "God Calling" tell an interesting tale...all the way back to the 1980s, November is packed with less-than-wonderful notes, asides, prayers and plaints.

Life goes in circles and cycles and going with it works best so those notes bring me comfort...hard comfort, but comfort. They remind me that November is the time of the year I've preselected to be my just-for-getting-through time.

Finding grace in loss is grace. It cannot be self-willed...wished for, of course, but acceptance is as close as we'll come to it, and that can't be self-willed either. I've walked over a lot of personal hot coals getting to acceptance and unlearned from each one...and, who's kidding whom, that's gratitude in a cold bath.

Maybe loss is the cherry-on-top...like fear, it exposes our utter powerlessness, and in our emptiness, we can only turn to God. There in the miasma of neglected, rejected and abandoned, we sense our lantern's faint glow...before ever we have eyeball evidence, we know: I feel fear...God is here.

Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at the moment. — Eckhart Tolle

Thank you.

GOD IS OUR GREAT WEB OF BELONGING

The shift from God at the zenith of the great chain of being toward God with us in a great web of belonging is the heart of today’s spiritual revolution.  -- Writer and speaker Diana Butler Bass

For whatever reason, I am taken by the image of God in the midst of us...not "up there," not out of reach without a lot of stretching, straining, praying and pleading to just get a feel for him in our life.

When first I heard the words the Father lives within, it attached itself to me, and I trusted its truth. Today, thank you is my ever-present go-to, and my life proves it. I worry not...mostly.

I'm reminded of this from a happening just yesterday. I was on the phone with an acquaintance, and in the midst of my remarks to her, I totally forgot the next word I needed to say...the word that was the crux of my sentence. Then the whole sense of the sentence left me...which I cleverly covered with "as you well know." I'm fairly certain she did not, but she, too, covered well, and we wound our talk up.

I promptly had a mini panic attack...dementia?! 

I was sent back to my post of a couple days ago where we had written:  ...whatever comes, we need only believe to say aloud, This, too, is of God.  And we will be peaced.

I am humbled and happy to report that that is true. 

On the edge of panic, the thought arose, This, too, is of God...and I was peaced. 

Since then, I have not had any dreaded thoughts attempt to enter...nor have I attempted to explain any dreaded thoughts away. When...not if...they come, I welcome them for they, too, are just looking for a home.

Love and laugh.

Thank you.

WE FIVE-FINGERED ONES AND OUR GIVEN SEAT

[E]very single living life form has been given a seat on this sacred hoop of life … and that includes us … the five-fingered ones. We also have a seat on that sacred hoop. Every single member has a methodology for upholding its part of the sacred hoop. Every single member must uphold their part of the sacred hoop, or the integrity of the hoop begins to fail. That’s what I believe we’re witnessing right now. -- Pat McCabe (Weyakpa Najin Win, Woman Stands Shining) of the Diné nation 

Blinding flash of the obvious: My posts...those are my part, are me upholding my part of the sacred hoop. Thank you.

That seems such a small thing, the writing of my posts. 

I have worried and fretted for years...literally years...because almost all of my friends (and every single foe, seems like) do so much for others...serve others selflessly, all but religiously, and maybe even there, too. I do not...worse yet I have never even wanted to...uh-oh, all that worry leans toward guilt which gives the lie to not wanting to. 

I seriously resisted starting to write, but it was gifted to me. One fine day, I sat down and started typing...and published what I wrote! And every possible day for the past fifteen years, I get up, I go into my quiet time, then I sit and let my posts flow forth. 

It sometimes takes an hour, sometimes several hours...I only know how long it may take after I've put the last period to it since I never know when I start what's to be said. I do not know, nor do I care whether the posts are read, and if read, appreciated or demeaned...they are not mine, they are freebies.

Just this morning when I got the word that writing is my service to God...that making myself available every morning for God's word to flow from within is of God...I felt jubilant. All my feelings of guilt just got transmuted...they're now jubilant!

Again, the writing is not mine, it is of God. His flow through me shows forth as my service work, and I am freed of the surface garbage. 

God does indeed work in mysterious ways for our benefit his wonders to perform.

Thank you.

GOD'S WILL, GOD'S WAY IS GOD'S LOVE

It seems that most everybody I know over the age of 60 is secretly afraid they have or will soon fall victim to dementia. Everybody, of course, includes me. 

This morning I invited my fear to spell itself out, and I realized my fear reaches unto end of life. Further, I may already have dementia or soon will have it, and it will steadily worsen until three days after I die at age 100. There it is, my fear at its finest.

While all of that may be true, there are always two ways of looking at life, i.e., materially or spiritually. On the material plane, I may die before dementia can do its worst. I have often said that I do not fear death, but I am a tish nervous about how I am going to go. There. Dementia's upside...death has become its sliver of gold. Quick, fast and in a hurry just earned its wings.

Then spiritually...I asked for God's interpretation. I got nothing...nothing regarding dementia or how I'm going to go or when or where. 

I did get, again and yet again: God's will, God's way is God's love, forever for our benefit. Unknowable as to specifics, knowable in faith...whatever comes, we need only believe to say aloud, This, too, is of God.  And we will be peaced.

God's will, God's way is God's love. How could that not be for our own personal benefit? 

Thank you.

WE CHOOSE GOD CHOOSES US

I have read that Alan of Lille claimed that reason, guided by prudence, could discover most truths about the physical order without help; but in order to understand religious truth and to know God, the wise must believe in faith.

Until this morning, I never heard of Alan of Lille but I agree wholly with his claim. Here's this ancient theologian's thought that through the centuries has become commonsense...to me at least.

I have felt light-headed and not with it, not myself, for over a week now. I have learned when feelings akin to this happen, to do all the physical checks first...if nothing comes, do the spiritual checks. All I got from the physical checks is a confirmation that I am allergic to just about everything...to me a well-known and experienced fact is the more meds and OTCs I take for my allergies, the more whopperjawed I feel.  

So I'm opening to a spiritual check-up. I do know...or maybe am just comfortable admitting to...there is no way to do a spiritual check-up using our reasoning mind alone. As Alan of Lille put it, in order to understand religious truth and to know God, the wise must believe in faith.

The human-condition glitch with faith is...it is not available on demand...we must grow into it. Just as time takes time, faith takes...well, faith. 

Oh, mini flash...apparently, this is my time for building on my faith. I do have faith but, just like the air we breathe, we need more...ever and always, more.

I'm thinking the old go big or go home can be reworked to go with God or go alone. 

I choose God chooses me.

Thank you.

PRAY THANK YOU UNTIL WE MEAN IT

Psychotherapist Kathleen Dowling Singh: My prayer: 'May this space I call me be happy, well, safe, peaceful, and at ease.' There is a deeper place—closer to essential nature, less filled with ego’s thoughts—that holds the intentions and wishes. It is grace. -- Fr Richard Rohr's Daily Bulletin, November 18, 2023

This unsettled, slightly ailing, feeling I have had for a week now...I have made my cardiologist visit and got cleared; I made my G.P.'s office and got prescriptions for the uncontrollable cough...with a general feeling from him of ho-hum, nothing to see here, keep on moving.

I have not felt ill as such...I wonder if my being 80+ did my thinking for me...ah, and is doing both P.A.s' thinking, too? 

This morning a mini-BFO occurred...is this me being raised in consciousness? Shedding the old, growing into the new waiting within to be donned? 

I need to rest in the fact that the Christ is ever doing for me, for my benefit...to pray for the Christ to do for me is an act of self, not faith. 

We pray thank you until we mean it.

There is always the possibility that this is my material life drawing down...Thy will, Thy way, please and thank you.

Thank you.

RESIST NOT...LOVE YOUR ENEMIES...PEACE

The art of being human is in uniting fruitful activity [broom/dustpan] with a contemplative stance [thank you prayer]—not one or the other, but always both at the same time. The holding of this tension is the very shape of wisdom. -- Fr Richard's Daily Meditation, November 17, 2023

According to me, our current mindset...of hate, war, death, destruction...is the fertilizer being used today to unconsciously grow our only need...love. Or, to learn the true meaning of love... underneath the feel-good, to where to suffer for a change into higher consciousness is of God. 

Maybe we need a revamp of the word love. I'm drawn to Brother Lawrence, a devout 17th-century monk who worked in the kitchen at his monastery and found God in everything. It is said of him that he always governed himself by love without interest. 

There it is...to live by love without interest...can there be a higher...or deeper...aim than that? 

According to me, we need an authentic change of the current world mindset, which seems to be to resist...to resist, specifically with anger. That change can only come from and through a Power greater than our self...greater than human thinking, even at the genius level for that is still an either/or mind. 

To accept that love your enemies is the open secret to a life of peace and purpose...a spiritual life. Our reasoning mind resists that outright...our spiritual mind exults.

Thank you. 

ON BEING YOURSELF...WARTS, AWARDS AND ALL

 I am hesitant to admit it, but I'm not having any more of the "be your authentic self." It sounds righteous, but down deep inside, I don't even know what that means...on its face, yeah, but underneath it all? 

I be who I am, I say what I believe, I try to keep others' feelings before my own. When conversation gets deeper...God, country, Trump...I soft-pedal my truth. I move on when the other party is looking to "debate" which actually means to "argue."

There are many "sounds good" sayings...when said the first time, they were gold, but repeated endlessly, they just get bleated and deleted. 

For instance, "Say what you mean, and mean what you say." Excellent advice. But if we don't take it to heart the first couple of times we hear and/or say it, it becomes a conversation filler...or stopper, depending on our intention.

My life-changers, e.g.,  resist not evil or we have ceased fighting everything and everybody, I rarely, if ever, say aloud for others to hear. Ah, but their deep inner meaning will stop me still...cause me pause again to hold to their personal truth for a moment. 

I don't get that from the 90th time I've heard or said the likes of, "Be your authentic self."  But that may just be me (or my authentic self? 😊).

Thank you.

ON DOING LOVE...GRAB A BROOM AND A DUSTPAN

I seek to be emptied of my spiritual shoulds...my idea of what a Christ connection should feel like...what I should be doing to prove my connection...what any spiritual connection should feel like.

I note that crash-and-burn was my original path to God, so my nemesis now may be my path to acceptance...feeling unloved, unneeded, unwanted and unappreciated may be my home base. If that be so, I can begin now to welcome those feelings. They, too, need to be loved.

"Beginning now" is my decision...pulling it off, i.e., loving the unloved, etc., will prove Thy will, not mine, is the key. 

With that decision, God's will, God's way has taken on a deeper commitment...daily I must recommit by doing love for the unloved, for the unwanted, for the unappreciated. 

Before I get too esoteric, I'd best get honest with my own self...doing love is pretty much make the bed, pick up around the home, call an ailing friend, offer to make their bed, pick up around their house. Oh. That has a ring of truth that needs some love itself.    

It seldom fails...we get some high-flown ideas of proving God in our life...I know! I'll save the babies in Gaza...and God gives us a broom and a dustpan. 

God is so good to us. 

Thank you.

FINDING OUR COMFORT WITHIN

It is only by a foundational trust in the midst of suffering, some ability to bear darkness and uncertainty, and learning to be comfortable with paradox and mystery, that you move from the first half of life to the second half. -- Fr Richard Rohr, Daily Meditation, June 13, 2016

That I stumbled onto the above quote this morning is continuing proof of God doing my thing through me. My experience yesterday at the new offices and parking building of my cardiologist tells my tale.  

Back story: I took myself to my cardiologist yesterday...to his new office in a new building with a new parking space in a new nine (or more)-story building. Needing to visit my cardiologist was not my concern...plus, finding my way into and around all the "new" was not the concern I expected it to be. 

The office building, the parking building, all the newbies are spectacular...all high-tech...higher tech than one can imagine. Example: A young man, 40-ish, asked me for directions. We hooted and hollered and had a good time with that.

Looking back, it is the interchange with other people that made it a pure gift from God. We were all fairly free in asking for and giving help. It was a joy to experience either the friendly commiseration that we hadn't broken the code yet either, or the shy pride that we had and wanted to share it...it was wonderful.

All of this is by way of saying that we can recognize our foundational trust in the midst of suffering, some ability to bear darkness and uncertainty. 

Giving our self permission to realize the drama of our little lives is of God. Face it, darkness and uncertainty visit whenever they want to. We build a foundational trust when they visit, and we don't try to change them, stop them or top them. We say our thank you, knowing God has already perfected this for our benefit. Also known as learn to be comfortable with paradox and mystery. 

There...we move from the first half of life to the second half.

God loves us so much!

Thank you.

HOPE IS OUR SPIRITUAL LIFELINE

Aging can be either a life of nostalgia or a wholehearted engagement with the future. It is a disruptive process as things break down, friends and pets die, houses are sold, and memories of the past haunt the present. Months melt into years, and we find ourselves in the flow of life. -- Franciscan Sister Ilia Delio, Fr Richard Rohr's Daily Meditation, November 13, 2023

That closely describes me today. What is delicious is the first sentence in the quote: Aging can be either a life of nostalgia or a wholehearted engagement with the future. 

I opted immediately for the wholehearted engagement with the future, and realized my flow of life today is...uh-oh. I have symptoms that fear has diagnosed as cancer (my uncontrollable cough) and heart (phlegm, a danger sign). 

I go to the cardio this morning...to a new building and new parking lot. So of course I am feeling trepidatious about the new building, the new parking lot, and the need to make a decision...should I take Lyft? or dare the new? 

My realization is that my trepidation is my wholehearted engagement with the future...this is me at 80+ and how I meet the new facts and acts of my life. 

Finding the gold in the dross: I am welcoming hope as my spiritual lifeline. I hope that I believe more wholly, trust more deeply, and accept that I have only begun to let go and let God.

Thank you.

ON FINDING OUR SELF IN GOD

The lesson in learning to pray thank you and that is all, is it does not keep any dreaded thing from happening...it brings a sort of peaceful "apprehension," and that becomes our peace. Almost our "Why worry? Be happy!" 

It is peace of mind, of finding our self in God, that keeps us from retrenching and reasserting our correctness as Fr Richard so aptly put it.

The pearl in my life has been the discovery that the dreaded thing du jour, given to God by our thank you, can in time transmute into peace...and that does indeed pass understanding.

I think of a few of the things that I am now at peace with that I once prayed so earnestly for God to remove from me...and how they are the building blocks that changed...are changing...me.

Fear has been the base for my change of mind, thus life.  My blinding flash that nothing turns me to God faster than fear changed my mind about fear. It did not remove fear but I no longer obsessively try to pray it away. 

Pray thank you and feel the grace of gratitude...change your mind, change your life.

Thank you. 

A LITTLE HAND MIRROR, II

[The following is a reprint of my post of November 21, 2012.]

So I'm talking with God this morning, and he says, "I'll tell you what you need...you need a little hand mirror to carry with you at all times. That way you'll always be able to see immediately and exactly who and what your problem is."

That was such a good idea that I immediately thought of all the people I needed to give a little hand mirror to....

Thank you.

SEEK YE FIRST....AGAIN

[The following is a slightly reworked reprint of my post of  November 8, 2015.]

The only block there can be in your channel is self. Keep that out, and know that My Spirit is flowing through. -- "God Calling," November 7

I dreamed I stumbled into King Tut's undiscovered tomb. The riches there were staggering...diamonds and emeralds and sapphires and gold...everything, everywhere. There were rarities I didn't even recognize. I understood that they had been sitting there for centuries upon centuries waiting to be discovered.

A silent voice came to me in my dream, saying, "This is how it is with the Father's treasure within you. Riches beyond your imagining just waiting to be freed. The only block is your constant digging to get to the treasure yet calling it a search for God. God is not hidden...it is your refusal to believe that he is free within you now that blinds you. Accept that...lose any thought for the gifts that will bring and be free."

Our belief that it is ours to find the Father within will ever block us...in the first place, we are relying on our own self, and in the second, we're usually going for the treasure and calling it peace of mind.

We go to God for God and that is all.

Thank you.

GOD, EINSTEIN, US...A CIRCLE OF COMPASSION

A human being is part of the whole, called by us 'universe,' a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separate from the rest -- a kind of optical delusion of consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. -- Albert Einstein

I've read that in my Easwaran daily every November 9 since 1996...with my underlinings and highlights as proof...yet just today it bloomed as mine. Here, the fruit of the bloom: Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison...this kind of optical delusion of consciousness.

Yes! For this I have yearned...I have sought...I seek yet...to be free from this prison of delusion.

To me, this is what the November 5 Daily Meditation of Fr Richard was about: Unless and until we understand the concept of God’s unmerited favor, God’s unaccountable love, we will stay stuck in the material mind....It is, without a doubt, the key and the code to everything transformative for a raised consciousness...from the material to the spiritual.

Clearly, this is neither new nor news...I've been expounding just this since I began seeking still more spiritual growth...this is the nature of the spiritual growth I seek. 

In short, Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison...this kind of optical delusion of consciousness.

Oh, blinding flash aborning: What if my already knowing the truth of this is the freedom I continue to seek? What if, as I now suspect, my own idea of freedom is my optical delusion of consciousness? I do not consciously seek rainbows and roses, but not getting the equivalent self-determined objective, doubtless is my block.

The answer is the same as it was when first I wondered how to be a grown-up sober lady...as my beloved mentor said, "You act like a grown-up sober lady...God will do the rest."  

I do, and God does.

Thank you.

THE INVISIBLE UNKNOWN MOVES AS NEEDED

Jesus said to the host who had invited him, 'When you hold a lunch or dinner … invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind; and blessed indeed will you be because of their inability to repay you.' —Luke 14:12–14

I only quote the Bible when I agree with what it says...and that depends entirely on my rare ability to understand what it says.  

I do love the above verse though...there is nothing to not understand according to me. It puts into words my limited understanding of God's will, God's way...which is when what we are being given seems to be the opposite of what we're praying for...bingo! God's will, God's way.

The material mind is not built to understand that...spiritual mind has a tough enough time with it. We can see inviting those who cannot repay, but not because they cannot repay...and there it is, the point. 

Because they cannot repay, we can share repeatedly...a one-shot deal, as on a special occasion, does not even count. Their need for food is our need to feed. It is our inner Self that raises our consciousness and meets the need.     

I suspect this is where the miracle works of grace and God flow freely...feeding the thousands, etc. There is no way two loaves and a fish could feed a dozen much less thousands, but why quibble when we have so many honest and true examples in our own life...unexplainable but by grace and by God.

As Anne Lamott was quoted yesterday, The movement of grace in our lives...is the mystery. Some invisible unknown moves as needed, and we gratefully pray thank you.

Thank you.

SIT, WAIT, REALIZE...GRACE

We must each seek within to find our own spiritual answers.

God's will, God's way appearing to me may not appear to be God's will and way to another. We must each find our own spiritual truth, and then accept the unselfed changes appearing in our life are ours by grace.  

Who each of us is personally is God's precious and impersonal gift. Acceptance begins with the many unexplainable changes appearing. What appears in our life may or may not be akin to others' inner discoveries, but, having ceased fighting, we pray thank you and sit and wait on the Lord. 

We are learning the great lesson of trust...God does not play favorites. Changes appearing to our reasoning mind...for good or for ill...invariably benefit all. They are born in the inner self, the place where grace lives. 

The movement of grace in our lives toward freedom is the mystery. So we simply say 'Thanks.' Something had to open, something had to give, and I don’t have a clue how to get things to do that. But they did, or grace did.  -- the author Anne Lamott

Thank you.

ON TRUSTING THE RADICAL NATURE OF GRACE

According to Fr Richard, People who have not experienced the radical character of grace will always misinterpret the meaning and major direction of [the Father's Word].

There it is, the key to the spiritual mind...the radical character of grace. My take on that radical nature is what I all but pontificate on...the understanding that God's will, God's way is the opposite of our will, our way. 

The Word came again this morning: Whatever comes to us, comes for our good...find the good for there is God. Thank you.

That confirmed that long-ago BFO about God's will, God's way, but it also alerted me...when these oldies but goodies pop up, I might want to pay attention. Many times an adjustment so minor as to be unrealized until after the fact is passing through.

Here's my good news...I no longer hunker down with my magnifying eye examining every thought, word or deed said to or by me. I trust God. The needed adjustment could have already been made...it'll come to me when, as or if needed. 

I choose to accept the little alerts as my spiritual antenna picking up the good news...the good news that is always happening whether we know it or not.

I hope to be a tish more aware today of my inner tick-tock...it is not necessary, just an exercise in focusing my mind. 

Whatever comes to us, comes for our good...find the good for there is God.

Thank you.

MY SHAME...GRACED WILDFLOWERS

My thought-prayer last night as I drifted into sleep: 

I say 'I am so ashamed '... that shame is lifted by grace, torn and tattered into tiny pieces to fall to earth and bloom as wildflowers. Thank You.

Thank you.

TWO WAYS TO SEE ONE THING, II

[The following is a reprint of my post of December 24, 2016.]

I just read an old note I wrote in my God Calling, and it thrilled me to my toes. All I had written was, Yesterday, I gave over to John in a very small but ego-denying way. Thank you.

I made note of it because I had just started the big turn from thinking any giving over was proof I was gutless and would never be able to stand up for myself, take my own part, know and show that I'm just as good as anyone...the poor-pitiful-put-upon-me list drags on.

I'm glad I date my notes and that I made note of this because, in truth, it isn't all that old. In my mind, I've been doing this for a long, long time..."this" being giving over. And there it is...that is my ah-ha. I've given over for a long, long time, only I've just begun to realize it as God's better way and not ego's wimp-out.

This is proof again that there are two ways of looking at every one thing...through our ego's eyes and whine or through God's eyes and bask in sunshine.

Thank you.

PRAY THANK YOU...THEN LOVE AND LAUGH

We pray for the crooked places of life to be straightened, the rocks and rivers to be smoothed and quieted. Then we recall Meister Eckhart's If the only prayer you ever pray in your life is thank you, that would suffice, and our crooked road du jour is met with our heart's thank you, and we breathe a tish more freely.

God is everywhere, but he seems more present when we feel the need...in the rough and tumble of life when we fearfully call for him. Again, we realize his presence is our gift and remember his always presence as our duty.   

I have pondered that and to me, the obvious question is: How could he be of help to one who knows no problems, no fear, no strain? Frankly, I doubt there is such a sentient person. God is present, it is the one who is closed to his presence that receives him not. 

Ah, that person is me, is thee, is each of us at any given time when fear comes riding herd, and, in that unending instant, we're feeling unloved, unwanted, unneeded and unappreciated...all alone. 

Yet, here comes our miracle...nothing brings God into our consciousness faster than fear. We know this to be true for our first incoherent thought is Help! Followed by whatever words pour forth but all of them seeking solace, comfort, aid...help, in a word, from an invisible Source. 

We become peaced...we are not relieved of our "problem," but we are no longer paralyzed with the fear of it. That is the gift of crash and burn, that which we go to great lengths to avoid is just another gift of God. 

Again and again and again...we pray thank you then love and laugh.

Thank you.

ON SOLVING A SPIRITUAL QUANDARY

Mother Teresa has said that the task is not to do big things but to “do small things with great love.” We invite you to scan your nation, our planet, and the natural world and ask where is there suffering, especially innocent suffering, that you might respond to with love. -- Fr Richard's Daily Bulletin, date unnoted.

That is a big invite...to scan our natural world to find innocent suffering that we might respond with love. 

My thoughts skipped a worldwide search and went to my small world...to a fairly minor error in judgment I made recently that may or may not have bruised the sensibilities of a dear acquaintance. 

My quandary is whether to bring the error to the other's attention and learn they had not even noticed it (and now....), or to not bring it up and learn they are growing a resentment because of it. 

The spiritual quandary is how to solve this so that each party comes out the winner. 

Maybe "the winner" is the sharing of warm feelings through the realization that God's will, God's way ever proves no error made, just an opportunity to love given and grown.

My definition of "winner" -- all parties feel the presence of God in the midst of a quandary and love and laugh. 

Thank you.

TO LOVE THE UNLOVABLE...JOY!

Life with Me is not immunity from difficulties, but peace in difficulties....Joy is the result of faithful trusting acceptance of My will when it seems not joyous. -- God Calling, January 8

Almost everything I have read this morning has mentioned joy. What a sweet way to begin a life change...a new month, a seasonal weather change...joy! (Especially for the likes of me, a spring/summer lover...joy in learning to love.) 

God Calling, my first read of a morning, leads today with Joy is the messenger, dear Lord, that bears our prayers to Thee. Immediately on reading that, the thought flashed that same Joy bears happy nonresistance back to me.

There...my just-realized definition of joy...happy nonresistance. Happy nonresistance fits all...in the face of a boon, in the face of a bane, happy nonresistance, or joy!

I suspect I've considered joy to be a feeling only of exuberance, of happy bursting at its seams. This morning I can accept that as true, too, on occasion, but it is possible...preferable...to live joy in happy nonresistance to life itself.

All of this shows the way of the above God Calling quote of January 8: Joy is the result of faithful trusting acceptance of My will when it seems not joyous.

One difference between the material mind and the spiritual mind...materially, we usually think of joy as akin to a personal goodie bag, while spiritually we accept joy as the way of life. No matter what is occurring before our eyes, it is God's will, God's way and, therefore, for our benefit...joy!

Thank you.

PRAY TO UNTHINK, TO UNLEARN...FOR FAITH

I am beginning to suspect...realize?...that all my learning is leading me to unthink. The reasoning mind is essential to us daily...but gets in our way a lot when our spiritual mind is aborning.

I do not doubt that a great mental burden will be lifted when we begin to unlearn and rely on our inner self. Face it, our main security blanket is just words, pretty words and true, words of gold even...but He will not remove the gold from the crucible until all the dross has gone... [God Calling, p. 5].

We may speak pretty but until we are living upright and righteous and without forethought, we are missing the Source...we are speaking by rote and expecting riches.

Maybe unlearning and unthinking are the roots of faith...and I say without blushing, no wonder faith is so hard to grow into...it asks us to go against our natural self. From the eyebrows up, that makes sense...moving it down to heart and soul is for God to do His thing.

Then we shall no longer complain. / Then everything that God has done with us / Will suit us just fine, / If you will now only stand fast / And keep hold of sweet hope. —Mechthild of Magdeburg from Fr Richard's Daily Meditation, October 28, 2023

Thank you.

ON LIVING BY SPIRITUAL PRINCIPLES

Blinding flash of the obvious: It is not what is said that hurts my feelings, it is how I choose to hear it that hurts my feelings.  

Our need is to upgrade our hearing, meaning lift it from the egoic plane up to the spiritual plane. That process requires "Sermonizing," or, living by spiritual principles.

First, we pray thank you which turns us to our Inner Power for acceptance of what we have heard and from whom we heard it. Second, same as first unto infinity which is now our life. 

Acceptance is not questioning the mystery of divine/human union...clean acceptance is based on that mystery. "It" keeps coming back egoically until we get it right spiritually...meaning all sides come out the winner. 

All sides come out the winner is the rub, of course. Short and to the point, we gotta get over our own self. 

As in every religion, there are times, places, and people who 'get it'—the mystery of divine/human union. There are different stages and states of consciousness, and all are part of the journey. -- Fr Richard's Daily Meditation today.

Thank you.